The Weight of Trauma: Unpacking Adoption, Love, and Identity with Felix-Long Laneri cover art

The Weight of Trauma: Unpacking Adoption, Love, and Identity with Felix-Long Laneri

The Weight of Trauma: Unpacking Adoption, Love, and Identity with Felix-Long Laneri

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If you’ve ever wondered what it really takes to love yourself and be loved for exactly who you are, this episode of Dem Bois Podcast will challenge your beliefs and inspire your journey. Today I sit down with Felix-Long Laneri, and he shares his story of how embracing his trans identity, healing from a complicated adoption story, and leaning into community transformed his life. From unpacking the weight of human trafficking behind his adoption story to navigating relationships with a distant adoptive mother, he offers raw insights into the complexities of identity, family, and belonging.


We talk:

05:14 - Adoption, loss of heritage, and the complexity of trafficking

06:20 - China’s one-child policy, uncertainty around his birth story, and lost origins

11:28 - Childhood memories that revealed gender alignment

19:08 - Felix’s relationship with his adoptive mother

32:59 - Community, engagement, and the love that currently supports him

45:19 - Somatic therapy, healing through the body, and why it matters for trans folks


Episode References:

Dem Bois Podcast Ep. #95 Having Faith and Knowing That You’re Worthy with Alexander Rey Simon-Perez

Dem Bois Podcast Ep. #96 Season 3 Finale - Episode of Empowerment with Alexander Rey Simon-Perez (Divine, They, He, King)


Read more about Felix in his bio below:

Felix-Long Laneri is a social worker, somatic practitioner, organizer, trans, transracial adoptee. He currently works as a gender therapist in a therapy group practice, providing space for predominantly trans folks across the life span to explore identity, relationships, and healing. On his off time he organizes Philly TMOC, a transmasc of color group focused on relationship building and expansive boyhood.

  • IG - felixlaneri


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