We finally hit record again and immediately derail into Halloween chaos, Christmas lights, the Montreal Cognitive Assessment, dyslexia, British lit trauma and the eternal question: what is the actual average height and, uh, you know. It's peak Absinthe Fathers energy — dumb quizzes, sincere dad-life and bits that go way too far and somehow land anyway.

Andy gifts Kyle a children’s book with a very unfortunate title — “My Owner Beats Me” — and what follows is an unhinged, dramatic reading of a not-so-innocent dog story. From colon cleanse disasters to grocery shopping meltdowns, allergic cats and kids’ side hustles, the guys spiral into a mix of bodily regrets, domestic chaos and nostalgic dad talk.

Plus, they try (and fail) to call their friend Cameron on his birthday, reminisce about Bo Burnham’s Inside and plot Andy’s midlife drift-car phase. It’s another wild, too-honest night with the Absinthe Fathers.

Streamer chaos meets dad-life confessions. Andy and Kyle welcome their internet-degenerate friend Jordan for a rapid-fire hang about Twitch culture (subs vs. bits, “F***ed Up Friday,” Rocket League humbling), the cursed “six seven” meme invading elementary schools, and whether spanking actually works (spoiler: no). We also get Andy’s unbelievable armored-car “marksmanship” story and a P. Diddy trivia game that goes completely off the rails. It’s unfiltered, funny, occasionally heartfelt, and very… Absinthe Fathers.

Guest: Jordan — nightly Twitch streamer and Rocket League masochist. Check him out at twitch.tv/jrdnnofficial