We're taking you back in time! This episode originally aired in December 2023 on Emily's podcast, Room to Grow as we unpacked two of the patterns of over-functioning that can show up in relationship and keep us from true intimacy. Longtime Room to Grow listeners may recognize these archetypes from an earlier, more playfully named episode.

It’s tempting to want to play the role of “superhero” in a relationship – the guardian, the savior, the teacher, or the fixer. But over-prioritizing their needs over your own often has a villainous effect on a healthy relationship. Because if all of your focus is on their safety, wellbeing and nurturing, you then neglect what’s more important – your own. And over-functioning for someone else often creates power imbalances that quietly erode intimacy.

In this episode, we unpack two common over-functioning archetypes that show up in relationships:

• The Savior/Fixer, who feels most valuable when rescuing or healing a partner
• The Improver, who over-invests in helping a partner “level up” while neglecting her own needs

We explore why these dynamics form, how they impact desire and polarity, and what it actually looks like to prioritize yourself without abandoning your relationship.

In this episode, we're talking about:

• Why men often want to feel like a “savior” in a relationship
• Power dynamics in relationships
• Why women often put aside their own needs in a relationship
• How to balance giving and receiving in a relationship
• Expanding your sense of self in a relationship
• Waiting to be chosen by someone
• How prioritizing yourself first contributes to a better relationship
• Managing sexual energy inside and outside your relationship
• Including your partner in your life
• How to make your partner feel chosen

Stay tuned for more episodes weekly, including some upcoming episodes that truly help you get to the root cause behind so many relational patterns to help you heal and open to real love.

Connect with Us

Work with Emily and Kelly for Couples Coaching

Connect with Emily on IG @emilygoughcoach

Connect with Kelly on IG @iamkellygardner

Leave a Review

If this conversation resonated, please share it with someone you love and leave a review wherever you listen. It helps this podcast reach more people who are ready to practice love...and that's what the world needs most right now.