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Publisher's Summary

A comprehensive guide to intimacy through greater self-awareness for those who want more loving, passionate, and liberating monogamous relationships. 

Intimate relationship has long been viewed and lived as a lesser alternative to spiritual life. More recently, the need to integrate our spiritual and intimate lives, rather than maintaining separate spheres and relationships on autopilot, has become increasingly apparent. Given the high rates of infidelity and divorce, it would seem that the possibilities of freedom through intimacy have not been explored in much depth. Too often we pull away when relationships become difficult, missing out on the rewards of connecting more profoundly. 

The passage from immature to mature monogamy is not only a journey of ripening intimacy with a partner, but also a journey into and through zones of ourselves that may be very difficult to accept and integrate with the rest of our being. Transformation Through Intimacy explores intimate relationships through a four-stage lens: me-centered, we-centered codependent, we-centered coindependent, and being-centered. Bringing his many years of experience as a psychotherapist and spiritual practitioner to the subject, relationship expert and integral psychoterhapist Robert Augustu Masters tells listeners not only how to navigate the thickets of reactivity, conflict, shame, anger, fear, and doubt, but how to understand them in a new light so that a deeper level of relating to oneself and one’s partner becomes possible, opening new levels of trust, commitment, and love.

©2012 Robert Augustus Masters (P)2018 Random House Audio

Critic Reviews

“I love this book! There is a depth, a magic, and a sense of ultimate fulfillment that we find through learning to love one other person completely.… This is a hero’s and a heroine’s journey; it asks everything of us, but also gives us all we have ever longed for. We need a great guide on such a journey, and Masters is such a one, walking by our side as we venture into deeper waters, finding an ever-deeper healing and freedom through awakened monogamy.” (Arjuna Ardagh, author of The Translucent Revolution)

“An illuminating and practical book about how intimate relationship can be a path for deep healing, transformation, and awakening. Masters writes with strength and precision - pay particular attention to his groundbreaking chapters on emotion and sexuality.” (Gay Hendricks, PhD, author of Five Wishes and The Big Leap)

“This is an important and tremendously useful book, packed with wisdom and insight. Highly recommended!” (Ken Wilber, author of The Integral Vision)

What listeners say about Transformation Through Intimacy, Revised Edition

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  • Basca
  • 15-02-19

Somewhat Biased, Vague?

I purchased this book looking to deepen and enrich my relationship and marriage. In many ways it was helpful. I do plan on reading other books of Dr. Robert Augustus Masters and do not want to dissuade other readers from the body of his work. However, I found it a bit difficult to get through. It was rather long winded, vague, and tainted with what appeared to be the authors personal agenda.

The author clearly states a bias for monogamous relationships referring to monogamy as the only real and true path to mature intimacy vs polyamorous as an immature and adolescent stage. His wording suggests to me that he is forming his opinions based on his experience as a counselor to a client base which is mostly traditional heterosexual married couples. This notion might hold up within the context of counseling issues of infidelity in traditional marriages in which a partner suggests polyamory to rationalize an infidelity. In this respect the label of immaturity might be justified because there has been a breach of trust, truth, or promise within the agreed upon boundaries of a relationship. However, the same labels of mature vs immature could be applied to nonconventional relationship styles.

The author fails to give the reader a comprehensive definition of polyamory and rather suggests it to be a trend over the past fifty years. Is he simplistically implying that polyamory is basically infidelity or free love from the 60s? There is no effort to mention the evolving and immensely broad scope of nontraditional or nonconforming relationships or family structures that are forming as people adapt to ever changing socioeconomic demands, values, and cultural differences.

I think this book has some good advice for traditional monogamous couples but the wording marginalizes people who’s marriages or lifetime relationships fall outside of mainstream ridged well scripted societal roles. If one staunchly believes traditional monogamy is the only true form of mature love, then like a drunk standing next to a lamp post, one can lean on the opinions in the book to support their position.

6 people found this helpful