Billy Queen returns in part 2 of this two-part series, to share what it cost to live undercover when the danger didn’t come in short bursts, but followed him every hour of every day. As a longtime ATF agent embedded deep inside the Mongols, Billy describes moments where a single wrong move could’ve ended his life. This conversation matters because it exposes the personal toll of long-term undercover work, especially the lines that get blurred between duty, identity, and survival.

Episode Highlights

• [00:00] Billy picks up the story with a weapons “qualification” that turns into a test of trust and fear
• [04:50] The physical and psychological abuse of prospecting inside the Mongols
• [08:30] A fellow prospect tries to leave and is forced into a deadly gamble
• [11:55] Living with the constant threat of being exposed and killed
• [14:41] Orders to commit violence and where Billy draws his personal line
• [22:01] Losing contact with family while maintaining his undercover role
• [24:44] Grief, loyalty, and the emotional pull of brotherhood
• [28:20] Parallels between combat, law enforcement, and outlaw gangs
• [31:14] A moment that forces Billy back to his true identity
• [34:33] Witness protection and being separated from his children
• [37:29] The limits of traditional mental health support for undercover agents
• [42:56] Moments that nearly broke him and how he coped in isolation
• [45:14] Realizing the consequences of a life spent undercover
• [52:08] Lessons learned and why this kind of operation shouldn’t happen again
• [53:08] Billy reflects on who he is today and what still drives him

Links & Resources

• Under and Alone by Billy Queen: https://a.co/d/06QaUd4r
• North Carolina Gang Investigators Association: https://www.ncgia.org/
• UNC Greensboro Digital Media Center: https://uncg.libguides.com/dmc
• North Carolina Center for Safer Communities: https://www.dpi.nc.gov/districts-schools/district-operations/center-safer-schools
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Listener Advisory

This episode includes discussions of real-world violence, criminal activity, and emotionally intense subject matter. Listener discretion is advised.