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Just when Madison has it all together, her runaway mother returns and moves Madison and her siblings to New Hampshire. Fortunately, Madison gets a new roommate with a sexy secret. The first installation of the Pyte/Sentinel Series is lots of erotic fun. Stella Bloom's performance heats up this vampire-meets-virgin caper. Bloom's voice is smooth and spirited. With practiced subtly, she brings life to the characters' voices. Tall, Dark, and Lonely is not for diehard paranormal romance fans; still, listeners looking for a lot of passion and a little vampire may just pull an all-nighter to finish this audiobook.

Publisher's Summary

When the mother that abandoned them years ago suddenly shows up and moves them to New Hampshire, Madison has no choice but to go or lose her family. Shoving her dreams aside yet again, she tries to make a life for her siblings only to discover that nothing is going the way that it should. It's really cold. Her fifteen year old sister acts like a hooker in training. Men act funny around her. Her boss is a real jerk. She feels like an outsider. Her best friend turns out to be a mouthy sixteen year old kid and the incredibly handsome guy renting the room adjoining hers not only hogs the bathroom, taking three showers a day and leaving her with cold water, but he also has a secret. A secret that she becomes a bit obsessed with and can't let go no matter how many times she's warned off.

Detective Ephraim Williams learned long ago not to show any emotion or allow himself to get attached to humans. What was the point? They came and went and he remained. This time wouldn't be any different or so he thought. When his landlady told him that her grandchildren were moving in he didn't expect much, well other than to be left alone. What he didn't expect was to have to fight bloodlust every time he so much as caught the scent of his delectable neighbor's blood or her bombarding him with questions every time she cornered him. If that's not bad enough, a Master from his past has found him once again and is demanding his blood and is willing to do anything to get it, even using the beautiful, irritating, neighbor that makes him feel more than pain for the first time in centuries to get it.

©2010 R.L. Mathewson (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Tall, Dark & Lonely

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Yvette
  • 20-08-14

5 ENTERTAINING, BLOOD-SUCKING STARS!

This was a fabulous read/listen because it was funny, sexy and offered a world of varied blood-suckers & other superhuman qualities (Pyte/Sentinels/vamps etc.), that was refreshing and different. I really liked how R.L. Matthewson's adhered to some aspects of the classic vampire canons, while adding elements to these supernatural creatures that was unique to this story.

24 year old Madison, as a heroine, was maternal, loving, self-sacrificing, and completely loyal to the well-being of her siblings (Jill and Joshua). Her mother Candy was a low-life, selfish woman who only stuck around when it was in her interest. When Madison moved her family to New Hampshire to live in her grandmother's boarding house, well, that's when her life totally took a turn and became something remarkable after meeting the hero of this story.

The hero, Ephraim Williams, who is a Pyte (you have to read this book to learn what that is :-), is about 200+ years old [Yeah, big age difference---but age certainly didn't matter in his love affair] Although Ephraim lives in the same boarding home, he's a recluse until he catches scent of Madison's blood, and cannot stay away from her. As this story progresses so does the sexual tension between the leads and Ephraim's bloodlust for her.

There were a lot of hurdles and challenges both leads had to overcome and solve in order to stay together, but that part of the story was equally funny as it was dangerous. When Ephraim and Madison finally give in to their magnetic romance, I have to say that their Pyte/human sex was phenomenal....it was pretty supernatural, steamy & well crazy hot! LOL. Both leads shared a great love affair. OMG, Ephraim was totally whooped with Madison. The only thing that bothered me was how stubborn she was when she got pissed. OMG, the girl could hold a grudge, but Ephraim's relentless persistence paid off in both keeping her safe and winning back her affection each time she got upset with him.

I enjoyed what became of Madison, Ephraim, and her family.--They became a beautiful family unit which they all desperately needed. One of the best surprises was Chris who was Madison's student and how he got integrated into this unconventional family. I thought the best aspect was how, not only did the leads find this healing kind of love with one another, but that love also extended itself to the rest of the family. WOW!!! What a great story!

CAN'T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT BOOK WHICH IS CHRIS'S STORY! WOOT-WOOT!

Narrator: I've heard Stella Bloom before and I think she does a good job with her narrations. She adds sass and injects the right amount of inflection in the humorous parts.

44 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 23-09-20

Reads like a Incel Red Pill fantasy story

I'm amazed at the good reviews of this book as it is a mash up of various Manga and porn plot lines. It really seems like it was lifted from the various Incel fantasy forums on Reddit. What is also disturbing is the very unsubtle commantary on social programs (unions, welfare programs, etc.). I will update this review with a much more through critique as I think it deserves the dissection. A lot of reviews call out some of the troubling aspects of this book, but then rate it 4 stars which is a disservice to others. I want a hot sex book like anyone else, but I'm not about to ignore the blatant misogyny. I mean, virginity (a social construct) was a hill the author was will to die on during the first half of the book...I mean really? This isn't an old book. It was published in 2010 and set in 2009. Vampire lore or not, there is really no excuse for the disturbing views of virginity and bad women's anatomy. What the author is or isn't doesn't matter, but what they write really does and everyone should expect better content. I would not recommend this book to anyone as there are plenty of other explicit sex novels (with vampires) out there to enjoy.

33 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Camille
  • 26-02-15

Fun New Concept for a Vampire book

I really liked these books! I had gotten a little tired of vampire books but this series has a twist that I found refreshed my interest. The main character is a Pyte, half vamp born to a woman turned vamp during pregnancy. He can walk in the sun among other things a vamp can't do so of course vampires want his blood thinking it will give them the same powers as the Pyte (day walker) but drinking it gives them a big surprise. Sentinels are another interesting set of characters in the series, they're half angel born to earth to off set the vamps, werewolf's and demons. There're lots of twists it these books and I enjoyed them very much. The sexual content is hot (not for the young) but not so long winded it took over the plot. The narration could have been better and is sometimes hard to follow due to sliding from one scene into another without pause but still worth the listen. I'm Waiting for audible to make #3 book whispersync, and there is a 4th book out soon! Happy Listening

21 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • Lia
  • 15-12-14

3.5 Stars - Great Potential But!

The prologue and beginning of this story was enough that after sampling, I wanted more. This is from the author who brought us PLAYING FOR KEEPS which many will agree was straight up fun to read and put a smile on your face. TALL, DARK, and LONELY has that element of humour to it as well and this was so very fresh for me because it was that humour mixed with a paranormal read. I feel in love with the characters of Madison and Ephraim and wanted desperately to know where their story would go.

Now, as my rating suggests, I had some issues with this book too. I loved the humour, I loved the characters but I felt like there were issues with the explanation of things or in most cases lack thereof. There were also points of continuity issues.

The story is told from each characters point of view, but it switches from paragraph to paragraph. I had to re-listen many times trying to figure out who was being talked about. Jumping time then telling the story in past tense had me wanting to quit the book. Plot of the story switched many times also.

Then there were just little things that left more questions and were not brought up in a way that made sense. The strength of his blood and how he can turn people for one. Then there were comments on whether he wanted something or not, when earlier he was described as not wanting it, then it became he did. No while yes, people are allowed to change their mind but this was not like that, it was brought about as if this was what he always felt.

I know I am being a bit vague, because I still don't feel right spoiling the story. I didn't abandon this book, I listened to it completely because I still enjoyed the story line. I don't think I will continue on however, because I fear the same issue will arise in the next books in the series which is a shame. This book could have been utterly amazing with a bit more attention to detail.

Great humour for a paranormal book and I did enjoy my time with it.

Stella Bloom was good with the delivery of the story.

22 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Camilla
  • 12-04-20

I wanted to love it...

The writing is very good and I kept listening hoping the story would pick up and become something more exciting. But I had to stop listening half way through. The main female character is very unlikeable, she does nice things but her attitude towards the male character Effrem is awful. She’s a very selfish lover, she’s judgemental, short tempered and treats him like garbage. He lets her get away with so much it’s impossible to believe a guy with any self respect would allow that. And when he finally tells her off (rightly so) I thought YES! She’ll have to work to make amends but oh no...he comes back after spending time solving another problem of hers.
I had to stop.
I just didn’t like the characters or the lack of an overall plot. It was boring to read about a vampire in a day to day situation. He’s a vampire detective, that’s amazing, and it would have been so great to see more of that instead of her in detention talking to teens.
Good effort, honestly it was very well written, but it just wasn’t tor me.

6 people found this helpful

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  • CL
  • 15-11-20

Not for me

I downloaded books 1 and 2 together. Overall, absolutely horrifying portrayals of women with the overriding message that the only right woman is to be the living lead in a man's sex fantasies and to be a broodmare. I stopped listening to book 2 when the formerly smart independent young female who had kept her younger siblings together alone, gotten a college education, etc., in book 1- had been reduced to being pregnant (again), having "hormone fueled" non-sensical rants, "supposed to stay upstairs", waiting in bed for her husband to get home, walking around the house in a sheet, .... GAH! I can't believe a woman actually wrote these stories.

5 people found this helpful

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  • rose duggan
  • 29-10-20

Tons of promise, then tons of slut shaming. DNF.

The prologue was amazing, I was hooked. This book had so much promise... And then, ugh. This weird obsession with virginity and purity took over, the story was all over the place in more than one way, and then the most ridiculous understanding of female anatomy was my final straw and I couldn't finish listening.

The mythology is very creative, fresh twist on vamps. The actual writing - the word choice, stylistic nuances, grammar, etc. is better than many other paranormal romance books out there. I love third person and am totally cool with different third person POVs.

The jumping all around was hard to follow. I'm assuming (hoping) that the actual text version has page breaks so you can visually tell when we're switching to a different character's pov. The narrator of this audio book however, gave no such pauses. It did get confusing. The timeline would jump abruptly too. What would feel and sound like a continuous paragraph would actually be sentences that were suddenly months later. We're in a classroom, then a hospital, then home, and there weren't any cues to help listeners transition.

The slut shaming, virginity obsession, bizarre super conservativism juxtaposed with graphic sex without a commitment or conversation was outrageous. Don't even get me started on how this author thinks a hymen works. Omfg.

This whole book is bonkers. Save your sanity and a credit.

5 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Amazon Customer
  • 17-10-20

Hard to finish

Narration was awful. The story jumped around a lot and left you a bit confused as to what was happening. I felt like it was missing parts to lead to a new scene or missed explaining things and randomly filled you in later. Things seemed to pop up when they happened instead of the story flowing. Just hard to finish and had to give up and return.

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Lilian
  • 16-02-15

Definately winner

This is such a great book for any paranormal romantic. Ephraim is a pyte... An immortal who needs blood to survive just like a vampire but without the downside of being highly sensitive to daylight or holy water or getting staked. He is also a loner. Madison is a beautiful woman who has worked hard to raise her brother and sister for years because their mother is just, well, the world's worst mother!

When Madison & her siblings are forced to relocate because their mother is back and determined to leech off their grandmother, neither Madison nor Ephraim are aware that their world's are going to collide in a drama filled, hilarious & sent way.

This book introduced us to pyte, sentinels & vampires! Stella Bloom is one of my favorite narrators but I belive she is one of those you will either really love or really hate.... For me the author + narrator make this listen worth a credit!

5 people found this helpful

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    2 out of 5 stars
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  • Evany
  • 06-01-21

200 Year Old A-hole

I have many issues with this story but the one I just can't get over is the guy upon meeting our heroine writes her off as ugly, flat-chested, without curves, and fat. But at least she smells good, right? Later he just refers to her as a tomboy UNTIL... she wears a short skirt and shows some cleavage. Then she becomes the woman of his dreams(don't worry though he didn't know it was Maddison because she's soooo different in her teacher outfit)! I hate that. I get it not everyone likes a tomboy and meeting for the first time bundled up from the cold and working on a car isn't the greatest first impression but to just decide on all these things about her AND to say they are undesirable things "makes sense she is still a virgin" is just gross. I must agree with another review that he sounds like he wandered in from an incel message board...

I'm halfway through the book but our heroine hasn't made any character growth and seems to have made degrowth if that's possible, the plots all over the place, and anyone else weirded out by a 200-year-old vampire not knowing present-day dating techniques but still calling her "baby"?

4 people found this helpful

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  • Kindle Customer. NanNetteGhee
  • 02-01-18

Tall, Dark & Lonely

Another fantastic read from Ms Mathewson brought to life on audible by Stella Bloom. A must buy for your collection. Highly recommended entertainment from beginning to end.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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  • Helen
  • 14-06-15

Great narration ok story

The story was good but I didn't have an overwhelming urge to keep listening but I think that's just because it's not my cup of tea.
The supporting characters where more engaging than main couple so I may listen to book 2 which focuses on Chris' story.

1 person found this helpful

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  • J k Becroft
  • 07-02-21

love it

love this book so much but there were a few glitches but nothing to bad.

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  • Imee_B
  • 20-03-18

So Romantic

It's an awesome start for a new series by this incredible author. I loved the way R L Mathewson sense of humour is ingrained into the story. Ephraim and Madison are such perfect couple. I was horrified at what happened to Ephraim in his early life. He was tortured and persecuted but he never lost his humanity. I loved how strong and loving Madison is and how brave she is. I just want to bitch slap her mom Candy *grrrr* . I loved all these characters and hope that they will all have their own stories one day. The narrative is great Stella.Bloom us perfect for the female characters but not so good as male, I don't think her voice is manly enough but it works i so far.