Dead On Arrival

Shit

what do you care if a nigger dies reflections of me die everyday dead before

meant to

21 death day

i rot inside my mama’s womb

smell the flesh of botched abortions where my brother and sister died

i’m the 3rd this year

to sit on this cold floor in my mama’s house the cradle of civilization

dead souls tell me

only long beeps were heard

after they took their first breaths

eyes so small

never opened

but could feel young crackers smile

at the chance to cut open little Afrikans and discover ways to kill them faster

my mommy smokes crack

if she didn’t kill me

your son would over a chain the pig cop over his manhood she smokes because of pain

i smoke because i live thru her breaths

and all she inhales is the cracker’s genocide

i heard screams from two brothers on the outside cursed my moms

told her the corner stopped hiring

they have heart

but their man was blown away the night before so courage fired them

but poverty paid them off the books

so drug kingpin protects his

and warns twice

but catches them on the third go around

and lays there

the remains on Malcolm x blvd

so all would understand

you have to pay takes

you have 2 pay your dues 2 be the boss

and they came up short

so now i know big brothers won’t toss me around break up fights when i call for help

because they gone where i just came from

i kick and scream for the white rocks

she feeds me every half hour

but mama changed the formula without telling me it’s a little stronger

take small sips

or o.d. and flush down the toilet will be my fate

i’m so small i could slip no one would know

i look out windows

and see ugly do or die

where we do what we’re told and work 2 be poor i go crazy wondering if my skin is light or dark only touching hair knowing it’s not good

because my mama cried about hers many nights i know i will make you cry 2, mama

because i know i’m ugly

although no mirrors hang in this dark cell

i come from a father who hustled

and sold

and fucked over some bigger nigger’s money so caps were pulled

daddy was left capless

daddy changed mama into a beggar begging from 2 to 5 on F trains stomach big

but crumbs still given

as the smell makes some dumb bitch cover her mouth like the fucking handkerchief

is going 2 make my poverty disappear

dumb bitch

my mama’s hungry

and u gave her a fucking quarter

five 2 eight we sleep

in front car

or lay with conductor

after 8 we have 2 run from men

who love dirty pussy without asking

so eyes remain open as we run the streets looking for money 2 shoot up

last month’s rent was smoked away

she 6 months

but i feel like coming 3 months early 2 help her poor black woman ain’t pro-choice

no choice if no funds

and now heroin fills my mind

as a trick pounds into pussy 2 sad 2 get wet so dry and tight as he moans

i see what most black men call manhood looks dirty, dried-up tool

worthless against crackers

that rule with brains and guns

so i drink semen

because mama’s 2 numb 2 tell him 2 pull out

mama, i hope he pays u because i need a pull

i can’t sleep

and the room has no food left and it’s cold

mama, i hope he pays you so we can eat good, mama

paid loot

give loot

find corner

underground railroad

shit, mama

don’t cry

i’ll find a dark vein and push it 2 the surface just feed me

stick it in

i can

we can sleep now

3 months became 2 weeks

i will see this world that killed 2 brothers like t