The Myth of Self-Advocacy: Beyond the Girl Boss Industrial Complex

We did everything the playbook told us to do—the salary negotiations, the networking, the "leaning in." Why are we still hitting a wall?

IN THIS EPISODE Aparna and Lars are joined by technologist and community builder Hala Saleh to dismantle the myth of self-advocacy. We look back at the era of the "Girl Boss" and the "Queen Bee" to ask: Is individual advancement enough when the system itself is designed to exhaust us? Hala introduces us to mutual aid at work as a survival strategy, moving from "advocating for myself" to "building for each other." From "ghost" job postings to the hierarchy of reciprocity, this episode is a roadmap for those ready to trade professional isolation for collective power.

THE QUESTION WE'RE SITTING WITH When the system is designed to exhaust you individually, what does it mean to win together?

TAKE THIS WITH YOU

• Identify the Reciprocity Gap: Burnout often stems from a lack of reciprocity - where you give 150% and receive only "pennies" in return.
• Hire Your Friends: If you have the power to make spending decisions, use that resource to provide work for those in your community who need it.
• Speak the Name: Commit to speaking someone’s name in a room where they deserve to be acknowledged, recommended, or promoted.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Ya Hala — Hala’s community space built around connection and care - https://www.yahalaseattle.com/
• Entitled by Kate Manne — A look at gender dynamics and the pressure on women to "give" without receiving - https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/608442/entitled-by-kate-manne/
• Tech for Palestine & UpScrolled — Examples of alternative platforms built on collective care - https://techforpalestine.org/ | https://upscrolled.com/en/

CONNECT WITH US

Visit us at https://www.circleback.club/

Hala: https://www.linkedin.com/in/halasaleh/; https://halasaleh.substack.com/

Aparna on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/aparnarae; aparnarae.com

Lars on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/lars-gallien; https://www.larsgallien.com/

We’ve been taught to treat our bodies as mere vehicles that carry our brains to the next meeting, but our soma is actually our most reliable intelligence system.

IN THIS EPISODE Aparna and Lars are joined by master somatic coach Giulio Brunini to discuss the profound consequences of overriding our physical signals for the sake of corporate performance. We dive into why "restless toes" and autoimmune flares are often the body’s way of writing a diary of our stress before our minds even recognize the burnout. Giulio shares his transition from the high-pressure world of global advertising to somatic coaching, explaining how leaders can unlearn the "numbing" that got them promoted and instead develop the inner stability needed to lead with presence. This is a slower, intentional conversation about recovering our humanity in a world that asks us to muscle through everything.

THE QUESTION WE'RE SITTING WITH What is your body trying to tell you that your mind isn't yet willing to hear?

TAKE THIS WITH YOU

• The One-Minute Breath Count: Set a timer for one minute and count how many normal inhales and exhales you take. Knowing your "number" makes meditation feel accessible even during a busy workday.
• Notice the "Inconvenience": Pay attention to the physical sensations that arise when you are avoiding a difficult conversation; embodiment often surfaces the truths that are inconvenient for the ego but necessary for growth.
• The Laptop Pause: Before you open your laptop in the morning, take three intentional breaths and notice one sensation in your body—no fixing, just saying hello.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Giulio Brunini — Master Somatic Coach specializing in embodied leadership - https://www.giuliobrunini.com/about-giulio-brunini
• The Strozzi Institute — An institute for somatics and leadership. - https://strozziinstitute.org/
• Dr. Gabor Maté — Researcher and author discussed regarding the link between stress and autoimmune disorders - https://drgabormate.com/

CONNECT WITH US

Visit us at https://www.circleback.club/

Aparna on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/aparnarae; aparnarae.com

Lars on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lars-gallien; https://www.larsgallien.com/

Want to bring this conversation into your organization? Aparna and Lars speak at HR conferences, Fortune 1000 ERGs, and philanthropic foundations. pod@circleback.club

We’ve rebranded workplace depression as "burnout" and personal failure, but the data shows the harm is actually by design.

IN THIS EPISODE

Aparna and Lars are joined by organizational psychologist Dr. Nicole DeKay to go where most U.S. workplace conversations are afraid to go: Psychosocial Hazards. While countries like Australia and New Zealand legally regulate things like "intrusive surveillance," "overload," and "poor change management," the U.S. remains a global outlier in worker neglect. We break down the "Vitality Curve" - a Jack Welch-era relic that forces managers to fire 10% of their team regardless of performance - and why PIPs (Performance Improvement Plans) have become a gaslighting tool to document layoffs. This isn’t about needing more "grit" or a better gratitude journal; it’s about naming the systemic conditions that cause measurable physical and psychological harm.

THE QUESTION WE'RE SITTING WITH

If the U.S. is one of the wealthiest nations on Earth, why do we have fewer legal protections against workplace trauma than almost any of our global peers?

TAKE THIS WITH YOU

• Identify the Hazard: Review the 17 global psychosocial hazards (like low job control or high emotional labor) and identify which one is currently triggering your body’s stress response.
• Question the PIP: If you or a colleague are put on a PIP out of nowhere, recognize it for what it often is—a liability-driven documentation tool—and prioritize your exit strategy over your "performance."
• Break the Isolation: Talk to one trusted coworker about a specific work condition that feels untenable; breaking the "hyper-isolation" of the U.S. workplace is the first step toward collective power.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Labor Rights Index — WageIndicator Foundation - https://wageindicator.org/work/labour-law/index/
• Humanalysts — Dr. Nicole DeKay’s platform for democratizing employee data - https://www.humanalysts.com/
• The Vitality Curve — The controversial "rank and yank" management practice popularized by GE - https://www.business.com/articles/the-end-of-rank-and-yank-management-practices-revisited/

CONNECT WITH US

Visit us at https://www.circleback.club/

Nicole on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicolejdekay/

Aparna on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/aparnarae; aparnarae.com

Lars on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lars-gallien; http://larsgallien.com/

Want to bring this conversation into your organization? Aparna and Lars speak at HR conferences, Fortune 1000 ERGs, and philanthropic foundations. pod@circleback.club