What does it really take to raise teenagers who still talk to us, trust us, and stay connected even as they push for independence?

In this episode of the Family Dialogues Podcast, parenting expert Alyson Schafer joins the conversation to unpack one of the most challenging transitions for families: moving from parental control to parental influence during the teen years.

Alyson explains why adolescence begins much earlier than many parents expect, how brain development and neuroplasticity shape teenage behavior, and why conflict often increases just as teens are doing exactly what development requires of them. Drawing from Adlerian psychology and decades of counseling experience, she reframes teenage resistance not as defiance, but as preparation for adulthood.

You’ll hear practical guidance on:

• The three stages of adolescence and what parents should expect at each stage
• Why fear leads parents to overcontrol and how that erodes connection
• The critical shift from being the “pilot” to becoming a trusted co-pilot in your teen’s life
• How strong relationships, not punishment, protect teens from risky behavior
• Why teens who feel emotionally connected to their parents are more likely to make safer choices
• How to replace punishment with agreements, consequences, and family meetings
• Concrete strategies for keeping communication open, even with withdrawn or resistant teens
• How parents can rebuild trust and connection if the relationship already feels strained

This conversation is essential listening for parents of preteens and teenagers, caregivers navigating power struggles, and anyone who wants to raise emotionally resilient teens without losing the relationship that matters most.

• Parenting the Adlerian Way Podcast – Hosted by Alyson Schafer
• Alyson Schafer’s Parenting Books (HarperCollins Canada)
• Alyson Schafer Parenting Teens Facebook Group
• Alyson's Instagram
• Parent Education Classes (Adlerian / democratic parenting approach)
• Family Meetings (as a structured parenting practice discussed in the episode)