Is your opponent in a conflict lying, or do you reject their facts because you don't trust them to tell the truth? You may think that first you believe a fact, and then decide how you feel about the fact. More likely, first you have a feeling, and then, based on that feeling, you decide to believe the fact or not. For example, are you inclined to disbelief facts stated by a politician you don't like, and believe the facts of politicians you like?

Here are ways to decide whether your opponent in a conflict might be telling real facts after all.

Show notes:
episode 42: What connects assumptions, beliefs and intentions in conflicts? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kuJFFWOxng

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Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

Getting along with people improves your happiness. But, maybe you can't find a way to get along with difficult people. They trigger you to react, and that ends up in a conflict. The situation is not hopeless. You already have answers to three helpful questions:
what's your reason for getting along with the difficult person;
how can you be curious about the difficult person's perspective; and
where is the interaction with the difficult person happening?
With your goal, their perspective, and the context, you have the skills to not get into a conflict.

Show notes:
Episode #38 What's more effective than calling out someone you disagree with? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bjA0DMhjh4
Episode #40 Are any ghosts haunting your conflict? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJSQcOGeQFI&t=1s
Episode #114 Is perspective taking a skill that diffuses conflict? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKGq2mHa9Zk&t=4s

In these videos, we show you how to be skilled at conflict, unafraid of conflict, and competent to handle conflict, even if the other person in the conflict doesn't realize you are doing it. Everyone benefits when you are being conflict competent.

Send us a text. We love hearing from you.

Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

Everyone handles conflict somehow. But different conflicts respond to different conflict skills. Your skills gap is the difference between the conflict you have, and your ability to deal with that specific conflict. What's conflict competent at your home may not be appropriate for your work, or friend group.
Reflect on your prior conflicts, and how well your familiar conflict patterns worked out for you. What conflict skills do you need so you can do conflict better? If you want your disagreements well-managed before the conflict gets bad, you'll want to know your skill gaps. Those are the skills to practice when you're calm. Conflict competence improves the quality of your relationships.

Send us a text. We love hearing from you.

Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.