You’re intelligent, Self-aware and you know how to articulate exactly why they don’t serve you.So why can’t you stop? Why do you still reach for your phone at 6pm instead of being present? Why do you say yes when you mean no? Why do you start fights to avoid what’s really bothering you? Why do you organise the pantry for the tenth time instead of sitting with yourself? In this honest and open conversation, psychologist Jacquie Ward and I dismantle everything you thought you knew about self-sabotage. Spoiler: it doesn’t actually exist.

In This Episode We Explore:The Midlife Reckoning ∙ Why turning 40 hits different (and it’s not just about the number) ∙ The grief of bigger kids and the season shift nobody prepares you for ∙ The known spike in maternal depression when all kids start school - and why it happens ∙ “If not now, then when?” - the delicious freedom and anxiety of finite timeWhat Self-Sabotage Actually Is ∙ Why “self-sabotage” is really maladaptive self-soothing (and why this reframe changes everything) ∙ The behaviors smart women reach for: phone scrolling, conflict-seeking, over-functioning, food, hypervigilance ∙ Starting fights to avoid inner conflict - the pattern nobody talks about ∙ How we use “acceptable” addictions to numb out (and why they’re so accessible)The Patterns Keeping You Stuck ∙ “I’m self-reflective, not always self-aware” - why you can intellectualize everything but still can’t change ∙ The mental load makes better choices practically impossible sometimes ∙ Why you can’t selectively numb (what you’re losing when you disconnect from discomfort) ∙ People-pleasing: the hardest thing to let go of at 40Tiger Energy vs Swan Energy ∙ Why discipline culture and “tough love” keeps burning you out ∙ The masculine energy of Goggins-style motivation (and when it actually works vs when it destroys) ∙ “All tiger energy, zero swan energy” - which one are you? ∙ How to be goals-driven without being rigidThe Uncomfortable Work of Real Change ∙ Being able to tolerate discomfort is the skill of our generation ∙ Naming the feeling dissolves 80% of its power ∙ Why you can’t sit through a full-length movie (and what that’s really about) ∙ The practice: brain dump everything swirling in your head today - not Pinterest-worthy, just rawWhat Actually Works ∙ Why compassion beats discipline for sustainable change ∙ Understanding what’s driving the behavior underneath ∙ How Jacquie broke her pattern of using food to self-soothe (Magnums for breakfast, lolly stashes around the house, managing Crohn’s disease) ∙ The shift from self-contempt to curiosity.

Jacquie Ward is a psychologist based in South Sydney who works with children, adolescents, and their families both in person and online. After the birth of her first child, a deep love of learning combined with a fascination for developmental psychology and attachment theory led her to pursue a complete career change. Almost 10 years, two more babies, and approximately 5,000 textbooks later, she found herself immersed in her dream job.For Jacquie, working with children, teens, and their families as they navigate challenges with mental health and wellbeing is the ultimate privilege. She’s also a mum of three (11, 9, and 5), married to her high school sweetheart Dave, and has lived the midlife transformation she talks about in this episode - from chronic people-pleasing and maladaptive coping to a softer, more sustainable way of being.Connect with Jacquie:Website: jacquieward.com.auInstagram: @jacquie_ward_https://www.instagram.com/sweat.chill.exhale?igsh=MWlvbTdib2pram9haA==


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My word for 2026 surprised me. Not because it sounded inspiring, but because it made me uncomfortable.

Every woman knows the feeling of over functioning, micro managing and the push and pull of being responsible for far too much. We carry things we shouldn't have to, and sometimes we carry things far too long- to the where it becomes unhelpful.

In this episode, I’m unpacking what it really looks like to get out of your own way when responsibility has gone too far. Not in a “do better” way but in a way that actually gives you your power back.

• The quiet link between resentment and over-responsibility
• How control and micromanaging can be nervous system responses, not personality traits
• The difference between being responsible and being over-responsible
• What I realised I was taking responsibility for that was never mine
• Why insight alone wasn’t enough
• What actually created change
• How letting go of certain responsibilities (especially as a parent) can be for the best
• What it means to be responsible for your reactions without blaming yourself

This isn’t about fixing yourself.I t’s about noticing where you’ve been carrying too much – and what happens when you stop.If you’ve ever thought “why do I feel resentful when I’m doing everything right?” This episode might land closer than you expect.

Listen to more unfiltered reflections and deeper conversations inside Almost Confidential 💛 https://apple.co/iam

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In this episode, I’m joined by Amy- the founder of The Hosted Home Collective, Airbnb Community Leader, property educator, and the mind behind design-led and a brand new tech-forward start up. Amy shares the mindset shifts that have shaped her success, the business lessons learned from scaling across hospitality, education, and tech, and how intentional design plays a role not just in homes, but in life itself. We talk manifesting, motherhood, creating work that supports the life you actually want, and what it really takes to level up without burning out. This conversation is part strategy, part mindset, and part permission slip for designing a life that feels as good as it looks.

Try Ethena ( Amy's Tech Start up)

The Hosted Home on IG

Check out Amy's courses here

Listen to amy's podcast here

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