How's Your Ma: Episode 2 cover art

How's Your Ma: Episode 2

How's Your Ma: Episode 2

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About this listen

This week, Leanne and Orla share a raw and deeply moving story sent in by a listener — a woman who grew up in a home shaped by infidelity, neglect, and addiction, who became the caretaker of her younger siblings from childhood, and who is now, as an adult, looking after the very mother who failed her.

The girls talk about what it means to carry that kind of weight, the guilt and shame that comes with complex feelings toward a parent, and whether it's ever okay to say no. They introduce the concept of "lighthouses" — those rock-steady people in our lives who see us for who we truly are — and reflect on what it means to survive, to grow, and to finally be heard.

Orla also opens up about her own experience growing up as a mixed-race woman in Ireland in the 80s, facing racism and poverty, and the lighthouses who helped shape her into who she is today.

An honest, emotional, and ultimately empowering conversation. You are not alone.

Timecodes:

00:00 — Welcome & introducing this week's listener story

00:32 — The listener's story is read out — infidelity, neglect, and a childhood lost to responsibility

02:55 — "My ma is currently dying of cancer and I despise having to look after her"

03:27 — Orla & Leanne react — championing her strength and asking: is it okay to say no?

06:22 — Introducing the lighthouse concept — the people who are rock steady in our lives

07:28 — What it meant for her to finally get this off her chest

08:12 — Being the eldest daughter and the weight of responsibility

09:48 — Referencing Katrina O'Sullivan's Outside Mullingar — stories of poverty and resilience on stage

11:21 — These stories aren't unique — the hidden impact of adverse childhood experiences

12:52 — Stories lived vs. stories told — the importance of safety and no judgment

14:25 — Growth over comfort & giving yourself permission to say no

15:33 — Invitation to the listener to reach out or come on the show

17:20 — Survivors of life — what it means to watch people get over the hump

19:15 — We want to hear the real you — the difference between the smile you wore and what you truly felt

21:29 — Orla opens up about growing up mixed-race in 80s Ireland — racism, poverty, and identity

24:27 — Don't be quick to judge — you never know what someone is carrying

25:33 — Closing thoughts — a smile goes a long way

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