In this episode of the award-winning Caregiver S.O.S. On Air, hosts Ron Aaron and Carol Zernial sit down with Dr. Grace Macalino, a public health researcher and the founder and CEO of CAPWA AllCare. Drawing from her personal experience navigating the complex journey of caring for her aging parents, Dr. Macalino discusses a critical yet often overlooked aspect of caregiving: the massive shift in personal identity.

When we become caregivers, we easily get swallowed up by "the doing"—the endless list of daily tasks, doctor appointments, and logistics. But what happens to who we are? Dr. Macalino introduces her Evidence-Informed Caregiver Identity Framework, offering listeners a much-needed language to understand the emotional evolution, isolation, and unspoken guilt that comes with stepping into a caregiving role. Whether you are balancing a career, managing long-distance care, or learning how to transition a loved one into memory care, this episode offers a compassionate roadmap to finding agency, setting boundaries, and reclaiming moments of joy.

Key Takeaways

• The Distinction Between 'The Doing' and 'The Being': Caregiver burnout and isolation often don't stem from the physical tasks themselves, but from the unaddressed emotional toll of an eroding personal identity.

• The 'Deafening Silence' of Caregiving: Unlike becoming a parent, society rarely acknowledges or celebrates the massive identity shift of becoming a caregiver, leaving many to feel entirely alone.

• Reclaiming Your Original Role: When the scale tips and you forget you are a daughter, son, or spouse because you are only acting as a caregiver, it is a sign of trouble. Transitioning a loved one to professional care (like memory care) can painfully but beautifully allow family members to step back into their original roles as husbands, wives, or children.

• The Power of Bahala Na: Embracing a cultural mindset of letting go of control—acknowledging that you have done your absolute best and accepting that "it is what it is"—is essential for releasing caregiving guilt and shame.

• Moving from Survival to Agency: By understanding the stages of the caregiver identity, individuals can move past mere survival and gain the agency to keep themselves in control of their own journey.

About Dr. Schauf

Dr. Grace Macalino Schauf, PhD, MPH, is the Founder and CEO of Kapwa AllCare. Drawing on her background in public health and her personal caregiving experiences, she developed the Caregiver Identity Framework, an evidence-informed approach that helps caregivers better understand their journey, reclaim agency, and build sustainable support systems for themselves and their loved ones.

Hosts Ron Aaron and Carol Zernial, and their guests talk about Caregiving and how to best cope with the stresses associated with it. Learn about "Caregiver SOS" and the "Teleconnection Hotline" programs.

Caregiver SOS On Air is a presentation of the WellMed Charitable Foundation. For more resources, tips, and past episodes, visit caregiversos.org or email your questions to radio@wellmed.net.

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