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Better Sex

Better Sex

Written by: Jessa Zimmerman
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About this listen

 Better Sex is focused on helping all couples create and enjoy their best possible sex life. Better Sex is hosted by Jessa Zimmerman who is a couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. Each episode will dive into one topic related to sex. Some will be devoted to addressing sexual concerns like sexual dysfunction, differences in sexual desire, and intimacy problems. Some will help you develop realistic and helpful expectations. And some will offer information and approaches that can just make your sex life better.The information and discussion on the podcast should not be taken as medical advice or as therapy. Please seek out qualified professionals for medical and therapeutic advice.

jessazimmerman.substack.comJessa Zimmerman Hygiene & Healthy Living
Episodes
  • [Soapbox] Choose to Focus on the Anti-Fear

    [Soapbox] Choose to Focus on the Anti-Fear
    Apr 23 2026

    In this soapbox episode of Better Sex, sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman shares a client-inspired lesson on how fear-based conversations can spiral into a reactive cycle that fuels negativity and creates the outcomes partners most dread. Drawing on the idea that events lead to thoughts, interpretations, emotions, and then actions, she introduces the concept of the “anti-fear”—the opposite of a feared outcome—and encourages listeners to imagine and reinforce a more empowering story instead of worst-case scenarios. She walks through how one partner relaxed quickly when focusing on feeling supported and loved, while the other found it edgy because it conflicted with a long-held belief that his needs won’t be met. By choosing a positive vision and looking for evidence that supports it, couples can respond more collaboratively and stay connected when bumps arise.00:00 Better Sex Intro00:46 Soapbox Episode Setup01:11 Fear Spiral In Couples02:04 Anti Fear Reframe03:35 Partner A Finds Evidence04:18 Partner B And Life Story05:20 Reinforce A New Narrative06:16 Try This Yourself06:47 Outro And Credits

    Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.I'm on Substack! This is where I am focusing my energy to connect with the people who I seek to serve. Come visit:

    More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz –

    https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course –

    https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book –

    https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website –

    https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass



    Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe
    Show More Show Less
    8 mins
  • 383: Yoni Mapping with Freya Graf

    383: Yoni Mapping with Freya Graf
    Apr 20 2026
    Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman interviews Freya Graf about yoni mapping therapy and how she combines it with internal pelvic release work. Freya shares how her own history of shame, body image struggles, and fear around intimacy led her into this work, explains what “yoni” means and why she’s moving toward more clinical language, and walks through a typical 3–4 hour session (extended intake/sex education, home practices, full-body massage, external vulva mapping, and optional internal vaginal/pelvic floor massage). They discuss who seeks the work (prenatal/postnatal support, vaginismus, painful sex, pelvic tension, PMS, education, trauma and consent violations), why pace and client-led consent matter, how trauma can surface, and the importance of thorough training. Freya also offers guidance on vetting practitioners and shares her online course, coaching, podcast, and website for those without local access.00:00 Show Introduction00:45 Meet the Guest02:01 Why This Work Matters05:08 What Yoni Means07:51 How Sessions Work13:07 How Many Sessions14:24 Quick Quiz Break14:51 Who It Helps17:58 Consent and Empowerment20:19 Common Reasons Clients Come21:11 Partner Involvement Question21:27 Partner In Sessions23:24 Trauma Screening Approach27:03 Training And Safety29:26 Finding A Practitioner33:10 Consent And Boundaries34:31 Online Course And Resources38:28 Closing And CreditsTake Jessa's quizzes at https://www.desirediscrepancy.comFreya's Bio:Freya Graf is a Holistic Sex Educator & Coach and Yoni Mapping Therapist with a passion for holistic health and personal development. She keeps it real, raw and relatable when it comes to talking about sex, relating and bodies, and is on a mission to dismantle the shame, taboo and stigma shrouding these important topics by having open and vulnerable conversations about them through her work with women and on her hilarious podcast The Labia Lounge.With a background of study in Kahuna massage, internal pelvic release work, facilitation, early learning, yoga teaching, tantric bodywork and sacred sexuality, Freya works to inspire, educate and empower, supporting you to cultivate a fulfilling and life changing relationship with your body and sexuality!Freya offers one-on-one Yoni Mapping Therapy (YMT) and Internal Pelvic Release Work (IPRW) sessions for vulva-owners, as well as online sex coaching and education programs for the whole gender spectrum. She has launched an epic 3 month online course called Queen Out and pours her heart, soul and lots of laughter into her podcast The Labia Lounge where she interviews incredible guests about all things womanhood, sex, vaginas, relationships, holistic health and self development!- A podcast episode about yoni mapping: https://youtu.be/eO8Plj6-Coc?si=ss8qabcwtC_NqB8t- How to choose a yoni mapping practitioner:Blog: https://www.freyagraf.com/vagina-chronicles-blog/how-to-choose-a-yoni-massage-practitionerYouTube video: https://youtu.be/IVCsP6AmpmA?si=7AQc_QKwFw7-Ac3Y - Online course: https://www.freyagraf.com/online-course- Free mini course on female pleasure - a great place to get started if people are curious: https://www.freyagraf.com/freebieswww.freyagraf.comthe Labia Lounge PodcastWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe
    Show More Show Less
    40 mins
  • 382: [Soapbox] Activities for connection

    382: [Soapbox] Activities for connection
    Apr 16 2026

    Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman continues last week’s discussion about the potential of MDMA-assisted couples work, emphasizing she is not encouraging MDMA use because it remains a Schedule I illegal substance outside of research. Drawing from a recent 30-hour MDMA-assisted therapy training, she shares several couple “games” that can be helpful with or without an altered state: an appreciation game where partners slowly exchange gratitudes to deepen connection and nervous system regulation; a curiosity game focused on asking authentic, non-adversarial questions and answering truthfully (or passing); a simple difficult-conversation protocol that names fears, desired outcomes, and invites gentle response; and a win-win brainstorming question to generate solutions that meet both partners’ needs. She invites listeners to try the exercises and share feedback, and closes with podcast housekeeping and credits.


    00:00 Welcome to Better Sex

    00:46 MDMA and Couples Therapy

    01:41 Legal Status and Disclaimer

    02:51 Appreciation Game

    03:51 Curiosity Game

    05:04 Difficult Conversation Protocol

    06:10 Win Win Brainstorming

    07:30 Wrap Up and Listener Call

    07:45 Outro and Credits

    Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.



    More info and resources:


    Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

    Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast




    How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

    The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

    The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

    Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

    Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass



    Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe
    Show More Show Less
    9 mins
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