In this episode, we explore 12 unforgettable lessons from Paul Kalanithi’s masterpiece When Breath Becomes Air.

A story written at the edge of life — where a brilliant neurosurgeon becomes a patient, where fear turns into clarity, where love deepens, where meaning becomes urgent.

Through my own letters, reflections, and the emotional struggles I lived this year, we dive into:

• What it means to be mortal
• How illness transforms identity
• Why meaning matters more than career
• How medicine breaks you and heals you
• What love looks like when life is fragile
• And ultimately… what death teaches us about living

This episode is raw, personal, and filled with the most powerful insights I’ve ever shared.

⏱ TIMESTAMPS

0:00 – Intro

02:14 — Lesson 1: When your worst fear becomes reality

07:18 — Lesson 2: Choosing meaning over a career

11:20 — Lesson 3: Identity And Feeling Lost

14:43 — Lesson 4: The chaos and beauty of medicine

29:34 — Lesson 5: Families, suffering, and truth

36:10 — Lesson 6: What makes a good doctor

41:17— Lesson 7: Hardship as a teacher

46:34— Lesson 8: The parent I want to become

47:47 — Lesson 9: Love in the face of death

54:39 — Lesson 10: Fear, confusion, and Sickness

1:05:05 — Lesson 11: Learning to notice the present moment

1:10:35 — Lesson 12: Death — the lesson we avoid, the lesson we need

1:14:26 — Final reflections

📚 RESOURCES & MENTIONS

• When Breath Becomes Air — Paul Kalanithi
• Stanford Medicine articles on Paul Kalanithi
• His wife Lucy Kalanithi’s TED Talk
• My personal letters & reflections (as shared in the episode)

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Some people come into our lives without warning — and disappear just as quietly. Friends, crushes, mentors, strangers we swore we’d never forget. We don’t always get closure. We don’t always get to say goodbye.

But in the empty space they leave behind… something else begins to take form.

In this episode, I share letters I wrote to my future self — about the people I cared for, the ones I lost, the ones I never reached out to… and the quiet fear of being the only one who still remembers.

And from that heartbreak, I trace the path toward something deeper: great work. The kind of work that outlives us. The kind of work we build after we’ve let go — or been forced to.

This is an episode about:

• Missing people you’ll never see again
• Learning when to hold on and when to release
• Choosing purpose over nostalgia
• And what it really means to create something that matters

If you've ever missed someone in silence — or felt the ache of wanting to become someone greater than your circumstances — this one’s for you.

⏱ TIMESTAMPS

0:00 – Letters About the people who vanish without goodbye

5:30 – Turning to work when connection fades

11:40 – Lessons From H0w To Do Great Work By Paul Graham

35:25 – What it means to “Be Ready”

📚 RESOURCES & MENTIONS

• Founders Podcast – Episode on Phil Knight
• Elon Musk’s Algorithm (from Walter Isaacson’s biography)
• Paul Graham – “How to Do Great Work”
• Quote by Norman Vincent Peale
• CRISPR-Cas9 (Jennifer Doudna & Emmanuelle Charpentier)
• Apple design inspirations

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3. On TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@douniadbhbip?_t=8oldi9r0xcr&_r=1
4. On Youtube: https://youtube.com/@chasingmyheropodcast-l5x?si=H1ZZGH5rb87qDMdx

Episode Description:

In this episode, I share the story of the exam that freed me, my first time in London, and the deep questions I still face about the future — should I stay close to family in Algeria, or chase knowledge and growth abroad? Along the way, I explore Robert Cialdini’s principle of reciprocation from his book Influence, and how it shapes the way we give, belong, and build our lives.

Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction: Passing the exam & the feeling of freedom

07:00 – Lessons from London: Belonging, growth, and inspiration

15:23 – Influence

27:00 Reciprocation: What giving and receiving really mean

39:50 – One last Letter

38:00 – Closing thoughts and gratitude

Sources Mentioned:

• Robert B. Cialdini, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion (Chapter on Reciprocation)
• Personal notes & letters

Follow me on Social Media:

1. On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dounia-debbah-5ba3b720b?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app
2. On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dounia_dbh_bip?igsh=cXJidTd3cGxjcDdy&utm_source=qr
3. On TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@douniadbhbip?_t=8oldi9r0xcr&_r=1
4. On Youtube: https://youtube.com/@chasingmyheropodcast-l5x?si=H1ZZGH5rb87qDMdx