Not all support looks like what you think it does.

In this episode of After The Fall: After Dark, I sit down with Paul Reeve, CEO of Cornwall Mind, for a grounded, honest conversation about what mental health recovery actually looks like — beyond labels, beyond quick fixes, and beyond the idea that someone else can “fix” you.

This isn’t theory.

This is how it really works.

From Paul’s own journey through burnout and rebuilding, to leading one of the most important mental health organisations in the region, we explore what support truly means — and why recovery is something you have to take ownership of, even when you’re being helped.

We break down how Mind operates, the difference between national and local services, and the reality behind funding, access, and expectations.

More importantly, we talk about people.

The human side of support.
The misconceptions that stop people reaching out.
And the simple truths that actually make a difference.

If you’ve ever felt unsure about asking for help — or expected someone else to fix things for you — this episode will shift your perspective and help remove the uncertainty about getting support from this wonderful organisation and those like it.

What we cover:

• What mental health “recovery” really means
• Why support doesn’t mean being fixed
• The role of self-agency in getting better
• How organisations like Mind actually operate
• The biggest misconceptions about mental health services
• Why community, connection, and activity matter
• The reality of funding and service limitations
• Why early support for children is critical

00:00 – Introduction
After Dark format and meeting Paul Reeve

01:00 – Paul’s Personal Journey
From struggling himself to entering mental health work

03:30 – Frontline Work and Burnout
Compassion fatigue and stepping into leadership

05:30 – Understanding “Mind”
National vs local Mind and how the system works

08:30 – What Recovery Actually Means
Why mental health isn’t “fixed vs broken”

10:30 – Ownership and Self-Agency
Why no one can do the work for you

12:30 – Group-Based Support
Why activity-led environments work better than expected

15:00 – One-to-One Support
Coaching models and building independence

17:00 – Misconceptions About Services
Why people expect to be “fixed”

20:00 – Funding and Limitations
The reality behind what services can provide

21:30 – Meaningful Impact Moments
What real success looks like inside the service

25:00 – If Funding Was Unlimited
Why investing in children matters most

26:30 – The Reading Room
A safe space for connection, community, and conversation

30:30 – Final Message: Be Kinder
A simple principle that changes everything

Paul Reeve is the CEO of Cornwall Mind, part of the wider Mind network supporting mental health across the UK. His work focuses on community-based recovery, self-agency, and building support systems that empower people to move forward.

Not all damage is visible.

In this episode of After The Fall Show, I’m joined by Jodi Pavlock, who shares her lived experience of surviving narcissistic relationships — and what it really means to lose your identity inside them.

From love bombing and control to isolation and emotional erosion, this conversation explores how narcissistic abuse develops, why it’s so hard to see while you’re in it, and what it actually takes to break free.

Jodi speaks openly about the reality behind these relationships — the confusion, the self-doubt, the trauma bonding — and the difficult process of rebuilding yourself once you walk away.

This isn’t a polished or perfect story. It’s a real one.

If you’ve ever questioned yourself in a relationship, felt like you were losing who you are, or struggled to understand why leaving isn’t as simple as it sounds — this conversation will resonate.

• The early signs of narcissistic behaviour
• Love bombing, control, and identity erosion
• Trauma bonding and emotional addiction
• Why leaving isn’t the “easy fix” people think
• Hitting rock bottom and rebuilding from it
• Finding your value again after losing yourself

00:00 – Introduction
Setting the scene: narcissism, identity, and survival

00:20 – Life Before Awareness
Who Jodi was before recognising something was wrong

01:00 – Early Signs of Narcissism
Love bombing, control, and subtle criticism

03:15 – The “Sniff Test”
Key warning signs people often miss early on

05:20 – Identity Loss & Control
How narcissists strip away self-worth

06:50 – When It Starts Getting Worse
The shift from charm to consistent devaluation

08:30 – Public vs Private Abuse
How behaviour escalates and becomes visible

11:20 – Danger & Escalation
Moments where things cross into real risk

13:00 – The Breaking Point
When leaving becomes inevitable

16:30 – Trauma Bonding Explained
Why it feels like addiction, not just love

19:10 – Recovery Isn’t Instant
The reality after leaving — rock bottom first

22:30 – Rebuilding Life
Writing the book, finding direction again

24:00 – Can Narcissists Change?
The truth about personality vs hope

25:45 – Advice for Others
What to watch for and how to protect yourself

27:00 – Finding Your Value Again
Identity, growth, and moving forward

Jodi Pavlock is the author of Jekyll Can’t Hide, a book based on her lived experience with narcissistic abuse and recovery.
Book Link:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Jekyll-Cant-Hyde-Jodi-Pavlock-ebook/dp/B0DQ973ZFQ

You don’t lose your value.
Sometimes it just gets buried under someone else’s control.
But it is still your's to own and there is life after survival.

What happens when a child is told they are broken before life has even properly begun?

In this episode of After The Fall Show, I sit down with Ellen Busch for a powerful conversation about dyslexia, bullying, low self-worth, trauma, healing, and what it means to rebuild a life after being written off by the systems meant to support you.

Ellen shares how her dyslexic journey began in childhood, how the education system underestimated her, and how those early messages shaped her confidence, identity, and sense of worth for years to come. We talk about being treated as less than, surviving school while carrying labels that were never truly yours, and the long shadow those experiences can cast across adult life.

But this episode is not just about dyslexia in school.

It is also about what happens later, when low self-esteem becomes a doorway for harmful people, toxic relationships, and deeper emotional damage. Ellen opens up about stalkers, narcissistic abuse, reaching a breaking point, and the surrender moment that began her journey back to herself.

We also explore healing, self-discovery, the five-mountain approach to growth, and how recovery can move beyond survival into something stronger — a life of confidence, purpose, and thriving.

In this episode we explore:

- dyslexia and childhood school experiences

- bullying, shame, and being written off early

- low self-worth and long-term emotional impact

- predators, narcissistic abuse, and survival

- surrender, recovery, and rebuilding confidence

- self-discovery, healing, and thriving after trauma

- why dyslexia can also be a strength

If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, underestimated, or made to believe you were less than you really are, this episode will speak to you.

Follow After The Fall Show for more raw conversations about falling apart, rebuilding, and rising again.

If you have a powerful story and feel it could help someone else, visit www.AfterTheFallShow.com to find out more about becoming a guest.

To learn more about Icarus, his personal journey, and the Street Therapy approach to recovery, resilience, and personal change, visit www.streettherapy.co.uk

For daily content, reflection, and motivation, follow Icarus on TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@Icarus_Works_UK

To follow Ellen why not visit her website www.ellenbusch.com and her book is available at all major book resellers.

00:00 Introduction

00:48 Ellen’s early dyslexia journey

01:21 Diagnosed young and written off by school

03:33 Intelligence ignored and confidence damaged

04:41 Dyslexia in schools then and now

07:02 What dyslexia felt like inside

08:20 Bullying, shame, and being treated as less than

10:34 Separate classrooms and being marked as different

11:16 The moment life had to change

12:15 Low self-worth, predators, and narcissistic abuse

13:18 Reaching surrender point

15:54 What people get wrong about recovery

16:36 Surrender, survival, and refusing to quit

19:10 Why healing cannot be done alone

20:56 The five-mountain healing journey

23:53 Healing the whole self

25:55 Writing the book and sharing the message

28:29 Striving, reviving, and thriving

29:25 The feather question

30:33 Where to find Ellen and her book

32:11 Closing reflections on dyslexia as a strength