Attachment Style – The 4 Patterns That Shape How You Relate

In this video I explore the four attachment styles and why the way we attach in early life becomes the emotional template for how we connect, trust, and relate to others as adults.

Our relationship with our primary caregiver — mother, father, or early guardian — shapes the nervous system, our sense of safety, and our beliefs about whether we are worthy of love and whether others can be relied upon.

Attachment theory, developed through the work of Bowlby and Ainsworth, suggests that these patterns are formed in the first 18 months of life through early bonding, emotional regulation, and responsiveness.

I share:

• how attachment styles develop in childhood

• why early attachment becomes a blueprint for adult relationships

• the four main attachment patterns: secure, anxious-avoidant, anxious-resistant, and disorganised

• how these styles can show up not only in intimacy, but also in distress patterns such as food, emotional regulation, and self-worth

• why the goal is always movement towards secure attachment

The good news is that attachment patterns are not fixed. With awareness, support, and safe relationships, the nervous system can change. Healing is always possible, and we can learn to build a secure base within ourselves and with others.

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