Will the clever slave Dexter (Palaestrio) succeed in outsmarting the self-absorbed, narcissistic, self-proclaimed war hero Major Blowhard (Pyrgopolynices), so that the mostly incompetent, lovable, lovelorn young man Nauticles (Pleusicles) can rescue the young girl he loves, Convivia (Philocomasium), from the Major's lecherous clutches in time, and spirit her back to Athens with possessions secured? Or, will it all fall apart due to a mere meddling monkey (Monkey) running along a rooftop, who gets spotted by dunderbrain Haplus (Sceledrus)? As the guys wrap up their first foray into Plautine comedy, tune in and find out. And, be sure to listen for the secret code word so you can win a free copy of the of the Berg & Parker translation of Plautus and Terence: Five Comedies, courtesy of Hackett, and thus grow your libaby. There's something for everyone!

This week the guys make their first foray into Roman Comedy, specifically Plautus and one of his best-known plays, Miles Gloriosus (“Major Blowhard”). After a brief digression on Doestoevsky (не спрашивай), Dave and Jeff dig into the particulars of Greek New Comedy, its influence on Roman comic poets like Plautus and Terence, as well as the challenges faced and license needed to translate such works accurately, but also make them hit for modern audiences. And then, into the play—it’s got everything: narcissistic jackanapes, sponging schnorrers, longing lovers, secret tunnels, meddling gods, and even some pirates thrown in for good measure. If you like bombast, verbal fireworks, and insouciant inanity, this ones for you. Don't forget to tune in to win a free copy of the Berg & Parker translation of Plautus and Terence: Five Comedies. Listen for the secret code word.

This one's for all you autodidacts: if you have questions about any aspect of Greco-Roman antiquity, have trouble distinguishing between Phylas and Phrynichus, and are not sure where to turn when you are tearing through an ancient text and get stumped by some unfamiliar term, we've got you covered. This week Jeff and Dave walk us through the fascinating landscape of the most famous classical encyclopedias: Pauly Wissowa, Der Kleine Pauly, Der Neue Pauly, the CHCL (and how it differs from the CAH), and of course, the master map of classical scholarship, L'Année philologique. And in the second half, we explore the history and usefulness of that great granddaddy of them all, the Oxford Classical Dictionary, starting with the 1st ed. and extending to the 4th, digital form it now inhabits. So from Abacus to Zosimus, from Nichomachus to ancient gesturing, the Nerd is strong in this one. And, don't miss FlexCalls.com.

In the Athenian criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime (and who didn't exist) and the district attorneys (there were none of these either), who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories. Dun dun.

This week the guys take a close look, complete with dramatic reading of a cross-examination, at the rough-and-tumble world of late 5th century Athens and her notorious cutthroat law courts. On the menu is Against Eratosthenes, the most famous oration of Lysias, a resident alien (metic), who became wealthy as a hired gun speechwriter (logographer). Following the end of the Peloponnesian War, Sparta installed a brief and brutal aristocratic regime known as the Thirty Tyrants. These ruffians proceeded to murder many metics, including Lysias' brother Polemarchus (their father Kephalus makes a favorable cameo in Plato's Republic). Now, Lysias impeaches one of those tyrants, Eratosthenes, in a bid to get justice for his dead brother. Can he use his lean, unadorned style, and brilliant character portrayal (ethopoeia) to balance the scales?

Also: Celebrate Rome's birthday today! Use coupon code ROME2779 at latinperdiem.com for 20% off any Latin class.

This week the guys dip back into Marrou, where the author pivots like Yaxel Lendeborg to the Roman side of things. H.I. takes up the "Old Roman Education". Immediately we notice realities that put the lie to the loose notion that the Romans just took from the Greeks and changed the names. While, yes, eventually much of Roman education merges with the Hellenistic ideals explored earlier (and later) tome-wise, at its root, Roman education was fundamentally a different enterprise. Much more than the Greeks, the Roman centered their approach around tradition, the state, and the family. Mos maiorum reigned supreme. The “noble peasant” ideal (even if later on you lived in a high-rise next to the Colosseum and sipped cocktails with your Greek besties) is there at the beginning and never fully disappears. The chief lesson? Even if you show up with an army of Volsci ready to overthrow the state, you still gotta listen to your momma.

"There are the life events that have been apportioned to you. Live in harmony with them. There are the people whose destiny is to live at the same time as you. Love them. (Make sure you really feel it.)" (Meditations 6.39) This week Jeff and Dave sit down with Aaron Poochigian – experienced translator, poet, and all-around Classics enthusiast – to discuss his new translation from W.W. Norton of the Meditations (ad se ipsum) of the Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius (r. 161-180). Stoicism is on the menu, as well as great nuggets of advice like "don't let yourself be Caesarified. It can happen". And, "be careful not to wear royal attire at home". What can Marcus, who never intended his private ruminations to be published, teach us about suffering, wisdom, fear of death, and more? Tune in to hear from this fascinating author, transmitted through an equally fascinating interpreter.

Ok, AdNaserinos, you have slogged your way through 214 episodes of this humble podcast, patiently enduring many digressions, running gags, and inside jokes. You have also heard the hosts gush over the wit and brilliance of Publius Ovidius Naso, and the many vignettes mined from his Metamorphoses. For this Gurgle, Dave and Jeff take a quick bite of an important article from the journal Phoenix, Winter 1959, by G.B. Riddehough. Citing Ovid's "wonderful power of differentiation", Riddehough seeks to connect the dots between the endless changes into birds, bears (no beets), fish, and other bestial creepy crawlies that fill the pages of this most unconventional epic. What themes emerge? When a human being takes on fins, scales, feathers, or fangs, does he retain his core identity, a man trapped in an animal's body? Or is there something else that's happening? What does it mean to be quintessentially human, to possess humanities? And what happens when that is ripped away? For keen interpretive insight on Ovid, this is one you don't want to miss.

This week Jeff and Dave zero in on the neoteric poetry of the Roman Republic's waning days. Relying on the efforts of the late great Peter Green (of "brackish tang" fame) and his 2005 translation and commentary on the Catullan canon, the guys look at poems 1 (to Cornelius Nepos), 13 (to Fabullus), and 14 (to Calvus). What is it that drives a poet of apparently trivial interests? Is it love? Revenge? Boredom? And are these interests really so trivial, or do they hide deeper and more significant themes? Along the way you can learn about the labor limae (endless work of revision), cow-eyed Clodia (Catullus' Lesbia), that Dave can't count, and how to make the feet in your line of poetry go all the way to 11 (hendecasyllabics). Finally, once you olfactory learners get a whiff of this particular episode, you'll beg the gods to make you one giant nose!