In this episode I’m back after an unplanned break sharing a life update. The last few months have felt heavy. Mental health has taken work. Money has felt tight. The cost of living is no joke and juggling our small business, nanny shifts and school logistics has been a lot.

The kids are in big seasons too. Jamie’s riding those intense leap phases that flip the whole house upside down, Sophie is deep in her independent two year old era, and the sibling bickering is next level. I’m trying to be intentional with one on one time and keep everyone afloat.

There are good things coming. A mum’s retreat. Bali. A date night. More gym. More us time. And I’m ready to properly lean back into the podcast with more guests and an honest chat with T Squiz about mental load, resentment and intimacy.

Let’s stay connected 🤍

If you loved this episode, the best way to support the podcast is by following the show and leaving a quick 5 star review. It helps more mums find these real, honest conversations.

You can find me over on Instagram at @doulamarley where I share all things motherhood, birth, relationships and the behind the scenes of real life. You can also connect with the podcast page at @becomingboth.

Prefer email? Reach me anytime at marley@motheringthemama.com.au — I genuinely love hearing your thoughts, feedback and story.

Thanks for being here. It means more than you know 🤍

In this episode of Becoming Both, I sit down with the lovely Jordi, a 29-year-old mum of two from Adelaide, to talk honestly about OCD in pregnancy and motherhood. This conversation is real, raw and a huge reminder that not all anxiety is “just anxiety..

Jordi shares how OCD quietly shaped so much of her life for years before she was ever diagnosed, from intense fears around sickness and contamination to the constant need for certainty and reassurance. What looked like anxiety on the outside was actually something much deeper, and pregnancy with her first baby amplified everything.

We talk about the panic episode at 32 weeks that finally led her to a perinatal psychiatrist, receiving an OCD diagnosis late in pregnancy, and the huge emotional weight of navigating all of that while preparing to become a mum. Jordi opens up about starting sertraline, choosing an elective caesarean birth, and the shock of postpartum intrusive thoughts, including frightening fears of harming her baby, and how extremely isolating that experience can feel when nobody talks about it openly.

This episode also explores what changed the second time around: entering pregnancy with more understanding, the right support, medication already in place, and the difference that early intervention can make.

More than anything, this conversation is about honesty. About how scary thoughts do not make you a bad mother. About how OCD can hide in plain sight. And about why mums deserve specialized, informed support — not dismissal.

If you’ve ever felt consumed by fear, trapped in reassurance-seeking, or ashamed of intrusive thoughts, I hope this episode makes you feel less alone.

If this episode brought anything up for you, please know support is available — and intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and OCD in pregnancy/postpartum are far more common than many mums realize.

Helpful supports:

• PANDA – Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia Mon–Fri support line for parents during pregnancy and postpartum. 1300 726 306

• Beyond Blue 24/7 mental health support and counselling. 1300 22 4636

• Lifeline Australia 24/7 crisis support. 13 11 14

• International OCD Foundation – Perinatal OCD Resources Helpful information around intrusive thoughts and perinatal OCD.

If you’re feeling dismissed, keep seeking support. You deserve care that takes your experience seriously!

You can find me over at @becomingboth or @doulamarley. I would love to connect! Leaving a review or comment helps others find me. If you'd like to join me - feel free to email me marley@motheringthemama.com.au as I am always looking for guests to share their story xx

I’m Marley, and this episode was actually recorded previously… only to realise my two year old had somehow hit mute on the microphone. Which honestly feels pretty on brand for this season of life.

We’ve also just come out of what felt like an endless sleep deprivation spiral. About eight weeks of chaos that only really started improving after seeing a sleep consultant. So if I sound slightly delirious in this episode, that’s why.

From there, I get into returning to work and childcare, and how loaded and personal the whole conversation can feel once you become a mum.

I talk about the pressure a lot of families are under financially, and how daycare often ends up being the only realistic option because it’s the only thing subsidised. I also share my own weird guilt around using daycare three days a week while I nanny and study, and how I still catch myself feeling like I need to justify it.

We get into the research around children and primary caregivers in those early years, while also acknowledging that some kids genuinely thrive in care. Like most things in parenting, it’s not black and white.

I talk through some of the pros too. Identity outside motherhood, adult conversation, routine, financial relief, independence. But also the harder parts that people don’t always say out loud. The guilt, constant sickness, breastfeeding logistics, the mental load of organising everything, and trying to navigate workplaces that aren’t always supportive of mothers.

There are listener stories in this one too, which honestly made me feel less alone reading them.

And I share some practical things that can help. Gradual daycare transitions, having more honest conversations with employers, and why splitting the load at home matters so much more than people realise.

This episode isn’t really about telling mums what they should do. It’s more just an honest conversation about how hard it can feel trying to make decisions for your kids while also trying to survive modern life.

If you’ve been enjoying the pod, leaving a quick review genuinely helps more people find these conversations. And you can always come chat with me over on Instagram @doulamarley and @becomingboth.