074 Since the time of Socrates people have been opining and pearl clutching about the wayward state of the youth. For better or worse, Millennials and Gen Z have received a tremendous amount of attention and public scrutiny from professionals and social media influencers. With labels like ‘the anxious generation' more young people find themselves defined through a mental health lens and aggressively treated for conditions that previously may have been considered adaptive challenges of adolescence.

Rather than focusing on a perceived fragility of young people or finger pointing at over protective parenting, the origins of the youth mental health crisis might be sourced in common issues we all struggle with in the digital age and the anxieties of professionals and policy makers.

In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with Dr Nevin Harper, nature based clinical therapist and coauthor of Kids These Days: Understanding and supporting youth mental health. In this conversation we talk about the societal and cultural origins of our current thinking around the youth mental health and 3 common disruptors in modern life that negatively effect the developmental process. We also discuss how to shift focus from an interventionist approach to returning to the basics of mental health, including healthy attachments, connection to the natural world and encouraging risk tolerance to create the conditions for young people to thrive.

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073 Only recently have both women and men been able to liberate themselves from the yoke of patriarchal norms. The transition to a more egalitarian, post modern society in the last 50 years also meant a rejection of historical narratives about manhood, including what some mythological traditions call the masculine spirit. In the absence of this archetypal energy, many men languish and struggle with a deep insecurity about their place in a fast changing world.

While the media focuses on caricatures of alpha males and examples of ‘toxic masculinity’, the shadow side of men, especially well intentioned and conscious men, more often appears in the form of the ‘nice guy’. Dr Robert Glover first coined the term ‘nice guy syndrome’ to describe a complex of self defeating traits, including passivity, excessive people pleasing, covert manipulation and weak personal boundaries. Paradoxically, nice guys rarely get what they truly want from relationships or life by being nice.

In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with Jason Lange, men’s embodiment coach, group leader and podcaster, about men’s shadow work to recover the generative power of the masculine spirit. In this conversation we discuss the origins of nice guy syndrome, it presentation in intimate relationships and creating transformative spaces for men to be seen and supported to rise to the challenge of modern masculinity.

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072 The age of connectivity was supposed to give everyone a voice and spread liberal values around the world, but instead public discourse in the digital town square has been reduced to 280 characters and cynical memes shared with strangers. In contrast to the dumpster fire of social media is the rich tradition of a salon culture that thrived during the age of enlightenment. From the ferment of these social gatherings flowed a new world of reason and possibility, including egalitarian systems of self governance and the inalienable rights that have come to define the West, but are now under threat.

Innate to the experience of salons is the pursuit of meaning, connection and beauty. As more of life is lived online there are fewer spaces in the real world where diverse people and perspectives can engage in healthy and spirited exchange about things that truly matter. In this episode of Awake In Relationship I speak with Justine Kolata, a philosopher, salonnière and author of In Pursuit of the Beautiful Soul about reviving the art of conversation as an antidote to online toxicity and restoring hope in a brighter future through holding space for beauty and heartfelt dialogue.

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