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All at Once

All at Once

Written by: Kelly Browning
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 This is the All at Once podcast for women and those who love them. We are God’s image bearers exploring ways religion has been distorted to silence the marginalized and justify abuse. We are Christians, seeking to comfort, heal, and free people from the pain caused by our own religion. We carry much, like all of humanity, All at Once. To God be the glory. Christianity Ministry & Evangelism Relationships Social Sciences Spirituality
Episodes
  • 01 Abuse, shame, a faithful God, and me: Meet your Host!

    01 Abuse, shame, a faithful God, and me: Meet your Host!
    Nov 9 2020

    In this episode, Kelly shares her personal story as a survivor of childhood sexual assault. We hear about the messages she internalized as a girl growing up in the church and how they significantly impacted how she processed what happened to her. We hear the story of her experience reporting that assault as an adult, and about the judgment and shaming she received in the name of Christianity as a result of her decision to report.

    Follow us on Instagram! @allatonce.podcast Please consider giving monthly through Patreon to support our work.

    Presenting sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield of Stanfield Properties

    Kelly’s story serves as a testimony of some deeply rooted issues that are prevalent today in Christian culture. The tragic reality is that there are countless other examples of how blind spots in Christian culture have enabled the abuse and oppression of women in many churches and homes.

    In this episode, we learn three phrases that are incredibly impactful for victims when they disclose abuse that Kelly learned from Cindy Dawson. They are:

    1. I am so sorry that happened to you,
    2. It is not your fault, and
    3. I believe you

    Kelly opens discussions about the power of representation of women in leadership roles in combating abuse, and about the importance of examining the values we teach young girls and boys around gender roles.

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    We believe that God created women as equal image bearers, who are valuable, and who have much to say and much to bring to the table. We hope to amplify the voices of women to combat the silencing of women and the silencing of victims of abuse. Our mission is to start discussions that bring to light the issues we see, and to explore ways in which Christians can proactively create safer and more supportive environments for women and victims of abuse.

    Silver Sponsor: Ascribe Designs

    Ad featured in this episode: Box and Sparrow

    Music: “A New Day” by Michelle Raybourn

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    If you’d like to support the show outside of financial means, please write a review on Apple Podcasts, download the episodes, and share the show with your friends.

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    23 mins
  • 02 Rigid thinking: a breeding ground for shame. Rochelle Bridges joins us to discuss the grip shame has on our culture.

    02 Rigid thinking: a breeding ground for shame. Rochelle Bridges joins us to discuss the grip shame has on our culture.
    Nov 9 2020

    John 8 tells the story of the adulterous woman who Jesus defended. She stood shamed and condemned by her community. In this episode, we discuss how Jesus always moves toward the outcast to offer hope. He consistently moves away from those in power to be with the disempowered.

    This episode explores the impact of puritan values, rigid thinking, and shame-based teaching in Christian culture. Our guest for this episode, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and owner of Friendswood Family Counseling, Rochelle Bridges, helps unpack the factors that lead to shame, the damaging impact shame has on mental and emotional health and ways that we can combat the downward spiral of shame in ourselves and others.

    Presenting sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield of Stanfield Properties

    Follow us on Instagram! @allatonce.podcast Please consider giving monthly through Patreon to support our work.

    We learn about rigid thinking, which often causes people to feel stuck or severely limited in what choices they can make in their lives, and how intolerable that feeling is to people. We hear about how rigid thinking combined with critical, judgmental, and condemning attitudes produces shame.

    We discuss how shame is something that everyone experiences, but that no one talks about. Shame sends us into a downward spiral of negative self talk that is damaging to our worth. Shame grows when it is kept secret, so talking with a therapist, advocate, or other supportive person helps to chip away at shame and brings healing.

    Rochelle gives us some tools we can use to combat rigid thinking and shame. We can challenge rigid thinking by using the words “but” or “and” at the end of rigid thoughts, to allow for alternative choices. We can also choose what to do with our feelings of shame, and how we can consciously choose to move forward in a new direction of growth. Rochelle also gives us some tips on how we can be mindful parents to build shame resilience in our children.

    We hope that this discussion brings you hope and healing from any shame you may carry. The truth is that you are fully known and deeply loved and celebrated just as you are.

    Silver Sponsor: Ascribe Designs

    Ad featured in this episode: Behold and Flourish

    Music: “A New Day” by Michelle Raybourn

    Buy merch or give a one time gift!

    If you’d like to support the show outside of financial means, please write a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, download the episodes, and share the show with your friends.
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    44 mins
  • 03 Abuse in the name of submission: Assistant Producer Sarah shares her story

    03 Abuse in the name of submission: Assistant Producer Sarah shares her story
    Nov 9 2020
    Submission is a loaded word; it carries a lot of weight. When we teach gender roles and marital hierarchy without clearly and directly addressing power abuse, emotional abuse, and manipulation, it is very dangerous. The rigid thinking we often see in Christian culture around the theology of submission creates a breeding ground for power abuse and the oppression of women. Unfortunately, there are many Christian communities that systematically dismiss women’s voices as being hysterical or dramatic when they report abuse while allowing abusers to continue in their abusive patterns unconfronted. Presenting sponsor: Alan and Beth Stanfield of Stanfield Properties Follow us on Instagram! @allatonce.podcast Please consider giving monthly through Patreon to support our work. In this episode, we discuss how there are men among our congregations who hear teaching on marital hierarchy and internalize a message that empowers and enables them to behave abusively in their homes. We aim to call out false teaching that is often found in Christian culture: that women should blindly obey their husbands in all circumstances, that men should dismiss the voices of women, and that married women should not have agency over their own bodies but that their bodies belong to their husbands, and more. Most importantly, we assert that abuse of any kind is sin. The rejection of abusive behavior and people is not. Assistant producer, Sarah Jordan, shares her personal story as a survivor of domestic abuse, and the response she received from her church when she disclosed the abuse. In relation to her story, we discuss victim blaming, gaslighting, feeling stuck, and powerless, how much courage it takes to disclose abuse, and the importance of responding well to disclosure. Sarah shares how her church community pressured her to stay in an abusive marriage, to remain silent, and to be submissive. Unfortunately, this is far too common in churches. Too often, churches enable and even help abusive men to justify abusive behavior in the name of biblical headship and submission. Too often, women receive the message that they are overreacting when they disclose their abuse, which causes them not to trust themselves, and ultimately to silence their own voices. We explore how it helps combat power abuse in Christian culture to have women represented in leadership in churches. When we don’t address the issue of power abuse on a large scale in Christian culture, from the pulpit, we are responsible for creating a culture that allows pockets of people to continue to directly silence and oppress women without accountability. In this environment, victims of abuse are too often shamed and judged and outcast for standing up to abuse. We discuss how it is important to also consider the impact of domestic abuse on children. Often we are told that the best thing for children is to stay married no matter what. The truth is that the trauma of abuse typically has a long-lasting negative impact on children’s mental and emotional health. Sarah shares how beneficial it has been for her children to have the stability of a loving and healthy home free from abuse. She talks about how damaging it is for children to be in an environment where they learn that patterns of hurtful and harmful behaviors are to be expected in relationships. Outside of an abusive home, Sarah and her children are able to heal and thrive. We hope that those in church leadership would consider having women represented in church leadership in any capacity because it can have a lasting and deep impact on combating the abuse and oppression of women. For pastors and others who want to know how to respond when someone discloses abuse, there are three important things you can say to help a victim feel safe and validated: I believe youIt’s not your fault, and I’m so sorry that happened to you. We hope that those who identify with Sarah’s story of domestic abuse will find some clarity and hope. We also hope that if you are in a domestic abuse situation, that you would reach out to law enforcement, advocacy groups, licensed professional counselors, lawyers, or a church to better understand your options. If you have had a crime committed against you, reporting that crime can be a very important step to consider taking. Visit www.rainn.org for information related to reporting assault. There are financial resources that become available to victims of violent crimes once they report their crime to the police. Reporting does not have a statute of limitations or an expiration date, convictions do. No matter how long ago it happened, you can report it to the police. Silver Sponsor: Ascribe Designs Ad featured in this episode: Second Journey Music: “A New Day” by Michelle Raybourn Buy merch or give a one time gift If you’d like to support the show outside of financial means, please write a review on Apple Podcasts, download the episodes, and share the show ...
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    47 mins
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