“It took me until 41 to be like, ‘I actually like you’. It's a recent revelation because before then, I didn't like me. I liked what I did. It took a while to get there because you have to be demure, humble or whatever. And it's like, bitch, no. I can like myself. I can love myself. People can see that this is a journey and they could be like, maybe I wanna take a similar journey.”

Ooooosh hard f*ckin’ relate!

My guest for this episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…” is author & journalist Sharan Dhaliwal (she/they). She’s the Founder of the UK’s leading South Asian culture magazine ‘Burnt Roti’ and the Founder & Co-Director of Middlesex Pride. I’m a regular reader & big fan of Sharan’s work (which appears regularly in The Metro amongst other publications) and I recently read her brilliant debut book ‘Burning My Roti: Breaking Barriers as a Queer Indian Woman' which came out in 2022. The book explores ‘how her Asian identity and queerness came up against capitalism and white supremacy’.

With Lesbian Visibility Week 2026 underway, Sharan’s voice as a queer woman of colour is one that is so needed right now when it comes to the importance of speaking up. Real, sharp & unique and shaped by her own lived experience, passion for community - which she describes as ‘my belief system’ - and her deep understanding of society, culture & history. She shares why being loud is so crucial right now & her origin story highlights this…

Little Sharan always had something to say. She grew up in Southall, West London and, in her words, she was a ‘walking bingo card for bullying’ and often seen as ‘weird’ or ‘not girly enough’. Support was scarce and Sharan focused on pop culture as a way to disconnect & simply get through. Her earliest feelings of belonging came in the form of discovering subcultures, namely metal music, emos & goths.

Sharan reflects on how a pressure to conform resulted in many dangerous situations and her work today covers many topics around this area including beauty expectations, dating, relationships, assumptions around gender, racial inequality, politics and more.

We discuss Sharan’s pride in ‘Burnt Roti’ and she shares “I still get so many messages from people who say that they came out because of Burnt Roti. They found their community because of Burnt Roti. They left abusive marriages because of Burnt Roti.”

Sharan & her wonderful partner Sabah (former podcast guest & friend of mine) got engaged last year. Their love story is beautiful and you can hear why during this conversation! We chat all about Sharan’s early career, including a random stint in payroll, her desire to become a queer historian, the issues with Pride events today and our mutual love of ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit’. I loved this chat - have a listen.

FYI. Go check out ‘The Last Princesses of Punjab’ exhibition which Sharan was a part of… and SAVE THE DATE for Middlesex Pride: Sunday 2 August. I’ll see ya there!