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All Things Conflict

All Things Conflict

Written by: Maria Arpa MBE
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Who doesn't have conflict in their lives? Whether at work, at home or somewhere out in the world we are all affected by conflict even when it is indirect. The impact of poorly managed conflict can devastate lives. With 30 years’ experience mediating conflict and training peacemakers, Maria has held people’s hearts through everything from workplace hostility, board room battles, belligerent teenagers, separated parents at loggerheads to neighbours at war, street gang rivalries, threats to life and business deals gone wrong. In this podcast Maria lifts the lid on why we fight and how we can resolve conflict and design it out of our lives. Maria’s mission is to reduce unnecessary human suffering through conscious awareness, facilitated dialogue and trauma healing, using her communications tool, the Dialogue Road Map. Economics Management Management & Leadership Parenting Relationships Social Sciences
Episodes
  • The Crime of Punishment: Why Retaliation Fails and Connection Heals With Robin Shohet

    The Crime of Punishment: Why Retaliation Fails and Connection Heals With Robin Shohet
    May 26 2026
    In this thought-provoking episode of All Things Conflict, Maria Arpa welcomes back Robin Shohet, a leading expert on supervision in the helping professions, to explore the deep-seated societal urge to punish. They deconstruct why we are so invested in punitive systems that we know, pragmatically, do not work. The conversation moves from the "short, sharp shock" of the criminal justice system to the personal "urge to punish" in our own relationships. Robin and Maria explore how the addiction to "being right" destroys intimacy and how moving toward a restorative, connected way of living can actually decrease litigation and increase healing. Key Takeaways The Pragmatism of Punishment: Robin argues that punishment is often a "crime" in itself because it fails to correct behavior and ignores the societal contributions to crime. The "Short, Sharp Shock" Trap: Society often chooses dramatic, quick punishments to avoid the depth of emotions and trauma that real justice requires. Honesty vs. Lawsuits: Evidence from the healthcare industry shows that when professionals admit mistakes, suing rates actually go down, proving that people value truth over retaliation. The Addiction to Being Right: The need to be "right" is identified as a major barrier to human connection, as it forces us to label others and protect our separate identities. Criminal Justice as Alienation: Traditional systems are often designed to prevent human connection and transparency, creating a "conveyor belt" that damages the nervous systems of everyone involved. The "All Your Faces" Method: Maria discusses the power of restorative groups where natural justice is found through direct, human dialogue rather than authoritative judgment. Looking in the Mirror: The episode concludes with a call to personal responsibility: choosing how we respond to conflict rather than reacting from our indoctrinated survival instincts. Key Timestamps 00:00 – Welcome back Robin Shohet: Exploring the purpose of punishment. 03:01 – Why do we punish when we know it doesn't work?. 08:22 – The Healthcare Lesson: Why admitting mistakes reduces suing rates. 13:12 – The addiction to "Being Right" and the fear of intimacy. 17:14 – From Hunter-Gatherers to Property: The origins of exclusion. 24:15 – The high cost of adversarial professions on the human soul. 33:03 – All Your Faces: Finding natural justice through dialogue. 37:36 – Final Thought: Choosing our response and looking in the mirror. Social Links ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM). Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠⁠⁠⁠
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    40 mins
  • Murder is Not Content: A 16-Year-Old’s Mission to Fix Crime Journalism

    Murder is Not Content: A 16-Year-Old’s Mission to Fix Crime Journalism
    May 19 2026
    In this extraordinary episode of All Things Conflict, host Maria Arpa meets Abhishek Raj (known by the pseudonym Karma Gray), a 16-year-old criminology researcher and founder of The Crime Ledger. Based in India, Abhishek has been dedicated since the age of 12 to challenging the way crime is consumed as entertainment. The conversation dives deep into the dangers of "irresponsible journalism"—the kind that romanticizes serial killers like Jeffrey Dahmer or Ted Bundy while reducing victims to mere plot devices. Abhishek explains his mission to provide "responsible crime journalism" that informs and creates aware citizens rather than feeding off human misfortune. This is a refreshing look at how the younger generation is demanding more gravity, more facts, and more respect in the true crime space. Key Takeaways Pseudonym and Purpose: Abhishek explains why he uses the name "Karma Gray" and how he started The Crime Ledger at 15 to prove that crime writing can be both captivating and responsible. The Problem with Sensationalism: A critique of how modern media focuses on the psychology and motives of killers at the expense of legal institutions and victim perspectives. The Dahmer Effect: Abhishek recounts how a friend’s sympathy for Jeffrey Dahmer—sparked by a Netflix dramatization—motivated him to provide a factual counterbalance to "titillating" content. Creating "Aware Citizens": Why factual crime reporting is vital for a safer society, helping people recognize patterns of behavior and understand the real legal repercussions of crime. The "Co-Victim" Perspective: A look at the importance of considering the families and communities affected by crime, who are often re-traumatized by sensationalist portrayals. The Future of Crime Ledger: Abhishek’s vision to scale his initiative into a full publication that serves as a credible source for real-time crime information. A Call for Fact-Checking: The wisdom that consumers must take responsibility for seeking better mediums and verifying sensationalized stories against factual information. Key Timestamps 00:00 – Meet Karma Gray: The 16-year-old founder of Crime Ledger. 03:10 – The definition of "Responsible Journalism" and its primary objectives. 06:45 – Ted Bundy and the "Playboy" trap: How media romanticises monsters. 09:20 – The Jeffrey Dahmer discussion: When entertainment leads to sympathising with killers. 14:15 – Educating the public: How recognizing criminal patterns leads to a safer society. 19:30 – The "Co-Victim" experience and the harm of plot-device storytelling. 25:50 – Scaling Crime Ledger: Turning a blog into a credible publication. 30:10 – Closing thoughts: The consumer’s responsibility to fact-check. Karma Gray Links https://www.crimeledger.org/ https://in.linkedin.com/in/karma-gray-5b12423a7 https://www.instagram.com/the_crimeledger/ Social Links ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM). Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠⁠⁠⁠
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    23 mins
  • The Bridge to Impact: Transitioning from Corporate Success to Social Value

    The Bridge to Impact: Transitioning from Corporate Success to Social Value
    May 12 2026
    In this episode of All Things Conflict - Justice Redesigned, Maria sits down with Andrea Gamson, a "force of nature" in the world of social impact. Andrea is the founder of Social Impact Support and the author of Social Starters, a book dedicated to helping professionals bridge the gap between corporate success and a life of meaning. Andrea shares her personal "12-year DIY career transition," moving from corporate media sales to leading global volunteering programs and sustainability consultancies. They discuss the "icky" feeling of being successful yet unfulfilled, the systemic "wicked problems" that keep our economy imbalanced, and how to use "active hope" to make a sustainable contribution to society without abandoning your existing life. Key Takeaways The Bridge to Purpose: Many professionals feel trapped in senior roles; Andrea acts as the "bridge" to help them translate corporate skills into social value. Marginalized Leadership: Andrea specifically supports "lived experience" founders—those who have experienced social issues firsthand—as they are often the most overlooked by traditional investment. The 6 Ps of Purpose: A look at the six-part framework from Andrea's book, starting with "Self" to understand who you are before deciding where you are going. Regenerative Economics: A discussion on the "Gaia theory" and moving toward a regenerative economy that redresses the imbalances created since the Industrial Revolution. Active Hope over Despair: How to manage the overwhelm of global challenges by finding the "one thing" you can do that is sustainable for you. The Relationship Audit: Based on the principle that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, Andrea explains why auditing your inner circle is vital for career change. Systemic Design: Andrea explores whether our current systems are "broken" or working exactly as they were artfully designed—concluding they are "wicked problems" that require a new generation of thinking. Key Timestamps 00:00 – Meet Andrea Gamson: The force of nature in social impact. 06:26 – The 12-Year DIY Transition: Why charities wouldn't interview a media exec. 12:38 – Regenerative Business: Moving beyond the legacy of the Industrial Revolution. 17:47 – Internal Conflict: Listening to the "truth" within yourself. 20:42 – The Method: 30 assignments and the 6 Ps of Purpose. 23:15 – Wicked Problems: Why our current economic systems are a "higgledy-piggledy mess". 29:17 – The 5-Person Rule: Choosing who to spend time with to accelerate change. Andrea Gamson Links https://uk.linkedin.com/in/andreagamson https://www.instagram.com/andreagamson/ https://socialimpact.support/ Social Links ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.workplacehuddle.com⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠ HOST BIO Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM). Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/⁠⁠⁠
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    34 mins
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