B"H
The sky did not rise. It exploded. Colors too vast for language tore through the horizon, lacerating the air itself. Light no longer traveled—it screamed, twisting into prisms that bent around the infinitesimal heartbeat of the Awtsmoos. Every photon was a wound and a whisper at once, slicing the retina of reality, leaving Eitan blinking into a world that had never existed and yet had always existed.
The ground beneath him was not earth—it was memory made flesh. Rocks convulsed with hidden histories; each grain of sand was a universe compressing, unfolding, and dying inside his palm. He touched one, and a billion suns detonated there, burning backward into impossible shadows, and he felt the tremor ripple through his spine as if time itself were a vertebra snapping under weight.
“Why?” he screamed into the unair, his voice fracturing into ten thousand echoes that returned to him as questions he had never asked. “Why make trees that scream of centuries they never lived, diamonds forged in fires that never ignited, rivers that murmur histories that never happened?!”
The Awtsmoos answered. Not in sound. Not in light. But in presence, crushing the layers of everything Eitan thought he understood.
A tree rose from the earth in reverse, its branches retracting into seeds, leaves folding into their veins, rings unringing themselves, sap withdrawing like frightened blood. Eitan fell backward as the air thickened into a thousand overlapping moments, each one older than the last yet newborn, screaming with the impossible coherence of what should not be.
The Rav’s staff struck the ground, but the sound bent back into him. “You wanted explanation,” the Rav said, his voice now a chorus of everything that had lived and would live. “You wanted reason. The Awtsmoos owes none. Every pattern, every form, every echo of age is a mercy, not a lie. Do you understand what that means?”
Eitan did. Too much. Too fully. He felt the rivers of impossible time running through him: the ice of mountains that had never frozen, the magma of stars that had never ignited, the blood of men who had never lived yet whose knowledge coursed through his mind. Coherence was violence, and mercy was fire.
He looked at a diamond glinting in the exploded dawn. Its lattice was perfect. Every atom knew its role in a history that never existed. And Eitan screamed again—not in pain, but in recognition: the Awtsmoos did not need to obey reason. It did not need to justify itself.
And yet, for some unfathomable kindness, it allowed patterns to emerge. Order appeared where none was demanded. History reflected in stones, in trees, in men—and all of it was grace.
The river leaned closer, and Eitan saw inside it: infinity folding into itself, unraveling, and reweaving into impossible coherence. The Awtsmoos hovered in every particle and between every absence of particle.
“You think the question is why it looks old,” a voice thundered inside him, louder than the sky exploding. “The question is why it looks at all!”
Eitan fell to his knees, the air slicing at his lungs, the earth pressing into his bones. And he wept—because reality owed him nothing. Everything he perceived—everything he could even conceive—was a mercy, a mercy so vast it could annihilate him if he tried to grasp it fully.
And the Awtsmoos laughed—or what passes for laughter in the fabric of being—and Eitan understood:
The world is not meant to be explained. It is meant to be endured, to be witnessed, to be held in awe, every moment a merciful stab of impossible coherence.
And that, Eitan realized, is what it means to live inside a creation that owes nothing—and yet gives everything.