Essays in Love

Don't 'read' when your heart is breaking

A beautifully written piece, combining philosophy, psychology, observation and a captivating story absolutely seamlessly, and with such humour and sadness it is unputdownable. The narrator is a skilled storyteller, whose sensitivity to the subject permeates his voice. This book would be perfect for anyone who is single, starting a relationship, in a loving relationship, and in a relationship in trouble who needs some loving guidance and reflection.
But I beg you, do not read/listen to this when you're in the middle of heartbreak. I started listening after watching many School of Life videos on YouTube, finding them fascinating and comforting, and thought this book might help me heal from my break-up from a beloved of 6 years, the wounds of which are only a month old. I got up to a certain point in the story, and suddenly all the pain and grief are just as fresh and overpowering as they were 4 weeks ago when we finally realised, both of us, for the first time, that it was really over. As a consequence I've had a crappy weekend, and feel like I've taken 15 steps back in recovering from this heartbreak.
If I'd waited a few months, when the pain isn't so raw, it would have been immensely healing, but I listened too soon. I'll probably come back to hear the last few chapters in a few months, but for now I just wanted to add a "trigger warning" to this otherwise wonderful book. If your heart is breaking, wait a while. Sending love to all who read this that know the pain I'm feeling right now.

17 people found this helpful

Not for the lonely ...

Alain de Botton meticulously dissects that bizarre and complex creature: the Love Affair. He takes every emotion felt, and every action taken, and - through the magnifying glass of philosophy - analyses the whole process of falling in love. From the moment of the lovers’ first contact, through the heat of their passion, the rage of their arguments and the ridiculousness of their sulks, we hear what the philosophers - ancient and modern - have made of love.

As with everything of Alain de Botton’s that I’ve read, 'Essays in Love' is rich with ideas and beautifully written: he manages to put heart into what could otherwise be rather abstract intellectual concepts. The narrator is somewhat neurotic but in a necessary and likeable way, and I was with him through all of his trials. A wonderful book - brilliantly narrated, too - that is going to stay with me for a long time.

11 people found this helpful

Great

It wasn't what I expected, but it was a brilliant balance between being a novel and a psychological analysis of feelings of love.

5 people found this helpful

intellectual and boring - lacking emotional depth

Got too bored of both Mr DB's books on love. Great idea for a book, but I wonder where nice man might benefit from a therapeutic exercise to calm down the intellect and allow for the emotional, and other aspects of wisdom to thrive.

I prescribe a course of therapy - no shame in that

3 people found this helpful

Not my cup of grey

This wasn’t for me. Some of it was useful and some parts are funny but generally could not connect or relate with the posh narration. I didn’t find it consistently universal or ironically clear about the specifics of a very upper middle class perspective/experience of romance. In fairness I can see others might enjoy tho

2 people found this helpful

A bit disappointing

The narrator was good but when he did the female character's voice it was a bit cringy and made her seem quite one dimensional. The story was disappointing as it seemed to cover quite trite generalities of a love story and none of the characters were likeable to me.

Lite

Having read all of Alain De Botton’s books, this one did not live up to my high expectations. The narrative felt somewhat trashy, and the narrator made it feel more so. Sorry Alain.

Alain De Botton does it again

Download it. A whole cascade of life altering knowledge will come your way, a lot of which you sort of knew deep down anyway.

Dire

I've watched Alain de Boton's School of Life videos and read some of his books with pleasure. They are both funny and knowledgable and I've learned a lot, and even changed my behavior (when I remember).

This book was a tremendous disappointment, it was a series of lectures and statistics clothed lightly as a novel with a ludicrous set of unbelievable, one-dimensional characters. Even the author could not inject enthusiasm reading his own book.

Readers, watch his brilliant YouTube videos instead and get the substance of this 'novel', far more wittily presented in just over an hour..

great listen on philosophy of love & relationships

insightful. I have definitely learnt and understood a lot about the psychological and social mechanisms behind situations in which I have recognised myself and others. the couple's story serves as a prototype with which one can identify at least in some parts. language is nice and philosophical, however sometimes makes it unnecessarily complicated . altogether really good and very grateful for good writings on this topic that concerns all of us, thanks Alain