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Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Written by: Nina Badzin
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Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship is for anyone who wants to make sense of the gray areas of adult friendship---changed closeness, uneven effort, group dynamics, hurt feelings, and what to say and do next. As Nina always says, "Friendship issues are ageless and timeless." You can listen and relate to these topics no matter your age or your stage of life.

And Dear Nina is a top 1% podcast so we know people of all ages are listening!

Whether you've agonized over a text, wondered why you're always the one reaching out, or found yourself drifting away from an old friend—this show gets it and we're here to discuss it all. Note--these are conversations, not classic interviews. We're serious and practical, but we laugh a lot too!

"Dear Nina" is hosted by Nina Badzin, who has been answering anonymous questions with "warm directness" in her friendship column since 2014. Every episode digs into the messy and sometimes maddening questions adults don't always want to ask out loud. Should you salvage a friendship that's fading or let it be? How do you kindly turn down an acquaintance who wants to be closer, but you're just not feeling the same chemistry?

We talk about being the single friend in a coupled-up world, the grief of losing a friend to illness or a falling out, and what it means to be included in a friend group but not quite feel like you belong—whether that's happening to you or to your kid.

Nina has been writing about friendship for over a decade, and her advice has been featured in NPR, Real Simple Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, Time Magazine, The Skimm, and more.

Every episode leaves room for the fact that there are no perfect answers. There's only real talk here, a lot of warmth, and the reminder that if you're overthinking your friendships, you're probably just someone who cares deeply about the people in your life.

That's a good thing. Social connections MATTER deeply for your health and happiness! Let's talk about how to make it all easier.


ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO


!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify

📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes!

📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com

🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.

© 2024 Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship Hygiene & Healthy Living Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Relationships Self-Help Social Sciences Success
Episodes
  • #201 - A Softer Way to Think About Friendships That Faded (Rebecca Kotok)

    #201 - A Softer Way to Think About Friendships That Faded (Rebecca Kotok)
    Jul 5 2026
    How age, loss, and experience can change the way we see friendships from the past


    This week I’m joined by one of my very best friends, Rebecca Kotok, a public school counselor in Maryland and one of the most popular guests in the history of Dear Nina.

    Rebecca was first on the show in episode 34, where we talked about our friendship breakup in our 20s and our reconciliation. This time, we’re talking about a different kind of friendship shift: the way approaching 50, loss, and life experiences can soften how we think about friendships that faded, old hurts, and the stories we’ve been carrying for years.

    This episode is not about ignoring bad behavior or letting every person back into your life. But Rebecca and I talk about the peace that can come from no longer needing to prosecute every old friendship case in your mind over and over again until the end of time.

    We talked about:


    • Why friendship breakups and faded friendships can carry so much shame

    • How midlife can change the way we understand old friendship disappointments

    • Why some friendships fade without anyone being "the villain"

    • The difference between being right and being at peace

    • How grief and life experience can make us more generous toward other people

    • Why you don’t have to reconnect with someone to think about them more positively

    • How gratitude, reflection, and therapy can help if a softer, more positive mindset does not come naturally


    One of my favorite ideas from Rebecca was that she now attributes perceived slights much less to someone’s character and much more to what that person may have been carrying. That feels like a wiser and "softer" way to move through the world.

    Previous episodes mentioned:
    • Episode #34: The breakup and reconciliation (with Rebecca Kotok)
    • Episode #125: The 10% Rule in Friendship and the Negativity Bias (with Ann Imig)



    ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO


    !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify

    📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina

    🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events

    🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes!

    📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack

    ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group

    📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question

    📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com

    🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.



    Thank you to this week's sponsor: SINCERENOTES. SincereNotes is available to download free on Google Play and App store. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
    Show More Show Less
    31 mins
  • Bonus - An Episode Honoring Jill Smokler: Friendship, Cancer, and Community

    Bonus - An Episode Honoring Jill Smokler: Friendship, Cancer, and Community
    Jun 28 2026
    My friend, Jill Smokler, touched so many lives. If you loved Jill, I hope hearing her voice is a comfort. If you didn’t know her, I hope this episode gives you a glimpse of why countless longtime followers, fans, and friends felt deeply connected to her candor and warmth.This bonus episode of Dear Nina is a replay of a conversation Jill asked me to record with her in the summer of 2024, soon after she was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer. Jill died on June 22, 2026, and I’m sharing this conversation again around what would have been her 49th birthday.Jill was a certain kind of famous—not movie-star famous, but very known in a way that mattered. Her work and her support of so many writers and readers helped women feel less alone starting with her groundbreaking blog, Scary Mommy. She continued in that supportive role after she sold Scary Mommy and publicly figured out her next move, which included her podcast and online magazine, She's Got Issues, which gave an honest voice to midlife.I knew Jill first from Washington University in St. Louis, where we met as freshmen, but our friendship and professional relationship grew much more in adulthood. We collaborated in our work over the years, and I credit Jill with helping me understand what writing on the internet could be.Jill was proud of this conversation we had two years ago. You will hear her humor, her honesty, and her way of making room for the awful and the absurd at the same time. Jill spoke frankly about her diagnosis and what it felt like to receive an outpouring of love from people who knew her in every era of her life: childhood, college, parenting, work, and of course from her massive online community.We also discussed what friendship looks like in a crisis: what helped, what didn’t, and what she wished people understood. Jill was especially clear about the value of brief, consistent check-ins with no expectation of a reply and the practical relief of meals and DoorDash gift cards.Jill also reflected on her children, her best friend, the friendships she built over a lifetime, and the future she felt robbed of getting to enjoy. It's a heartbreaking, funny, blunt, generous, and "pure Jill" episode.Thank you for listening, and for helping me honor Jill.Links mentioned:Jill's official obituary where you can leave comments for her family to read.The June 23rd, 2026 NYT piece about Jill (gift link)The today.com piece I mentioned in 2024 about Jill's diagnosis and the rise of Scary MommyJill's books: Confessions of a Scary Mommy, Motherhood Comes Naturally and Other Lies, and Scary Mommy's Guide to Surviving the HolidaysMy visits on She's Got Issues mentioned in this episode: "Friendship-- Mistakes & Hard Lessons Learned" and "Friendship Breakups: Accepting When a Friendship is Over"Jill's previous visit to Dear Nina: "Old School Blogging Friendships"Kate Bowler's book, No Cure For Being Human (And Other Truths I Need to Hear) ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes!📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: SINCERENOTES. SincereNotes is available to download free on Google Play and App store. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
    Show More Show Less
    39 mins
  • #200 - Why Talking to Strangers is Good for Your Friendships (Dr. Gillian Sandstrom)

    #200 - Why Talking to Strangers is Good for Your Friendships (Dr. Gillian Sandstrom)
    Jun 21 2026
    How small talk, "loose ties," and everyday conversations help us feel more connectedFor episode #200 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I’m joined by Dr. Gillian Sandstrom, an associate professor in the Psychology of Kindness at the University of Sussex and author of Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How Small Talk Can Add Up to a Big Life.I came into this conversation a little wary. Do I really want to talk to more strangers? On airplanes? At Trader Joe’s? When I’m trying to get through my errands and keep moving? But Gillian’s research—and her very practical way of talking about it—made a strong case for why these small, low-stakes interactions matter.This episode is not about forcing every stranger into a future friendship. It’s about remembering that every friend was once a stranger, and that talking to people we don’t know gives us practice with the exact skills good friendships require: handling uncertainty, risking rejection, asking better questions, listening, ending conversations kindly, and staying open to other people.Gillian also explains why small talk is not as pointless as it can seem, why people usually like us more than we think they do, and why even brief moments of connection can change the way we move through the world.WE TALKED ABOUT:• Why talking to strangers is connected to making and keeping friends• The “liking gap” and why we often underestimate how much people enjoyed talking to us• How strangers can be lower-stakes practice for friendship skills• Why small talk can feel awkward, boring, or inefficient—and why it still matters• Gillian’s “QUICK” method for starting conversations: questions, in common, and kindness• How to politely end a conversation without pretending you need to take a call• The difference between strangers, acquaintances, weak ties, loose ties, and “fringe-ships”• Why we sometimes disclose more easily to strangers than to close friends• The awkwardness of reaching out to an old friend who now feels like a stranger• Why talking to strangers can make the world feel safer, warmer, and more human One idea from Gillian I especially loved: not every interaction has to be transformative to be worthwhile. Like movies, not every conversation will be "amazing." Some will be forgettable and will be average, but over time, these small moments add up to something meaningful. In a world that often feels increasingly impersonal and distracted, I found that idea pretty convincing. Meet Dr. Gillian Sandstrom: Gillian Sandstrom is an associate professor in the psychology of kindness at the University of Sussex and author of Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How 'Small' Talk Can Add Up To a Big Life. Her research has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Atlantic, and has been covered by other outlets around the world. She has been interviewed for major podcasts and radio shows, including Hidden Brain, NPR's Life Kit, and Claudia Hammond's All in the Mind. She lives in Brighton, England. Find her on LinkedIn and Instagram. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes!📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here.Thank you to this week's sponsor: SINCERENOTES. SincereNotes is available to download free on Google Play and App store. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs!
    Show More Show Less
    42 mins
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