WHY IT'S SO HARD: LEARNING TO ACTUALLY FEEL YOUR FEELINGS

Someone once told me to "just feel your feelings." And I remember thinking: I don't even know what that means.

If you've spent your whole life avoiding emotions, that advice is useless.

In this episode, we get real about why feeling your feelings is so hard, what happens when you avoid emotions for too long, and practical steps to start when you have no idea where to begin.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why most of us weren't taught how to feel our feelings (we learned to suppress, ignore, or perform them)

- How childhood emotional invalidation teaches you that your emotions are wrong

- The messages we received: "stop crying," "you're too sensitive," "calm down," "don't be dramatic"

- What emotional suppression costs you: physical health, authentic relationships, mental well being, decision-making clarity

- Why emotions are information, not problems (what each emotion is trying to tell you)

- The difference between feeling your feelings and drowning in them

- The "window of tolerance" concept and why you need to pace yourself

- 5 practical steps to start feeling your emotions:

1. Notice your body (where emotions show up physically)

2. Name the feeling (using tools like feelings wheels when you're stuck)

3. Allow it to be there (without fixing, numbing, or performing)

4. Get curious about what it's telling you

5. Get support (therapy, trusted people, communities)

- Personal experiences with learning to feel after years of suppression

- Why this is one of the most fundamental skills for healing

- How to start small when emotions feel overwhelming

This isn't about becoming more emotional or crying all the time. It's about learning to be with your emotions instead of running from them. Because you can't heal what you won't feel.

If you've been told to "feel your feelings" and had no idea how to actually do that, this episode gives you the practical framework to begin.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Learning to feel your feelings? Share your questions, stories, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit alottogrowthrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: alottogrowthrough.com

Business Inquires: contact@alottogrowthrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you understand how to start feeling your feelings, please leave a rating and review. It helps others who need this practical guidance find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This episode discusses emotional suppression, childhood invalidation, trauma responses, and mental health topics. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

Mindfulness has become a buzzword. It's on apps, in corporate wellness programs, in every self-help book.

But what does it actually mean? And why does it matter for healing?

In this episode, we cut through the noise and get real about mindfulness; What it is beyond sitting on a meditation cushion, why it's essential for trauma recovery, and practical ways to practice presence in daily life.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- What mindfulness actually is: paying attention to the present moment, on purpose, without judgment

- Why mindfulness ≠ meditation (and how you can be mindful while washing dishes, walking, eating)

- The 4 reasons mindfulness matters for healing (grounding from past/future, processing emotions, building distress tolerance, interrupting automatic patterns)

- How trauma keeps you stuck in past or future; Rarely in the present where you have agency

- What present moment awareness actually feels like (noticing your body, environment, thoughts)

- Why traditional mindfulness doesn't always work for trauma survivors

- Adapted mindfulness practices for people with trauma histories (external focus, movement-based, eyes open, short sessions)

- Practical daily mindfulness exercises: mindful breathing, body scans, grounding techniques, mindful eating, walking meditation

- How to practice when sitting still feels impossible or unsafe

- Why presence creates the pause where healing happens

- Building distress tolerance: learning "I can be with this without escaping"

This isn't about clearing your mind or achieving some zen state. It's about being present in your actual life even when it's messy, uncomfortable, or overwhelming.

If you've been told to "just meditate" and felt like mindfulness wasn't for you, this episode will give you practical, accessible ways to practice presence that work for real people dealing with real challenges.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

How do you practice presence? Share your questions, stories, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit ALotToGrowThrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: ALotToGrowThrough.com

Business Inquires: contact@alottogrowthrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped demystify mindfulness for you, please leave a rating and review. It helps others discover practical approaches to presence.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This podcast discusses trauma, dissociation, and mental health topics. Mindfulness practices discussed are adapted for trauma survivors but may still be activating for some listeners.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.

Change is constant. And yet, every time it happens, it feels destabilizing.

Even good changes—getting married, having a baby, landing your dream job, moving to a new city—come with grief and uncertainty. Because change requires letting go. And most of us are terrible at letting go.

In this episode, we get real about why life transitions feel so hard, what makes the in-between so uncomfortable, and how to navigate change without losing yourself in the process.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why change feels destabilizing even when it's objectively positive

- The 4 reasons we resist change (uncertainty, identity shifts, attachment, avoidance)

- Why your brain treats change as a threat—even when it's opportunity

- The hidden truth: every transition includes loss

- How to grieve what you're losing while moving toward what's next

- Why positive changes (marriage, parenthood, dream jobs) still come with grief

- The concept of "loss aversion" and why losing feels bigger than gaining

- How to navigate the in-between without rushing to certainty

- What transitions invite you toward (not toxic positivity—agency)

- Why you don't have to have it all figured out

- How to hold both grief and growth simultaneously

This isn't about "embracing change" or finding silver linings. It's about understanding what's actually happening when your life shifts—and giving yourself permission to feel all of it.

If you're in the middle of a transition and feeling unmoored, uncertain, or like you've lost yourself this episode will help you make sense of what you're experiencing.

Change doesn't let you stay comfortable. And that's exactly the point.

SUBMIT YOUR STORY OR QUESTION:

Are you navigating a life transition? Share your story, questions, or reflections. Send written letters or voice messages to letters@alottogrowtrough.com or visit ALotToGrowThrough.com

CONNECT WITH A LOT TO GROW THROUGH:

Website: ALotToGrowThrough.com

RATE & REVIEW:

If this episode helped you understand what you're going through during transition, please leave a rating and review. It helps others navigating change find their way here.

CONTENT ADVISORY: This podcast discusses life transitions, loss, grief, uncertainty, and emotional challenges. Please practice self-care while listening.

A Lot To Grow Through is a podcast about real healing, real conversations, and no filter. Hosted by Artis Desjardins, this is a space for thoughtful conversations on healing, growth, and the art of becoming. Here, you'll understand you have to grow through it, not just go through it.