In this episode of Arash’s World, I have the pleasure of speaking with Psychiatrist and Relationship Expert Dr. Laura Dabney and author of “I Need You… Now Go Away!: Reclaiming Your Life When Someone You Love Has a Personality Disorder” where she reframes personality disorders not as “types of people,” but as a core emotional conflict: an almost phobic push–pull between closeness and distance.

Dr. Dabney explains why partners often feel trapped in repeating patterns rooted in childhood familiarity and why waiting for the other person to change rarely works. Instead, she argues that shifting your own responses can disrupt the pattern and help the relationship dynamic evolve.

We then move from labels to practical tools, such as noticing “destructive aggression” (forcing, cornering) and “destructive passivity” (withholding, expecting mind-reading), learning to tolerate difficult emotions (especially anger, sadness, and neediness), and using boundaries with “bridge statements” that protect you without escalating rejection.

Moreover, Dr. Dabney explains how to distinguish all this from “normal” stress and stressors within a healthy and functioning relationship and when to seek help with a health professional, be it a life coach or a relationship expert like herself.

Finally, she also makes a case for integrating CBT for stability and trust and then to follow it up deeper with psychodynamic insight to bring about lasting change, and she shares that she created Relationship RX for people who need clear actionable direction without necessarily committing to long-term therapy.

In this episode of Arash’s World, I have the pleasure of speaking with Ellis Scott, a debut novelist of sharing his unconventional path to publication, which includes beginning his writing career at 55 after early retirement due to illness following decades spent delivering humanitarian aid in conflict zones. Now 62, he is the author of Night Terminus, a novel that confronts one of our most devastating and overlooked chapters of recent history: the aftermath of the AIDS crisis.

Rather than focusing on the epidemic itself, Ellis centers his novel on survivors: those who lived through years of loss, stigma, and fear and were never expected to survive. Drawing on personal experience as a gay teenager during the early years of AIDS, he reflects on survivor’s guilt, PTSD, chronic illness, and the long emotional shadow cast by a crisis that lasted far longer than many acknowledge. Our conversation explores the stark contrast between societal responses to AIDS and COVID‑19, the silence and hostility of governments in the 1980s, and the grassroots activism that emerged when institutions failed to deliver.

The novel spans forty years, five chapters, and multiple continents, following a nameless narrator whose identity is revealed through the people he encounters: exiles, fugitives, rebels, artists, and fellow survivors. Themes of statelessness, travel, and belonging run throughout capturing what Ellis describes as the queer experience of being “guests at the party,” never quite hosts.

Ultimately, the discussion returns to courage and self‑authorship: the idea that even if history dictates the beginning of one’s story, it is still possible to write one’s own ending. Night Terminus stands as both a literary act of remembrance and a testament to resilience and community.

In this episode, I’m joined by Poet Kathryn MacDonald to discuss her hybrid poetry collection The Blue Gate, a book-length lyric poem that moves from love into loss and grief, with its central section of a serendipitous month-long trip to Kenya shortly after her husband’s death.

Kathryn explores recurring motifs of rain and water as bountifulness amid drought, and red-tailed hawks as a metaphor for trust and lifelong love through “skydancing.” She reflects on culture shock, how grief is approached and dealt with in different contexts alongside her experience of living “two realities” at the same time.

We also talk about the role of poetry and how it enriches our lives and gives voice to complex emotions that cannot be subsumed in words. Moreover, Kathryn mentions her different inspirations, and how writers and artists, such as Solnit, Blixen, Rilke as well as surrealist painters influence her craft. The episode closes with Kathryn reading two of her poems: “Skydancing” and the closing poem of the book, “Albinoni’s Adagio,” underscoring endurance with “And still. I live.”