This is the absurd tale of the second king of Persia, Cambyses, who was known for starting the Persian navy, conquering Egypt, and being incredibly insane. Or, perhaps that's not the full story. Eventually, every incompetent fool in power has it taken from him, but in this case we get a rare historical example of a truly functional leader taking his place... after some shenanigans.

This is the story of one of the most important men in history, who a lot of people have never even heard of. Cyrus The Great was... Great, and his story is too.

There is a lot going on in this episode.

Maybe I'll re write this someday to explain that, but i got stuff to do right now, so just listen to it. It's a great story.

Thanks, Wilson King.

Assyria was truly a charming civilization. After almost half a century of their brutal domination of every civilization they made contact with, they finally got a tummy ache, so everyone went to Assyria to return their hospitality.

Remember the last episode where i talked about how the Assyrians were a bunch of violent nutjobs? Yeah, they kept doing that for quite a while. A lot of big picture developments happen in this episode though, so... listen to it.

It's so cool to not live in times like the one in this episode.

Thanks for listening, grow some cabbages! <3

In this episode, we set the stage for the next series of events in western-ish history, which all kind of hatches out of Mesopotamia. There's a new main character civilization for a while, the Assyrians, but they're more of a super villain. Somehow the actions of this brutal culture you've probably barely heard of led to those Greek and Persian wars that make great movies, and later, the story of Alexander the Great. Somehow all of that kinda-sorta led to the foundation of western civilization, so if none of this ever happened, Hotel California never would have been written.

Thanks for listening!

Good Gods, this one took some work. But, good things take work, and this story is Awesome. This is (mostly) the story of the Trojan War, which actually has a lot more to it than the giant wooden horse. there's romance, violence, horrors beyond our modern comprehension, and a lot of dubious involvement of Olympian gods. It's a pretty excellent story, which i tried to make as easily consumable as i could for you, dear listener.

Then there's the relatively hazy story of the Bronze Age Collapse, which is also quite interesting. If it's relatable, it's in a different way than the story of Troy.

All and all, it's about two and a half hours long... So:

Part One: The Absurdly Complex, But Entertaining Backstory, starts at: 7:40

Part Two: Kidnapping Royalty Is A Bad Idea, starts at: 33:55

Part Three: The Trojan War, starts at: 53:17

Part Four: The Only Fate Is Tragedy, starts at: 1:19:24

Part Five: Only A Fool Fights Fair, starts at: 1:42:26

Part Six: The Bronze Age Collapse, starts at: 2:01;50

Yes, it's a long one, but it's a good one, and the season finale of the bronze age. Hope you like it!

With Love,

Wilson King

This is the penultimate conclusion to this season, the A.D.D. History of "the cradle of civilization." In this episode, we tie up the messy and intertwined stories of the Egyptians and the biblical narrative, as far as I'm going with both of them. By the end, we leave Egypt at the dawn of The New Kingdom, and the descendants of Jacob with a new homeland.

It's one crazy story, and i couldn't tell you if it's true, but that's what fun about really ancient history, we can never really know.

Thanks for listening!

Wilson King.