A doctor emailed me recently, she's been in medicine for 25 years, and the question she asked was one I've heard in a hundred different ways: "Am I a snowflake?"

She felt a great deal of shame about finding things hard - something I see time and time again in high achievers. Like the feeling that not coping is proof of something wrong with you. A character flaw. A sign you've gone soft.

But the data tells a different story. In a survey we did of over 600 health and social care professionals, nearly one in three worried about whether they or their team would cope with rising workloads. One in three. That's not a snowflake problem - that's a system problem.

In this Quick Dip, I unpack why the shame about not coping is often more damaging than not coping itself. Why our ingrained programming tells us that we have to cope with everything, all the time, to feel good enough. And why protecting the appearance of coping - keeping the show on the road at all costs - will cost you more than any boundary ever could.

We cover:

• The "Am I a Snowflake?" question and what it really means

• Why not coping is a sign of an empty tank, not a character flaw

• The Superhero Delusion and how it keeps you trapped

• Biscuit Boundaries and the Responsibility Trap

• Why shame thrives when you believe you're the only one struggling

• The stress curve and what it reveals about your limits

• Why conflict feels more frightening than burnout for high achievers

• The two stories of not coping - and which one costs you more

This episode is for you if you've ever wondered whether you're the weak one. If you've been holding it together at work while feeling like you're falling apart underneath. If you've told yourself you just need to be more resilient, push harder, cope better - and it isn't working. You are not a snowflake. You never were.

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Mentioned in this episode:

🌞 The Summer Reset for Doctors