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Season 1 — Pornography in Context

Why do certain sexual fantasies stick with us? Why do some feel confusing, shameful, or “too much”? And what do our erotic imaginations reveal about belonging, attachment, and emotional needs?

In this intimate and deeply validating episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce sits down with her longtime mentor and supervisor, Dr. Claire Malantine, an internationally recognized therapist, speaker, and award-winning author. Together, they unravel the psychology, neuroscience, and relational meaning behind sexual fantasy, desire, and the porn we’re drawn to.

This episode is a compassionate exploration of why fantasy is a normal, healthy part of human sexuality—and how understanding it can create safety, connection, and better communication in relationships.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why fantasy ≠ intent — and why most fantasies are never meant to be acted out
• How attachment needs like belonging, being wanted, and feeling loved shape erotic imagination
• Why partners can feel threatened by fantasy or porn—and the attachment injuries underneath
• How shame, secrecy, and moral messages distort fantasy and desire
• Why viewing fantasy through behavior-only “addiction” models misses the deeper emotional story
• How to talk about porn and fantasy in relationships without fear, jealousy, or shutdown
• Why exploration and curiosity strengthen intimacy, safety, and erotic flexibility
• How consensual non-consent, BDSM, voyeurism, exhibitionism, and taboo fantasies function psychologically
• Why these fantasies are common—especially among women—and almost never pathological
• The neuroscience of fantasy: dopamine, oxytocin, reward loops, and why the brain revisits certain themes
• When fantasy is healthy, when it’s a coping strategy, and when additional support is needed
• How to help children and teens navigate early exposure to porn with safety—not shame
• Why parents must separate adult interpretation from child development when kids encounter explicit content
• How therapists can become safer guides by addressing their own discomfort around sexual topics

Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel shame, confusion, or curiosity about their fantasies
• Want to talk more openly with their partner about porn and desire
• Grew up with conservative, purity-based sexual messaging
• Are healing attachment injuries or betrayal around pornography
• Want a science-based, sex-positive understanding of erotic imagination
• Are parents or therapists navigating conversations about porn and sexuality

Mallorie and Claire bring humor, honesty, and clinical wisdom to a conversation most people never get to have—one that reframes fantasy as a window into longing, safety, and emotional connection, not as a sign of brokenness.

If you’ve ever wondered why your fantasies look the way they do—and what they actually mean—this episode will leave you f

Support the show

Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122

Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

Send us a text

Season 1 — Pornography in Context

What actually helps when someone feels their porn use is compulsive, distressing, or out of alignment with their values? And why is treating “porn addiction” more complicated than most people think?

In this solo deep-dive episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce unpacks the most widely used — and most controversial — treatment models for Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB) and problematic pornography use. Instead of moralizing or fear-based narratives, Mallorie brings research, nuance, and real clinical clarity to a topic that affects countless individuals and couples.

From CBT to 12-step programs to trauma-informed somatic work, she explores what the evidence actually says, where the gaps are, and why no single model fits every person or every relationship.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• What OCSB is — and what it isn’t
• Why “porn addiction” isn’t an official diagnosis
• What the latest research reveals about compulsive sexual behavior
• Why CBT currently has the strongest evidence — and its major limitations
• How affect regulation, attachment injuries, and trauma shape porn use
• Why secrecy, shame, and moral distress mimic addiction patterns
• What mindfulness, somatic therapy, and neurobiology offer that CBT doesn’t
• How EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) helps couples rebuild trust and safety
• Why emotionally attuned treatment reduces compulsivity more effectively than shame
• How addiction models like 12-step and Carnes’ 30-task model help some clients — and harm others
• What the Sexual Health Model and TINSA contribute to values-driven, sex-positive healing
• Why individualized, flexible treatment plans matter far more than rigid abstinence goals

Perfect for listeners who:

• Feel overwhelmed, ashamed, or confused about their porn use
• Don’t resonate with “addiction” language
• Grew up with religious or moral messaging around sexuality
• Want a shame-free, scientifically grounded understanding of OCSB
• Are healing from betrayal, secrecy, or emotional disconnection
• Work in mental health and want updated, ethical treatment frameworks

Mallorie breaks down not just the behaviors, but the emotional stories beneath them — the trauma responses, attachment wounds, cultural scripts, and unmet needs that make porn a coping strategy for so many. She emphasizes that healing isn’t about achieving sexual “purity”; it’s about alignment, agency, emotional safety, and values-based sexual choices.

If you’ve ever wondered what actually works in treating porn-related distress — or why different people need radically different approaches — this episode brings clarity, depth, and compassion.

Up next: How to rebuild erotic confidence, connection, and trust after porn-related conflict in relationships.

Support the show

Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122

Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co

Send us a text

Season 1 — Pornography in Context

Why do women often feel more shame around porn use than men? Why do men get labeled dysfunctional while women get labeled “betrayed”? And why are both messages rooted in cultural scripts—not science?

In this follow-up episode of Complex Sex, Dr. Mallorie Sorce and AASECT-certified sex therapist Natasha Helfer dive deeper into Out of Control Sexual Behavior (OCSB)—this time exploring gender differences, research gaps, moral incongruence, and the way religious and conservative cultures shape the meaning we attach to porn.

This is an unfiltered conversation about double standards, sexual shame, erotic autonomy, and how patriarchal conditioning harms everyone—especially women trying to claim their pleasure.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why OCSB is a rare condition—and why most distress around porn has nothing to do with pathology
• How cultural narratives push women to see men’s sexual behavior as betrayal but ignore their own erotic needs
• Why women’s porn use is under-reported—and often shamed into silence
• How gendered scripts shape who’s “allowed” eroticism and who’s punished for it
• Why heterosexual men rarely feel threatened by women’s porn use (and what that reveals)
• How purity culture, modesty teachings, and “good girl” conditioning disconnect women from their erotic selves
• What porn distress actually signals in a relationship—and what it doesn’t
• Why monitoring your partner’s sexual behavior destroys intimacy instead of protecting it
• How couples can move from fear and control to open, grounded, honest sexual communication
• Why the term betrayal trauma is often misapplied—and how that misuse fuels anxiety instead of healing
• How sexual autonomy, fantasy, and self-exploration strengthen intimacy rather than undermine it

Perfect for listeners who:

• Struggle with jealousy, porn anxiety, or feeling “not enough”
• Feel threatened by a partner’s sexuality or fantasies
• Grew up in conservative, modesty-focused, or purity-based cultures
• Want to understand gender differences without stereotypes
• Are deconstructing the porn-addiction lens
• Want healthier conversations about sex, fantasy, and desire

Mallorie and Natasha offer clinical insight, lived experience, and compassionate challenge to help listeners rethink the stories they’ve inherited about gender and sexuality. Their message is clear:

True intimacy can’t flourish where shame, fear, or behavioral policing take the lead.

But when couples create erotic safety, curiosity, and autonomy, pleasure expands—individually and together.

If you’ve ever internalized sexual double standards—or if porn has created conflict in your relationship—this episode will bring clarity, grounding, and real liberation.

Up next: How purity culture still shapes adult sexuality—and how to reclaim your erotic self.

Support the show

Follow Dr. Mallorie Sorce:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmalloriesorce

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mallorie-sorce-8729a1122

Learn more at: https://www.healingheartscounseling.co