In this episode of Death Virgin, Kristen starts the year by reading a full, unruly, prickly, and deeply human obituary—one that refuses to smooth the edges of a life well lived.

The obituary of Doris McClintock (1939–2025) is funny, specific, political, tender, stubborn, and alive with detail: pine boxes, black bears, arthritis, grudges, gardens, community, and the refusal to romanticize old age or death. From there, Kristen wanders—lovingly—through pumpkin pie, Yankees, Thanksgiving rules, avoidance strategies, and the long, strange history of obituaries themselves.

This episode explores:

1. How obituaries evolved from elite death notices to public mourning texts
2. Who gets remembered in the historical record—and who gets erased
3. Why euphemisms for death may soften truth rather than honor it
4. Susan Sontag, silence, moral control, and why smoothing edges can do harm
5. Obituaries as political documents, especially for marginalized lives
6. The ethics of writing your own obituary (and whether anyone has to tell the truth for you)
7. Humor as a survival tool when talking about death
8. Why writing your own obituary might not be about closure—but permission

Kristen also introduces a new Death Virgin obituary-writing exercise, including a Mad Lib–style worksheet designed not as a “final draft,” but as a playful, revealing warm-up—something to do alone, or better yet, with others.

Because maybe an obituary isn’t meant to close the book.

Maybe it’s meant to leave it cracked open.

Referenced & Recommended:

1. OBIT (dir. Vanessa Gould)
2. The Deadbeat by Marilyn Johnson
3. Susan Sontag on language, illness, and moral control
4. Merle Haggard, E.B. White, Monty Python, Eminem (yes, really)

Content note: This episode references death, illness, murder, and contemporary violence.

Rest in peace, Doris McClintock.

Kristen welcomes her first guest, Thao, for an honest conversation about friendship, grief, and the journey through loss. Together, they reflect on their shared history, the evolution of their friendship, and Thao’s recent experience of losing her brother. The episode explores cultural rituals, the physicality of grief, and the importance of storytelling in healing.

Where were you when? When Kennedy was shot? When The Challenger exploded? When 14 people were killed in the Swiss parliament? On September 11, 2001?

In this episode, Kristen talks about her own second-hand experiences when she found herself living in Manhattan when the Twin Towers were hit, the concepts of private vs. communal grief, and why we all feel compelled to share "I was there ..." when a tragedy (or notable celebration or event) occurs.