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  • Unf*ck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs

  • The 5-minute Therapy Series
  • Written by: Faith G. Harper PhD LPC-S ACS ACN
  • Narrated by: Erin Bennett
  • Length: 2 hrs and 48 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (31 ratings)

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Unf*ck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs cover art

Unf*ck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs

Written by: Faith G. Harper PhD LPC-S ACS ACN
Narrated by: Erin Bennett
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Publisher's Summary

Boundaries are the ways we communicate our needs. They are what allow us to feel safe among strangers, in everyday interactions, and in our closest relationships. When we have healthy boundaries, we have a strong foundation in an uncertain world. And when someone crosses your boundaries, or you cross someone else’s, the result range from unsettling to catastrophic.

In this audiobook, best-selling author Dr. Faith Harper offers a full understanding of issues of boundaries and consent, how we can communicate and listen more effectively, and how to survive and move on from situations where our boundaries are violated. 

Along the way, you’ll learn when and how to effectively say “no” (and “yes”), troubleshoot conflict, and respect your own and others’ boundaries like a pro. You’ll be amazed at how much these skills improve your relationships with friends, strangers, coworkers, and loved ones.     

©2016 Dr. Faith Harper (P)2020 Blackstone Publishing

What listeners say about Unf*ck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs

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Boundaries are important part of our life.

This book help us to set boundaries. Even if we are a person who has our own boundaries and doesn’t want to disturb other people’s boundaries, without knowing we might have crossed it. This book makes us aware of that and correct ourselves.

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  • J. Herrera
  • 11-10-20

Some good points, but hard to listen to

There's some good content in this book - some points I actually wrote down for future reference. But the swear words and attempts at trendy language were completely out of place, and made the book difficult to listen to.

I also take exception to her assertion that men are the almost exclusive perpetrators of coercive control. While women may not be as physical as men, we are just as controlling as them, many times in more emotionally manipulative ways.

53 people found this helpful

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  • Megan Lavalette
  • 08-07-20

My primary book recommendation to become a boundary badass

Start here if you’re looking to better understand what boundaries are and why you need them. After reading several books already on this topic, I enjoyed the sense of humor sprinkled throughout that made me laugh out loud many times, which helps alleviate some of the heaviness around this topic too.

22 people found this helpful

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  • Debbie
  • 26-08-20

Absolutely fantastic!!!

it's short, but so much is packed in here. it really packs a punch, gives concrete examples and make excellent points. it's been a real game changer for me. what a great read!!

14 people found this helpful

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  • R. Rafii
  • 14-08-20

Skimming the surface

Very interesting, thought-provoking discussion. However, I was looking for something "meaty" and found some of the examples/stories too "fluffy" and light. I would have rather hear how she recommends applying the principles to true relationship scenarios, or how others have succeeded where setting boundaries was previously difficult.

12 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 08-05-20

life changing

seriously what a game changer. I took 15 pages of notes. why isn't everybody taught this stuff in kindergarten?

12 people found this helpful

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  • TKS
  • 09-09-20

Great read, great action points

This is a great read if you have a difficult time holding yourself accountable or feeling responsible for how others feel as a result of something you’ve said or done. There are many good pieces of information that you likely already know but, for whatever reason, you choose to ignore, that can help you to move forward in relationships.

8 people found this helpful

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  • Jimner
  • 31-08-20

Life changing, very eye opening

Boundaries are broken down to the granular and explained in details, with very awesome examples to drill in the concepts.

7 people found this helpful

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  • maria
  • 26-08-20

Fantastic

Dr. Harper you f*cking rock!
Wish I had you as my therapist... I would be a baddie!

7 people found this helpful

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  • KRS
  • 07-10-20

Loved unf*ck your brain was having issues with boundaries

Faith has done such a good job at explaining in an easy to read/listen to book. I thoroughly enjoyed and recommended unf*ck your brain and was just as thrilled with this book. My degree is in communications so I have found it difficult throughout the years within my relationships to effectively communicate with others who do not have the same skill set. Ive had to take a step back and be patient and understanding. These books are a great resource (not long or complicated) to convey to others when they are over stepping my boundaries or even when I see that they are permeable themselves. It’s easier to illicit advice in the form of a book other than try to explain concepts for hours that are taken personally instead of helpful. Thank you and I look forward to reading and recommending more of your straight forward and funny at times books!

6 people found this helpful

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  • Starlight Rose
  • 21-07-20

Must Read

I am going to buy several copies of this in physical form and give them away as gifts to family members who I know have struggled their whole lives with people pleasing. Great read.

6 people found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 11-01-23

A great way to reasses how you think

This book helped me address my own actions which had previously hurt others. It gives space for growth and development and handles important, difficult subject matter with copious swearing.

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  • Daniela Benedetti Font
  • 11-01-23

Shit and fuck !!!

Those are the most used words on this book. The world is already overloaded with that I don’t need any more. Boundaries are setting with live and kindness there is no need for that kind of vocabulary

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  • Frederico Ferreira
  • 05-01-23

Not worth the time

Really bad not worth the time spent !!! To much swearing too! It’s a big pile of…

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  • D Correia
  • 28-12-22

Way too much swearing

Would be great if there wasnt too much swearing in every second sentence. Very distracting and devalues the information

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  • babigirljay
  • 22-12-22

Great! despite the title

I hate swearing so was going to bypass this book and would have if I had to pay for it. Thankfully it was included in my membership this month. I'm so glad I gave it a chance despite the title.

An Insightful explainations and great tips and tools.
I particularly loved the grounding exer

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  • Emily
  • 21-12-22

Useful and empowering

Makes you think in a different way, I feel like I want to re-listen to this soon.

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  • Jayden
  • 15-12-22

Fantastic book!

Easy to listen too, made a tough topic enjoyable to learn about.

Recommended and will listen to it again and will get the workbook.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 04-12-22

perpetuating a horrible narrative

Painfully fake American with a nasty smell of over-wokeism.
I think if this author is a fair person they'd state that "some humans" cross boundaries rather than elevating certain groups and demonising others. As a cis het (hate that I have to announce my in-group) woman who's had boundaries crossed by humans that fit in several "groups" its not helpful to demonise groups and elevate others...super triggering 🤨
The swearing was embarassing like someone trying to be down with the kids🙄
Think it probably contained some really useful learning, but challenging to find it among the cringy unfair narrative.

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  • Rhi
  • 04-12-22

Well worth sticking with - useful and enlightening

Initially I nearly gave up after the first five minutes as the narration is quite jarringly deliberate. But after a while I got used to it and found the subject matter interesting and really quite useful.
Even if you only take away one thing from listening, I would say it’s 3 hours well spent. Whether that’s learning about your own boundaries or the boundaries of others. Glad I pushed through the initial discomfort of the narration (note this might just be because I’m in the UK). Diction was clear and easy to understand though, so certainly usable.

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  • richard2
  • 23-11-22

Truly appalling and cringingly American

Whether or not this book contains anything worth listening to is debatable - but the manner of its writing and the way it’s delivered is so off putting that I’m amazed anyone has accepted it. Not just the bad language which is used indiscriminately and ineffectually, but the faux ‘we’re all pals’ style is quite sickening. In other words THIS BOOK IS …. !

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 10-10-22

Brief and directed towards women

Brief, directed at women & implies men aren't also victims of abuse, still valuable insights.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Jamie
  • 01-05-22

Unhelpful and irritating

When I first heard about this book, I was so excited but I found the narrator's accent a little too nasal and grating for my taste.

The author seems to have peppered this book with swearwords arbitrarily. They are used so much that they eventually lose their power and impact. This lazy style implies a low vocabulary and I found it difficult to ignore.

The author also seems to have lost the use of basic English too, substituting words such as 'really', or 'very' with words like 'crazy', which makes little sense.

These were deal breakers, so it's just one star from me, I'm afraid.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 22-08-20

fucking great read

Really helpful and relatable content. 100% recommend to those who have issues with boundaries. vibes.

1 person found this helpful

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  • M.P
  • 20-01-23

Very left political text masquerading as self help

Let’s be honest, if you read a dozen or two Self help books they are pretty much the same with a different slant.
I was looking for a new perspective on boundaries. However, it was clear the authors intention was to promote her politics.
Cisgender this / males are bad that - really disappointed!
I’m lucky it was free, but I want my time back!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 19-01-23

A Must Read!!

Absolutely loved listening to this audio and will listen to it quite a few times more! Jam packed with 'real life' talk that finally gave me an understanding of 'why' I respond, react, and behave the way I do. I have learnt a great deal about the brain, sympathetic nervous system, personality, communication and attachment styles, and strategies to action to move forward with healthy boundaries.

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  • Mary Wesvin-tod
  • 15-12-22

Yes! Get This Book

So much good stuff in here, I've done boundaries work before but this helped me look at it in a while different way. The author is very good at what she does and that comes across in the book. Her work is accessible as well and that makes it a huge winner for me.

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  • B Trewick
  • 30-11-22

Like listening to your grandmother swear. Weird.

The book seems to have good content but the voice is completely mismatched for the language. The tone of the reader really takes away from the experience of the down to earth language and doesn't have the desired effect. it makes me cringe rather than feel more comfortable.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 27-11-22

Changing the world, one behaviour at a time

Fantastic insights into our inner beings and those we love and interact with through our lives.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 12-11-22

Very helpful

I found this book extremely helpful. I like that it wasn't written in a way that only other theraists or intellects would understand. The strategies at the end are very practical. I appreciate the authors work.

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  • Kris
  • 07-11-22

love it

love it! I don't know why I just love books thanks we are in them