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The Man's Guide to Women
- Scientifically Proven Secrets from the "Love Lab" About What Women Really Want
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
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Publisher's Summary
A great "philosopher" once said, "Trying to understand women is like trying to smell the color nine." But the fact is, men can understand women to their great benefit. All they need is the right teacher. And, arguably, there is no better teacher than John Gottman, PhD, a world-renowned relationships researcher and author of the best-selling 7 Principles of Making Marriage Work.
His new book, written with wife Julie Gottman, a clinical psychologist; Doug Abrams; and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD, is based on 40 years of scientific study, much of it gleaned from the Gottmans' popular couples' workshops and the "love lab" at the University of Washington. It's written primarily for men because new research suggests that it is the man in a relationship who wields the most influence to make it great or screw it up beyond repair.
The Man's Guide to Women offers the science-based answers to the question: What do women really want in men? The book explains the hallmarks of manhood that most women find attractive and helps men hone those skills to be the men women desire.
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What listeners say about The Man's Guide to Women
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Neelesh P.
- 23-02-21
I'm keeping it!
this is one of the best books I found on audible. km definitely keeping it and listening to it again.
2 people found this helpful
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- ashutosh sinha
- 05-12-22
A must book for every men
There might not have been a single exception in man's world where they have not thought that why women behave in the way they do. I have tried every body language learning and lots of YouTube videos just to understand women and make amends with them with that knowledge but all in vain. This path I have tried for years but all in vain. But as I am married now, I desperately need this knowledge. This book has given me a ray of hope to make things right. Everything is elaborated in very simple words and easy to understand. The only problem that this book has not able to handle properly is male ego of why all efforts to be done from their side. But one thing I am saying to me on this is first plant the sapling and help it to grow, it is you only who will pluck the fruits.
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- Rohan Panse
- 02-03-21
a Goodread for a beginner
its a decent book for a begginer who wasn't into any serious relationship. it doesn't acknowledge change in role of men and women over the period in detail.
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- Pawan Kumar
- 26-05-20
content is good so far....but still..
story telling needs improvement...and related pdf images also...I think...book becomes more understandable if subtitles available
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- Anand Jadhav
- 15-04-20
More Scientific than practical
The book is more scientific than general and practical. It says what women want but not what men want. Does not show in what fields to improve and no experiences discussed. How men can be improved physically and mentally through exposure is missed out. It only shows behavioral patterns.
It doesn't not shows that girls need more than a man, a true bad boy personality with alpha traits.
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- Saiesh
- 12-11-19
Relationship book in it's entirety.
Loved that the narration wasn't a robotic one with things making sense with that human connection through the narration.Got to learn a lot about the opposite gender and got a lot of myths cleared in the head. An informative book with the actual things that matter in a relationship and not just a hooking up guide..
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- Manidev
- 14-03-19
So this is it!
what we boys(men) are searching for is right here, in this book. From start to end, you'll love this book, and some times you'll fee its so true. I will surely recommend this book to every male out there for "a tuning" with women.
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- Steve C
- 10-02-16
Great advice from the Love Lab again
If you want to develop your communication methods and create a stronger relationship, then this is an excellent choice. The term Zero and Hero are used often, and I like to think you might as well sum it up as how not to be an asshat. I was raised mostly by women and thought I had a decent grasp. This book tied together a lot of parts and pieces of the right things and behaviors floating about in my brain.
Even if you're in a good relationship you can still gain from the insights held within.
30 people found this helpful
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- J. Hardie
- 16-06-17
Condescending male feminist author
Author used the term "zero" to describe any guy that had a difference of opinion than him. He repeated this phrase so many times that I wanted to b---- slap him on many occasions. His methodology basically is to explain away and excuse any and all bad FEMALE behavior by telling you it's actually all your fault because you have a penis. I'd like to strangle this author.
26 people found this helpful
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- GREGORY D SHANNON
- 10-10-16
Is there a "woman's guide to men"?
I thought the book was incredibly insightful but after listening to it I feel waited down with an overwhelming job that can never be met. I've made uneducated attempts to accomplish these things with two prior marriages but feel that just like this book describes all time, services, resources go from men to women I would like to hear if there's some sort of balance. It also seemed to me that the more I tried to provide these suggested tasks the higher the requirement became until there was nothing left of me except a spineless man surveying an endlessly demanding woman until I needed to escape to have any vestige of a life of my own where I had some control of my time, my resources, and my own goals.
25 people found this helpful
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- Søren
- 04-02-16
A book for women not so much for men.
What would have made The Man's Guide to Women better?
Instead of just focusing on explaining the woman which apparently can and can't be explained because sometimes alle women are the same and some times all women are completely different.
Would you ever listen to anything by the authors again?
Possibly.
What three words best describe Eric Michael Summerer’s performance?
He did a good job of sounding condescending to men
What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?
Annoyance at being spoken down too most of the time. I found my self say yes, but stop talking to me like I am some sort of Neanderthal
Any additional comments?
This is a book for a self congratulating woman who like to be spoken of in the third person. I regret buying this book I got very little value out of it. The beginning was good I didn't mind what I thought was sarcasm, but as it continued on it got weary. After the way, way to short part about crazy women the book just went all in on women are wonderful no matter what. It did not make me understand women better. Rather it was a bucket list of behavior I should and should not do.
25 people found this helpful
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- Alduan Tartt, PhD
- 25-11-16
We Want to Be Heroes For Our Wives
This book was a-mazing! As men, we are expected to know how to love women correctly for life but that is impossible,in my opinion, without some serious help. How can we understand women when they are so different? I think many men learn trial by fire and by failing and not understanding why or what went wrong. This book allows us to be heroes by studying up, reading up versus giving up and has practical steps to make us more empowered in relationships. Who really wants to fail in love?
This book will help men (us) to get it right or as close to right as possible. I will recommend this guide to every male friend, relative, mentee and even future sons-in-law so they have a proven guide to make their wives happy. Thank you Gottmans and Abrams!
18 people found this helpful
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- J. Miles
- 03-01-18
ok book. not for longer married couples
first chapters give ok info. more for early in relationships not longer term married couples
17 people found this helpful
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- Andrea
- 25-04-17
Invaluable
Gottman is on his game with this one. It's not about what men do wrong, or about being ashamed of shortcomings- it's about reconciling differences and learning to be together. If you want a healthy relationship, if you want to know how healthy women operate, listen to this book for a guideline.
16 people found this helpful
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- Gordon
- 16-02-16
Not for Veterans
This book has great advice, but seems to be written with an audience in mind of those in the initial stages o my a relationship. I have been married for 7 years, though this was helpful, it was not intended for me.
16 people found this helpful
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- Fanie
- 25-01-21
Not on the right track
Supplicating to woman won’t work. Work on yourself and strive for excellence. Make yourself your point of reference and take the ones you love with you.
15 people found this helpful
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- Nutsman
- 31-03-21
Wouldn't recommend this book to my three son's.
This book would have been recommended 4 or 5 decades ago. But with all the changes to our society, I can't and won't recommend this book to any young man. I heard in this book, how men need to step up, but I see no part of society asking women to do their part. Of all the young couples I see around me, I see the men carrying most of the load. Women are filling for divorce most of the time, and with no spousal infidelity, abuse. And where are the authors telling women they need to step up. There's not. Just crickets. If you want to train your boys to be there woman's emotional diaper give them this book. Just to let you know I have a daughter that means the world to me.
14 people found this helpful
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- Trailerfitters Toolbox
- 15-11-19
There Is Nothing In This Book To Help Men.
This to me had some very critical flaws to the underlying information. It is a Walt Disney fairy tale. If men are dependable, which men really generally are, and if they listen to their partner, all will be fine.
There is an elephant in the room regarding dependable men who have done the right thing yet end up divorced raped. There is no solution presented in this in this book for men who've the right thing. Being Dependable and trustworthy but why will she try to walk all over you? No answer.
There are no negatives about women nor is this a balanced perspective. We need to know about hypergamy, we need to know why partners go and have affairs. We need to hear about power imbalances in a relationship. As men we need to know the truth about why there are so many single women out there. This is not the right book to explain it.
There are no saving graces. It's all about her and how you can put her on a pedestal. This is the wrong mentality in the first place.
I Didn't like the book or its approach. The science claims are patchy and in my opinion, one sided.
11 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 27-07-16
A good investment...
Except for perhaps one or two tips, and that it's worded like all the change or responsibility is for the man, this book is probably the best I've read (heard - thanks audible) and has many lessons. I'm sure I'll play it through a few times.
10 people found this helpful
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- Ras
- 12-02-18
brilliantly clear and informative
This book is written by academics but it is written in an entertaining non-academic manner. However, it is still highly informative and dependable on scientific knowledge based on evolutionary theory. Its coverage is great and it reads very well. I would definitely recommended this book to any man who wants to increase his understanding of women in a solid, reliable way.
3 people found this helpful
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- Rav pal
- 10-07-17
incorrect information
The 'advice' given here is incorrect to my experience. Trying to hard be politically correct, probably written by someone who doesnt get sex.
3 people found this helpful
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- Ducarta
- 05-01-21
My Eyes Have Been Opened!
This is the book I wish I had in my teens. Would have saved me a lot of mistakes but I'm glad I found it because it's never too late to learn!
1 person found this helpful
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- Phillip
- 17-12-20
Brilliant from start to finish
Such a brilliant book, I learned so much, must listen for both men and women, amazingly narrated by Eric Michael Summerer :)
1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 12-10-22
As a woman
It was fun to get to know what i want and to learn how important me and my partner are to each other.
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- Andrew Heatlie
- 25-04-22
Helpful hints for men!
This book is full of usefulness for men about that most complex conundrum; women! Their needs, their desires, their dreams. Invaluable!
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- Harry
- 21-04-22
patronising to men
a lot of the psychology seems fine but the author talks about men like they are stupid beast that are hopelessly lost and can't take care of themselves without a woman to do it for them
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- Mr. M. J. Llewellyn
- 12-12-21
Compulsory reading
Addictive, educational, humerous & surprising.
A must in your library! Addictive, educational, humerous & surprising.
A must in your library!
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- Tim
- 19-06-16
recommend
Good insight with no egotistical undertone like other books I've read. I would recommed to both qlued up and clueless men. There is both priceless nuggets of information and reassurance of what you'll already know
6 people found this helpful
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- mark sugden
- 07-02-18
quite brilliant
this is what I needed 40 years ago thank god I've got it now great book
4 people found this helpful
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- AE
- 01-03-21
Loved the advice, not the worldview
This book did a great job of answering the question it proposes to answer, that is it tells what women really want. It is informative, well written and well performed. I especially appreciated the scientific information and the research articles referenced.
I did not appreciate the worldview of evolutionary biology mostly because it made me (as a woman) feel like a labeled cross-section diagram or a bunch of equations and involuntary responses rather than a unique and created being, cherished by God and with eternal value. But I guess I can’t expect a science book to have a Judeo-Christian worldview and aside from that I enjoyed the book and found it very informative and helpful!
3 people found this helpful
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- Edward Simberg
- 05-02-20
Fun and educational
I really liked the fun, humorous tone. Most other books on dating and relationships are just dead serious.
3 people found this helpful
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- Luke
- 30-06-21
Pretty smug book in need of an update
There’s one good tip in this book, which is ‘when triggered, say you need a little time to calm down, go and take your mind off the issue, then come back when calmer to discus the matter.’ The rest of the book is pretty much man bashing and it just makes relationships sound like totally exhausting enterprises in woman worship.
2 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 08-05-21
recommend this to all my mates, 100% relatable and
great book, I will recommend this to all my friends and already also thinking about listening to it again haha
2 people found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 23-03-21
if your an incel this is the book for you.
If your an incel this will probably suit you well. if not? don't waste your token on this book.
1 person found this helpful
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- David Toporzisek
- 05-01-23
Good guide for young men entering the dating scene
Interesting book & learned about relationships with women, but the book is starting to feel a little bit dated in 2023, with little nuances for men that don't fall into traditional view of wanting sex & to not fighting more than anything else in a relationship with women.
I would recommend this book to younger men who are new to the dating scene as a starting point.
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- Marius
- 26-08-22
The book every man should read!
I loved it! please do yourself a favour and read this book! my only regret is that I didn't discover this book earlier
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- Anonymous User
- 21-06-22
Excellent, helpful and funny insights into WOMEN
Smashed this one out in under a day - spellbound. Love the simplicity, repetition and repetition that I need to drive the point home. A lot of overlap with Gottman's "How to build trust" but more engaging and humorous which appeal to me. Definitely for men like me - I'll be revisiting this one regularly.