Therapist and author Sam Jolman joins Bridgett and Lauren to unpack what most Christians were never taught about sexual arousal - and why it matters for dating, marriage, and your relationship with your own body. Sam defines sex as a form of play and awe - something the church rarely frames that way. He explains arousal non-concordance, breaks down how arousal and desire actually work, and offers a grounded, faith-informed perspective on how to relate to your body without shame.

What this episode covers:

• The difference between arousal and desire - and why confusing them leads to shame
• Why noticing beauty in another person is not the same as lust
• What "stewarding your arousal" looks like in real life, including after breakups
• How men tend to disconnect from their hearts around sex, and women from their bodies
• Why the "point of no return" myth harms both men and women
• How setting clear physical boundaries in dating creates safety and presence - not restriction
• Why being able to talk about a sexual experience out loud is a sign you've built enough trust to participate in it
• The story of a husband who stopped during sex because his wife seemed distant - and why that mattered
• How to respond to your own arousal with curiosity instead of panic or suppression

Bridgett shares her own experience navigating arousal and grief after a breakup, and the three discuss practical ways to have honest conversations about physical boundaries in Christian dating.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/drL1Mf5hhYE

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If you're a Christian who wants to date with clarity and self-awareness, this is where you start.

📱Follow ⁠⁠@datinganddesire⁠⁠ on Instagram for updates and conversation.

==Sam Jolman, therapist and author of The Sex Talk You Never Got, gives honest, practical answers rooted in Scripture and decades of counseling.

Connect with Sam

Substack | samjolman.substack.com

Instagram | @samjolman

Website | samjolman.comArticle "How to Bless Arousal"

==

Connect with Bridgett: ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠

⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ | Coaching| Free Resources| RECLAIM Cohort📓Get the free ⁠⁠Value-Based Boundaries in Dating Guide⁠⁠

==

Connect with Lauren: ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠Website⁠⁠

Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing. ⁠⁠Get the free guide here!

Longing makes dating feel risky because something real is on the line. In this episode, Bridgett and Lauren discuss the fears that surface when desire goes unmet - including the lies about God's character, your appearance, and your worth. Lauren explains how she rebuilt her sense of beauty apart from whether any man chose her. Bridgett shares how she learned to stop putting all the weight of her longing on one person. They also talk about saying what you need early, how to handle misalignment without making the other person the enemy, and why courage matters more than outcome. Honest, grounded conversation for anyone who takes both faith and relationships seriously.==

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/he76ms6jlE0

==

If you're a Christian who wants to date with clarity and self-awareness, this is where you start.

📱Follow ⁠@datinganddesire⁠ on Instagram for updates and conversation.

==

Connect with Bridgett: ⁠Instagram⁠

⁠Website⁠ | Coaching| Free Resources| RECLAIM Cohort📓Get the free ⁠Value-Based Boundaries in Dating Guide⁠

==

Connect with Lauren: ⁠Instagram⁠ | ⁠Website⁠

Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing. ⁠Get the free guide here!

Many Christians grew up hearing that desire was dangerous. That their bodies couldn't be trusted. That rigid rules were the path to purity.

In this episode, biblical trauma-informed coach Courtney Leo unpacks four specific distortions that came out of purity culture—and how they continue to affect both singles and married people today.

Courtney, Bridgett, and Lauren discuss:

• Why desire and lust are not the same thing

• How shutting down sexual arousal often shuts down joy and delight too

• The difference between managing your body and living in it

• Why boundaries rooted in fear don't protect you - they isolate you

They also tackle the hard question of what sin actually means when Scripture is clear in some areas and personal conviction matters in others.

If you've ever felt numb, confused, or ashamed about what you want, this episode offers a path back to trust - with your body, with the Holy Spirit, and with yourself.

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Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/HPsTyidXrwM

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📱Follow ⁠@datinganddesire⁠ on Instagram for updates and conversation.

==Connect with Courtney: Website | Instagram | Coaching==

Connect with Bridgett: ⁠Instagram⁠

⁠Website⁠ | Coaching| Free Resources| RECLAIM Cohort📓Get the free ⁠Value-Based Boundaries in Dating Guide⁠

==

Connect with Lauren: ⁠Instagram⁠ | ⁠Website⁠

Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing. ⁠Get the free guide here!