How's Your Ma: Episode 2
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About this listen
This week, Leanne and Orla share a raw and deeply moving story sent in by a listener — a woman who grew up in a home shaped by infidelity, neglect, and addiction, who became the caretaker of her younger siblings from childhood, and who is now, as an adult, looking after the very mother who failed her.
The girls talk about what it means to carry that kind of weight, the guilt and shame that comes with complex feelings toward a parent, and whether it's ever okay to say no. They introduce the concept of "lighthouses" — those rock-steady people in our lives who see us for who we truly are — and reflect on what it means to survive, to grow, and to finally be heard.
Orla also opens up about her own experience growing up as a mixed-race woman in Ireland in the 80s, facing racism and poverty, and the lighthouses who helped shape her into who she is today.
An honest, emotional, and ultimately empowering conversation. You are not alone.
Timecodes:
00:00 — Welcome & introducing this week's listener story
00:32 — The listener's story is read out — infidelity, neglect, and a childhood lost to responsibility
02:55 — "My ma is currently dying of cancer and I despise having to look after her"
03:27 — Orla & Leanne react — championing her strength and asking: is it okay to say no?
06:22 — Introducing the lighthouse concept — the people who are rock steady in our lives
07:28 — What it meant for her to finally get this off her chest
08:12 — Being the eldest daughter and the weight of responsibility
09:48 — Referencing Katrina O'Sullivan's Outside Mullingar — stories of poverty and resilience on stage
11:21 — These stories aren't unique — the hidden impact of adverse childhood experiences
12:52 — Stories lived vs. stories told — the importance of safety and no judgment
14:25 — Growth over comfort & giving yourself permission to say no
15:33 — Invitation to the listener to reach out or come on the show
17:20 — Survivors of life — what it means to watch people get over the hump
19:15 — We want to hear the real you — the difference between the smile you wore and what you truly felt
21:29 — Orla opens up about growing up mixed-race in 80s Ireland — racism, poverty, and identity
24:27 — Don't be quick to judge — you never know what someone is carrying
25:33 — Closing thoughts — a smile goes a long way