NOTE! Video available on YouTube. In this episode, I sit down with marriage coach and former therapist Lee Baucom to talk about what really causes marriages to break down—and how to prevent it.

Lee explains that most couples unknowingly “hit the pause button” after committing, turning their focus to life demands and building habits of disconnection. We unpack the three levels of connection—physical, emotional, and spiritual—and why love alone doesn’t sustain a marriage without ongoing attention.

We also explore complacency, resentment, and what one partner can do when the other isn’t motivated, including inviting connection rather than chasing it. Finally, we discuss expectations, values-based responding, self-regulation during conflict, and shifting from competition to a team mindset, plus where to find Lee’s Save The Marriage and Unpause Your Marriage resources.

Un-Pause App: http://UnPauseYourMarriage.com

Save The Marriage System: http://SaveTheMarriage.com/system

My books: http://SaveTheMarriage.com/books

00:00 Lee Baucom

00:11 Introduction

01:10 Lee's Background & Origin Story

03:24 Why Marriages Fail: The Pause Button

11:48 The Three Levels of Connection

19:10 Rebuilding Connection: One Person Can Start

27:13 Attachment Theory & Personal Healing

28:07 Expectations & The Root of Frustration

32:49 Marriage as a Team

35:44 Self-Regulation & Responding from Values

45:21 Conflict That Serves the Relationship

47:13 Discovering Your Values

52:28 Wrap-Up & Resources

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