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No-Drama Discipline cover art

No-Drama Discipline

Written by: Tina Payne Bryson PhD,Daniel j. Siegel MD
Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel MD,Tina Payne Bryson PhD
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Publisher's Summary

The pioneering experts behind the bestselling The Whole-Brain Child - Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel J. Siegel, the New York Times bestselling author of Brainstorm - now explore the ultimate child-raising challenge: discipline. Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Disciplineprovides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears - without causing a scene. 

Defining the true meaning of the “d” word (to instruct, not to shout or reprimand), the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth. By doing so, the cycle of negative behavior (and punishment) is essentially brought to a halt, as problem solving becomes a win/win situation. Inside this sanity-saving guide you’ll discover

  • strategies that help parents identify their own discipline philosophy - and master the best methods to communicate the lessons they are trying to impart 
  • facts on child brain development - and what kind of discipline is most appropriate and constructive at all ages and stages
  • the way to calmly and lovingly connect with a child - no matter how extreme the behavior - while still setting clear and consistent limits
  • tips for navigating your children through a tantrum to achieve insight, empathy, and repair
  • twenty discipline mistakes even the best parents make - and how to stay focused on the principles of whole-brain parenting and discipline techniques.

Complete with candid stories and playful illustrations that bring the authors’ suggestions to life, No-Drama Discipline shows you how to work with your child’s developing mind, peacefully resolve conflicts, and inspire happiness and strengthen resilience in everyone in the family.

©2014 Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson (P)2014 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

"Wow! This book grabbed me from the very first page and did not let go. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson explain extremely well why punishment is a dead-end strategy. Then they describe what to do instead. By making the latest breakthroughs in brain science accessible to any parent, they show why empathy and connection are the royal road to cooperation, discipline, and family harmony." (Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of The Opposite of Worry)

"Using simple and clear explanations, practical advice, and cartoons that make the how-to guidance come alive, this book is a rich resource for families trying to navigate meltdowns and misunderstandings. It explains how neurobiology drives children’s infuriating and puzzling behavior and will help parents make their way through the trenches of a typical day with grace, mutual respect, and a good helping of delight." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee)

"What a relief! Siegel and Bryson take the difficulty out of discipline, for parents or anyone who has to help kids behave. No-Drama Discipline offers a research-based, commonsense approach that any grown-up will be happy to use, and any kid will benefit from." (Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence)

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What listeners say about No-Drama Discipline

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Awesome awesome..

A must read book. Very well narrated. Each chapter is so full of knowledge.

Would recommend every parent to listen to this. Specially Indian parents. The sooner the better.

2 people found this helpful

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Excellent book on Parenting

Authors have given holistic approach to parenting.Must for parents of all age..good book for all

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  • D
  • 20-10-22

Great great book

I loved it. the instances so relatable and suggestions practical. Hope for wonders now

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Excellent book. A must for every parent

Very good book. recommended for every parent. The over all concept and the tools shared by the authors are great.

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must read for every parent

loved listening to this audio book,very valuable information and a must read for every parent

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A must read for all parents and non-parents

this book offers excellent insights into a child's developing mind and their behaviour. These insights can really help in connecting with children in the toughest of moments. Take a bow, Authors.

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keep listening it again and again for better paren

keep listening it again and again for better parenting. worth reading. must read for every parent.

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very insightful

loved it.. very thoughtful, practical and absolutely relatable with wonderful examples... would highly recommend the read

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excellent.

Awesome book.Essential book for all caretaker. Thank you Authors and researchers . I learnt a lot.

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Very insightful!

I liked this book. It helps in understanding how one's brain functions in different situations and how can one control it consciously. The book also includes practical examples for us to understand different situations and how do we deal with it.

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  • G Busi
  • 23-02-15

I Can See Light At The End Of My Tunnel

I had reached the end of my rope with my 11 year old daughter's disrespect and defiance. After listening to No-Drama Discipline and using some of the technics taught in it I feel empowered! I actually understand my daughter's behavior much better and I now have the tools to direct and teacher her the proper way to handle herself when she doesn't want to do something. Instead of battling with her and handing out a punishment I'm able to step back and recognize which part of her brain she is using and help her move to the part of her brain that allows her to make better choices!! Thank you Drs Daniel and Tina!

66 people found this helpful

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  • Andrew G. Hammond
  • 30-03-18

Unfocused presentation of great ideas.

While ostensibly written for parents, this book is wordy, repetitious and unintentionally condescending. The authors have enormously valuable information but fail to present it in a concise and direct format. There is so much repetition and careful couching of concepts that I found it difficult to stay focused on the book.

41 people found this helpful

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  • Mark Anderson
  • 15-05-15

It will change the way you parent!

If you could sum up No-Drama Discipline in three words, what would they be?

This book helped me with my daughter in so many ways. I have a new understanding of why certain things I did didn't work. This book is priceless for parents in my opinion.

35 people found this helpful

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  • Ian Mcewen
  • 14-06-17

most helpful parenting book I've ever "read".

I will recommend this book to anyone that is struggling with their parenting or is having issues with their self confidence with their parenting.
Daniel and Tina comfort you while also providing insight into the mechanics of brain development and invite you to be more curious about why our children behave the way they do. they give you strategies paired with questions/comments to ask and make. I've used them in moments of upset with my 5 year old and have had beautiful moments of connection after she has settled her big feelings. There was one day, where she cried for 50 minutes. First it was because it was time to get on the bus (no Wi-Fi for the iPad) then it was that she wanted to go for dinner, and then she wanted a treat. It was loud and unrelenting. I struggled to get through it and my internal dialogue was less than positive at times (brat, ungrateful, spoiled) but it also included sympathy for her big feelings and an understanding that it was probably about something else. In the end, through her tears, she said, I just want a big big big big... hug. I held her and she said, I don't know why I'm crying. I don't know what's wrong with me. such simple words but they made me realise that there are moments we all have that we are confused and lost. me getting mad at her for that would have made me feel like a terrible mother. I'm still learning to stay calm and allow my kids to have those moments of loud and intense emotions so will definitely listen to this book when I am struggling.

31 people found this helpful

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  • asseret
  • 07-11-17

Read the whole brain child instead

Even though this is an excellent book, the whole brain child is better by far. I felt that some of the ideas where repetitive, and I didn’t find any new information compared to what I read in the Whole Brain Child. Having said that, this book was great too. I enjoyed it a lot and finished it fast.

30 people found this helpful

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  • JF
  • 04-08-15

Terrific book, terrific narrators.

I have listened to both The Whole Brain Child and No Drama Discipline and look forward to Brainstorm next. This book has helped me identify things I do correctly and not only things I can improve on but things I can repair. It has already impacted my relationship with both children (12 & 8), my wife, and business colleagues. I can't recommend these books enough. Thank you to all involved.

30 people found this helpful

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  • Visa
  • 31-05-18

not practical information

they speak alot about keeping and remaining patient and rational. which is a fantastic truth, but when referring to the title "no drama discipline" should really be called "no discipline. DRAMA!!" o.m.g where do I start, so many things wrong in here. they make the kid there 'equal' partner. and fill them up with nurture and coddling, because they don't want them to ever feel rejected when the kid does wrong. how does this prepare them for the real world? it's no wonder why teachers struggle with these kids in there classes today, because of this "new York bestseller" load of garbage. What's going to happen when they get a job and they talk back to there boss, (or as a student to their teacher) is the boss going to apologize and say "sorry if I lashed out at you, that was inappropriate, it's ok if u FEEL like not doing your job today, we'll get it better tomorrow." or another one; everything has to be "silly", junior doesn't want to sit in a car seat so instead of plopping the kid into the car seat and dealing with it, they said no that takes up too much negative energy so let's make it fun and laugh and smile and say let's sit on the invisible man while giggling. so there approach to every opposition the kid creates is to make it silly and fun. sorry that's no way preparing them for school, work, real life relationships. how bout just do what I say and deal with it. cry all u want, but it's life sometimes we have to do things we don't FEEL like doing period. this book is a joke and makes me sad that this has been taken so seriously to become n.y. best seller and even to the extent of it being adopted as doctrine for some institutions, when all its doing is grooming our kids for selfishness, neediness, and why me's, no lessons here. just pure coddling and parents apologizing

27 people found this helpful

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  • Anastasia
  • 03-02-18

I'd like my parents to discipline me like that when I was a kid!

I've read lots of parenting books and so far encountered only two (including this one) which technics not only work but help to bond with your child. This book focuses on not how to make your child to do what you want, but how to teach your child so they understand why they need to behave that way. And this is one of the biggest parenting goals to make our children independent adults, who knows how to make good choices whether they are with us or not.

Sometimes it's a bit repetitive but this makes you see author message from various sides and remember it.

The second best book about parenting is "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and How to Listen So Kids Will Talk" Adele Faber. Another book about respectful parenting. Strongly recommend both books!

24 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Yui094
  • 05-03-15

review

Thought provoking book. I have already implemented some of the techniques in the book. I'm trying not to be reactive but rather I'm trying to connect with my child.

23 people found this helpful

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  • L.
  • 18-09-18

Awful

I really wanted to love this book. But there's so little practical advice, I was wondering if the authors are really parents. Save your money and time and read "How to talk so little kids will listen" instead. You will learn some practical tips you can use everyday as a parent from that book

22 people found this helpful

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  • M. Sheleg
  • 09-08-16

Dry content for an audiobook

I don't doubt that the authors know what they're talking about or their research, but I struggled with the format of an audiobook for this type of book. I personally found their voices quite monotonous. The book also spends a lot of time explaining the brain which is necessary yet seems to go on for a long time before you get to any tangible strategies for actually dealing with behaviour. I would have liked for it to be shorter and more concise, as I think that would have made the audio aspect more easily digestible. As a result I have bought a physical copy of the paperback which I find more useful.

29 people found this helpful

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  • G
  • 02-12-15

Challenged the way I thought about discipline

I admit I was sceptical when my wife suggested I read this. However it seems to make sense and it feels like it's making a difference with my son. If I think about it, there is commonality with some concepts and things I covered when doing a coaching course in the past.

Having now listened and seen improvements I'd recommend people try their approach.

Fyimthere is a useful crib sheet on their website that is useful to remember some of the techniques post listen.

14 people found this helpful

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  • Christiaan W.
  • 04-07-17

Great advice

This book backed up with scientific evidence what my gut feeling had been - that shouting and punishments are not the best way to discipline children. It made me feel that you can be a non-shouter and a compromiser without being a pushover and has given me the confidence to continue with what I was already doing plus provided some very helpful new strategies.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Jojo
  • 31-05-16

The most cohesive and compassionate parenting book I've ever read

And I read a lot of these books both for professional and for personal means. It is beautifully organised and is affirming of all the whole drama of being a parent including the chaos and struggle that inevitable occurs along the way. This is a book that's pitched to all parents and I even played some of it to my seven year old daughter and she took great pleasure in saying "hah you do that sometimes mummy" but I know she felt affirmed hearing what she heard. As a parent I feel calmed just listening to the calm and kind voices of the authors but most importantly, as this is a whole brain approach (read whole being approach) what they say not only makes wonderful sense but it actually works. I cannot recommend this book enough.

4 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 06-02-20

Good theory - lacking guidance for implementation

Interesting book that expolores helpful concepts. Unfortunately it is let down by the very heavy repetition, unnecessarily complex strucures they have devised to address fundamentally straight forward concepts, and sometimes ignores the impact of the context in which discipline takes place (even though context is ackowlaged). Regular over exaggeration in stories is also exasperating (mostly in sections by Daniel). It did not inspire me to read the whole brain child.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Jocelyn Beales
  • 08-03-16

Fantastic and insightful

Highly recommend this book for all parents or caregivers. This has made me rethink my approach to discipline and I've already seen the results in my daughter's behaviour. I can't be sure I'll always be able to stick to their guidelines, but I'll definitely try to come back to the techniques.

3 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • H figg
  • 10-05-15

brilliant

As someone who works with children it was a fresh reminder how to help children grow emotionally through discipline rather than falling into the trap of just telling children what to do.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Niqabi921
  • 11-02-20

I utterly love this book

By far the best parenting book I've come across will need to listen a few times though.
Just started the whole brain child would also recommend that book they are life changing books massive thanks to the authors.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 13-04-17

Well worth the time & money

A must for all parents who struggle to connect to their children or feel they shout too much

2 people found this helpful

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  • Susana
  • 20-01-22

100% exceeded my expectations

I wish I had read this book before I became a mum.
I can see myself coming back to it time and time again...
I found it particularly helpful to listen to the audio whilst following the hard copy and highlighting key or interesting aspects.

I finished reading it today and started implementing the knowledge into my life the day before yesterday...as I progressed through the book I have found situations with my children have improved more and more and the change is now quite drastic. Even if there are times where I won't succeed in connecting with them and appealing to their upstairs brain, I know the goal is to always carry that intention of nurturing the connection and over time, it'll impact them positively.

Yet, none of the information in the book struck me as particularly new or unheard of.. I already knew it all, in my gut... what it has done is highlight how I was parenting from a place of fear where I believed listening to the emotions was too permissive and a recipe for my kids to grow up without boundaries, etc... more importantly, the weight of the rest of society judging you and how your kids 'should' be behaving is a massive factor in how people parent their kids. I wish I'd listened to my instincts more.

I had a very harsh upbringing and it has taken me years to realise I have been parenting, even living, viewing things through that lens. I am so glad I have finally reached this stage while they're still 9 and 11 and I still have time to strengthen our connection and help them know themselves and their feelings.

This really is an incredible book, with so much information and so many examples of interactions with children, so encouraging and down to earth throughout taking care not to make the parent feel guilty for the fact that perhaps reacting (as opposed to responding) to the emotion and behaviour plays a huge role in fights and battles with our children.
Thank you to Tina and Daniel, you really should be so proud.

Best investment in a parenting book ever and I have read a few, so that's saying something.

Thank you again

1 person found this helpful

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  • Valeria
  • 08-02-16

A must for every parent

I found this book after not being able to sit down and read the whole brain child. I listened to it in the car, on walks, when my son was napping and every chance I could get. I got this book because my 2.5 year old son was biting, scratching and throwing epic tantrums that made me lose it every single time. The result was anger, wild emotions, lack of discipline, lack of growth, exhaustion and fear. This is how I grew up and didn't want my son to experience the same. In reading this book and taking the advice we have had a complete 360. My son trusts me, is calmer, more open to communication. I am calmer and more equipped and confident in my role as a parent. This book he also helped me have a better relationship with my husband whom I often treat like a misbehaving child. It's opened liens of communication between us and made me think about how I talk to him. Highly recommended for parents with kids of any age.

18 people found this helpful

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  • Luke
  • 24-09-16

This Works!!!

Coming from a fundamental christian upbringing the only way I knew how to discipline my kids was to threaten and spank. This book highlights how harmful this can be and now as I utilize the information in this book I'm finding a huge change in my children, and, me. Now my kids don't run from me when they make a mistake and thier trust is quickly growing. I love this book and would recommend it to anyone that wants to move away from harmful discipline to loving and caring teaching without the fear.

13 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 21-01-20

No consequences for bad behaviours, just conversations

I feel this parenting strategy is trying to foster a relationship with the child so that you can go through life being their best friend. As admirable as that is, and yes we want our kids to come to us with problems in their life, we do also have to teach that bad behavior and poor choices actually have consequences in order to set them up for the real world.

No, I am not going to just have a conversation with my kid if they are hurting my other child, absolutely they are going to get stern words and no they are not meant to ‘enjoy’ being disciplined. Yes it is about teaching and I like the idea of being a calm parent, but I also do not want to reinforce bad behavior with positive attention, which I feel is exactly what would happen if I followed the authors advice.

I didn’t find much of value in this book, it seemed to live in la la land, not in the real world.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Annabelle
  • 30-01-19

So insightful and such a gift

Child of a toxic dysfunctional family - I realise how that happened- I have two grown sons and did courses back then to ensure that I didn’t make the learned mistakes - trauma and anxiety and shame - sure I made mistakes - this advice wasn’t available back then.

I am going to be a foster care worker and hope I can make a difference - I feel I have better tools after reading this book. It makes sense and parenting is about teaching- not about authoritarian dictatorship - about appearances to outsiders- we have “control” over our kids.

5 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-11-18

Good book. Will pracyice that.

Good book. I would love to hear more about tricks and tips how to deal with your own emotions and as well trick how to get back kids attention, because I believe there is a lot more. And as well to hear shortly about every age biggest difficulties and challanges.

3 people found this helpful

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  • G2000
  • 30-11-15

Factual and easy to follow

Great book for any parent, I am a full time dad who wants to be a great dad and this book is the best I have read so far.

3 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 26-09-18

It helped me

This book changed my parenting style.
It has made me more relaxed as a parent and sympathetic to my child's developing brain.
It did drag on a little bit and the narration was annoying at times but a good book none the less.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Lech
  • 06-06-16

Weak performance of the narration

The book itself is pretty much OK.
Everybody would enjoy it much more if not the authors, who decided to read the text by themselves, and the performances far far away from a professional narrator.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 31-12-22

excellent

this was the book I have been looking for. All about what to do and try not what not to do

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Random Dude
  • 24-11-22

Great ideas though quite repetitive

A must read for parents. Great principles to try and follow with kids, though I do feel they are a little bit too soft at times with recommendations. Awesome summary at the end though.