What if the biggest shift in behaviour support isn’t about techniques… but about how we think?

In this solo episode, Andy Baker explores one of the most underrated skills in caregiving, education and parenting: intellectual humility. The ability to step back and question your assumptions can transform how you understand behaviour - whether it’s a child labelled “attention-seeking”, a student seen as “lazy”, or an adult perceived as “difficult”.

Through relatable stories and practical examples, Andy challenges the way we interpret behaviour, showing how labels can block connection, fuel confirmation bias, and escalate situations. Instead, he introduces a more effective approach built on curiosity, emotional awareness, and understanding the hidden reasons behind behaviour.

If you’ve ever felt stuck, frustrated, or unsure how to respond to behaviour that challenges - this episode will help you see things differently… and respond more effectively.

00:00 - Attention-seeking vs connection-seeking: why framing matters 00:35 - The most underrated skill: intellectual humility 01:00 - Why we misread behaviour (and overestimate our understanding) 01:30 - The “bouncing ball” story: behaviour makes sense in context 02:30 - Why past experiences shape present reactions 03:00 - How small moments can create lasting emotional impact 04:00 - Invalidation, shame, and why “it doesn’t matter” doesn’t help 04:30 - The power of curiosity in behaviour support 05:00 - Why caregivers lose curiosity under pressure 05:30 - The problem with labels like “lazy”, “liar”, or “manipulative” 06:00 - How labels fuel confirmation bias 07:00 - Why labels create disconnection 07:30 - A better question: “Why this, why now?” 08:30 - Fixing vs managing behaviour - knowing the difference 09:00 - Communication beyond words: tone, body language and presence 10:00 - Why calm is the most practical intervention 10:30 - How assumptions leak through your communication 10:50 - De-escalation through alignment and connection 11:30 - Connection before correction in practice 12:30 - Key takeaway: labels create lazy thinking 13:00 - Why curiosity leads to better care and stronger relationships 13:30 - Turning curiosity into consistent practice (Able Target System)

• Labels aren’t explanations - they’re shortcuts. They often oversimplify behaviour and reinforce confirmation bias, limiting your ability to see the full picture.

• Behaviour always makes sense… in context. What looks like an overreaction might be completely logical when you understand someone’s past experiences.

• Curiosity creates connection - and connection changes outcomes. Asking “why this, why now?” helps you respond more effectively while maintaining boundaries and dignity.

• You’ll rethink common behaviour labels like “attention-seeking”, “lazy”, or “manipulative”

• You’ll gain practical tools to reduce conflict and improve communication

• You’ll learn how to balance empathy with boundaries

• You’ll understand how your mindset directly impacts the people you support

• You’ll walk away with a clearer, calmer approach to behaviour that challenges

• The Able Target System – A structured approach to behaviour support, de-escalation, and reflection

• Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge – Andy Baker’s book

• The Adaptive Caregiver (coming soon) – A model focused on improving wellbeing and quality of life through adaptive support

• Website: https://www.able-training.co.uk/podcast

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-support

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingsupport

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletrainingsupport

If the behaviour makes no sense to you… is that about them - or about the limits of your current understanding?