As a young parent I heard the phrase "relationship over rules." As a young parent I heard the phrase “relationship over rules” as it pertained to parenting.

This idea encouraged me that the whole reason for having a rule or boundary was to protect and love my child. Authoritarian parenting was about me feeling in control, showing up from fear, and/or avoiding doing my own emotional regulation work.

We can also think of ‘relationship over rules’ in terms of our relationship and friendship with ourselves. No matter what, safety and compassion need to come first. Without safety we cannot grow, heal, or learn. And we deserve kindness always, no matter what.

We are always simply practicing – always in progress. And life is always changing. No matter how hard we work or how wonderful our life plans, we'll go through days or seasons when we need to flex and adapt due to illness, lower energetic capacity, or other unexpected circumstances.

This idea of relationship over rules reminds us that our self-imposed rules and boundaries are there to serve us. Not the other way around. So when life doesn't go according to plan, don't tip into judging and criticizing. Be adaptable. Take good care of yourself. Be on your own side, always, no matter what.

Join me for the free Befriend Yourself Workshop, March 24 or 25: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/befriend-yourself-workshop/

Have you ever tackled a decluttering project in your home? What motivated this decision? How did it feel once you got the extra stuff out of your life?

Decluttering our inner lives is just as important. But it can feel even more vulnerable than letting go of physical things. Learning to let go of old stories and patterns that no longer serve us is brave and stretching. And it is essential for an intentional, values-aligned, soul-honouring life.

For fun, I use a blog post by Jennifer Burger to walk you through some of the powerful benefits of decluttering both externally and internally.

Resources

6 Powerful Benefits of Decluttering Your Home + Life by Jennifer Burger: https://www.simplyfiercely.com/benefits-of-decluttering/

Rewilding in Midlife: Say Yes To Becoming Your True Self (get the free training): https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/rewilding/

So many midlife women approach their healing and growth work from the root belief that they are not good enough, they are bad, wrong, or broken, or that they need to find a "fix" outside of themselves. And then they will feel kinder to themselves, more at peace, or everything in life will fall into place.

All this does is reinforce your old self-protective patterns and gives you more of the same. More of what is NOT working for you.

If you want to create loving, positive, healthy, sustainable change in your life, in your relationships, in your relationship with yourself, then you need to change a fundamental belief.

You don't need fixing. You are already whole.

You don't need to do better and be better. You need to BE your True Self and learn how to BE on your own side.

In this episode I walk you through a process of growth and becoming that I call Old Self - New Self - True Self.

Women arrive at my work at the New Self phase. I take them through this vulnerable, messy stage of becoming and help them meet and befriend their True Self. This is where they learn to lead from their Wise, Healthy, Brilliant Self more and more of the time.

The New Self phase is hard work. It's important to know that and normalize it. You will need to shed, strip away, question, decondition... and this can feel unmooring and destabilizing at first.

But - this is also where freedom and joy really begin to grow in your life.

You learn to receive what you truly want and need. You learn to be on your own side and really trust yourself. You learn to pause between impulse and response. You learn how to be with discomfort and show up through it vs quitting or hiding under the covers. And you put down deep, hardy roots of self-awareness and self-compassion.

If there is a part of you that recognizes a desire to say YES to more freedom and joy and self-kindness, then after listening to this episode, I invite you to listen to a free training about Rewilding in Midlife.

Rewilding in Midlife: Say Yes To Becoming Your True Self. Get the free training: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/rewilding/

Or if you are ready to work with me, reach out and we can book a free 25 minute call: https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/schedule-a-free-chat/