Cookie Girl cover art

Cookie Girl

Cookie Girl

Written by: Xanthe Milton
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"Never has a midlife crisis been so sexy, intimate and funny."


Cate is Cookie Girl, a legendary character in West Londons Notting Hill.

From early years walking around Portobello Market selling cookies from a basket, via a best selling recipe book and popular column, she has worked hard to establish her successful baking business.

But now her mid life crisis has hit hard. Her beloved mum has died which has made her alarmingly aware of her own mortality. She is filled with regret at not having worked harder to make her ambitions as an actress and writer a reality.


Now, she has woken up to the fact that her Dream Guy, husband Dick, is a nightmare. Since being forced to give up his career as a credible musician to become a jingle writer, the only pleasure he gets is from drinking and parting which he does to excess. Terrorised by her two young daughters and with little support, Cate is desperate to escape. Then she meets neighbour Boy, still in his 20's... Is he just the distraction she needs? Or is he about to blow her life into tiny pieces?


Cookie Girl is a fictional comedy drama directed and written by Xanthe Milton with additional material by the cast. Who are; Xanthe Milton, Zeb Jameson, Henry Gatehouse, Juliet Cowan, Diane Langley, Simon Wilson Stephens, Jenny Dyke, Cosy & Teddy Jameson. It was edited by Zeb Jameson and produced by Juliane Wilson Stephens.


All music was written, produced & performed by Zeb Jameson & Mo Morris, ‘A Mountain of One’.


For visual content go to: @realcookiegirl on Instagram

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Xanthe Milton Drama & Plays
Episodes
  • Squirrel

    Squirrel
    Feb 25 2022

    Cookie Girl is a skewed fairy tale character. She is surrounded by animals much like a Disney Princess. But her pet chicken pisses people off by drinking booze from their glasses, the baby bird they saved life is hanging by a thread and the squirrel in her garden seems to be inhabited by her dead mum.


    Behind the scenes of her successful media image she will expose us to the seamy underbelly of the baking world. Don’t be fooled by her instagram shots, push back from the frame and see the real ‘story’. The mess and chaos is a reflection of her inner world. Her cakes may look like they could be served at Versailles, but what were her and Boy doing with that piping bag and did they wipe down the kitchen Island afterwards? Cookies spiked with hallucinogens, phallic cupcakes and tuna in the biscuit mix, all conjured up in a kitchen that is far from hygienic. And are there really elves doing her baking, are the gingerbread men & women actually making babies Is it all a symptom of her drug use or just a sign that she is on the verge of a mental breakdown?

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    37 mins
  • Eggs

    Eggs
    Mar 19 2022
    Cookie Girl's life is falling apart. Since having kids and realising that Dick, her supposed Dream Guy is actually a nightmare her world has come off its axis. The promise of success that was so close she could taste it has turned to ash in her mouth. Despite looking impressive on social media her baking business is crumbling. She is desperate for freedom and searching for a way out. But is she looking in all the wrong places? She is becoming more and more distracted by Boy, her 24 neighbour, using random gifts as an excuse to hang out with him. Now, is an accidental touch about to move their relationship on to the next level?

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    28 mins
  • Secret Garden

    Secret Garden
    Apr 17 2022

    Cookie Girl Cate, may live in London, but stepping through her home you enter a magical realm. A communal garden that she is lucky enough to share with her best friends and neighbours. And within it, an enchanted glade, hidden from prying eyes, the Secret Garden is the perfect place to meet someone you shouldn’t be seen with…

    Cate is coming undone. Since Boys made it clear she doesn't need to use a script as an excuse to say dirty things to him, she's finally abandoned that idea. But how much longer can she hold herself back from it developing into something more than she can manage, and does she even want to? Sure she told him a little white lie about being single, but Dick does so little with the kids it’s pretty much true. And heaven knows if she could afford to leave him she would. The prospects of that happening are looking less and less likely as her business slips further into chaos. She is now terrified of the fallout from sending a box of 'tuna spiked' banana cupcake to one of the most influential YouTubers in the country.

    Mummy squirrel is admonishing her for oversharing, after promising to help with the kids Dick is once again proving 'Dick by name, dick by nature'. Cate's dream of freshly laid eggs from her new pet Suzie has not come true and she's left wondering is it possible she's menopausal?


    Now, as if she hasn't got enough of a menagerie on her hands. Her kids have drawn her into saving a baby bird which seems a lost cause. But at least it's an excuse to spend more time with Boy.

    The only thing is, when shes not with, he's all she can think about which means that everything else in her life is falling apart.

    Sometimes she can't believe that their time together is real and not a fantasy. Surely there's nothing wrong with her recording their dalliances as a way of reminding herself that it is all happening in real life....

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    34 mins
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