In this Episode of my audio memoir about when good stopped working, I find a breast lump a couple of weeks after starting a new job in Warsaw. I try to navigate this unknown medical system with very little Polish and the help of Doctor Google.

I just want to go home, but there's a voice in my head that keeps telling me to stay, to not make a fuss. That I can do this. The same voice that makes me attempt to turn up for work when I can't even stand from a serious leg injury. The same voice that doesn't want to let anyone down and puts her own needs to the side. The Good Girl.

Sign up to my newsletter

www.beyondthegoodgirlpodcast.com

In this episode, the good girl plans the best death ever without any actual evidence she is dying and totally ignoring any emotions she may feel about her impending doom in a frenzy, of lists, research and practices.

BEYOND THE GOOD GIRL

Who is the good girl? She's an overachiever, she's a people pleaser and she hates being out of control.

In 2020 I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer and my inner good girl tried to win at chemo!

She tried to manage and control.

She tried to not be a burden.

She tried to avoid conflict and confrontation.

Sometimes it worked but sometimes it didn't.

She also tried to use her powers of prediction to figure out the ending.

This episode is about where my mind went while waiting for a routine test result and the moment I realised I really couldn't control the outcomes of the treatment. Some how I had to find the balance between naive optimism and total catastrophizing.

Sign up for my newsletter

at beyondthegoodgirlpodcast.com