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Delight Your Marriage

Delight Your Marriage

Written by: Belah Rose | Christ-centered Author Coach & Marriage Intimacy Expert
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 Husbands and wives were designed to be different. You want different things in marriage and intimacy on every level (emotional, spiritual, and physical). Whether you're a wife or a husband, whether you're suffering or pretty good... and you're looking for Bible-based insights and scriptural practical guidance on how to transform your marriage, you've found the right podcast! We have "transformation stories" that will inspire hope that putting into practice these principles, by God's grace, can truly change your intimacy completely. If you're looking to see how to transform your marriage sign up for a free Clarity Call, we can hear your story and work with you to determine if we are confident we can help you: https://www.delightyourmarriage.com/cc(c) Delight Your Marriage Christianity Hygiene & Healthy Living Ministry & Evangelism Spirituality
Episodes
  • 518-Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations

    518-Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations
    Jan 23 2026
    Husbands, Draw Her Back: Order of Operations Gentlemen, you have likely heard that you are meant to be the leader of your home. You've likely heard it from the pulpit, maybe from your own family. We know there's been some confusion around that in culture, asking men to take a back seat or not be as assertive and lead–even though it is their God-given design. But we fully believe that it is the biblical design for men and that it is good for men to take up their role. And you likely have a deep sense that this is how it's meant to be as well. But what happens when the people you are meant to lead... aren't following? Your family. Particularly, your wife. What if you are doing all the right things–trying to make good decisions for your family, trying to make sure they are safe, healthy, and provided for, trying to think of the future and what is going to be needed...and your wife is just disregarding it all. In fact, she's trying to take the reins and lead herself. Maybe it even feels like she's trying to make you obsolete. In this episode, we are diving into why women often feel the need to control and how you as a husband can help shift the culture of your home, draw her back, and have the marriage you've always wanted–with a wife that trusts you, supports you, and is cheering you on. A Tale of Two Marriages If you have been around Delight Your Marriage a while, you might know part of the back story–married very young, determined to be a submissive wife, did everything a good Christian woman is supposed to do. And yet there was discord. There was quarreling. There was strife. There was even competition. There was a feeling of never being good enough, let alone cherished. There ended up being a filing for divorce (something to plead the blood of Jesus over) and walking away from God for a period of time. The hurt was severe. Everything had been done right, how did it go so wrong? Then came meeting Darrow. Even in dating, it was so different than anything before. After years of feeling uneasy, uncared for, and on edge– there was finally safety. Yes, physical safety, but also emotional safety. Safe to share and not be ridiculed. Safe to express emotion and it be received with steadiness, patience, and kindness. Safe to be fully open and not be mocked or shamed. That tenderness and kindness brought safety. And that safety led to trust. How to Lead a Leader As marriage went on, certain things arose. He wasn't taking as much initiative as before. He wouldn't get things done that needed to get done. He wasn't leading. But this time it was different. There was a realization: He actually didn't have permission to lead. It had not fully been given to him. There was still control, and that made him feel angry and apathetic, like "Why even try?" So, the response changed. No more steering the ship. No more hands on the reins. He is the leader. And now, there is so much more happiness and rest. But it was only because he had shown his character–that he is a trustworthy person, that he is safe–that there was even confidence to be able to allow him to lead. That confidence was not there in the first marriage. There was no safety. There was fear and unrest, and so control was the answer. Think of an animal that feels scared–is the best way to get them to follow you to continue being tough and assertive? Or is it to show that you are gentle and they will be safe with you? So, What Needs To Happen First To Draw Your Wife Back? So then, what draws your wife back? It looks something like this: Establish Safety She must be emotionally, spiritually, and physically safe. She is safe to open up. She is safe to express. She knows she is going to be accepted fully as she is. What if you can't accept her fully as she is? What if you are waiting for her to change and then, you can fully love her? If that is where you're at, consider what Christ did for you. "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:6-8 (NIV) Christ did not wait for us to be perfect in order to love us. And if you, men, are called to love your wives as Christ loved the church, it means loving her always, no matter the circumstance. Love her regardless and establish that safety. Grow in your relationship with Christ. Truly exemplify the fruit of the Spirit (remember patience :)). Slowly Reestablish Jesus-Like Leadership In all things, lead from love. If you have great leadership, but have not love, it is "but a clanging cymbal" (1 Cor. 13:1) For more insight on drawing your wife back, take a listen to today's podcast. A Final Encouragement Dear men, we want you to take up the mantle of leadership. In your workplaces, in your churches, in your families. But your wife needs ...
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    37 mins
  • 517-From "You Were Never There for Me, Dad" to "I Want to Marry a Man Like You"

    517-From "You Were Never There for Me, Dad" to "I Want to Marry a Man Like You"
    Jan 17 2026
    It is our honor and privilege to have Charles on the podcast with us today. Many of you have maybe already spoken to Charles. He serves as one of our Clarity Advisors here at Delight Your Marriage and has done an incredible job of listening to your stories and giving you next steps, but most importantly, giving you hope. What you might not know about Charles is that he spent many years as a very successful businessman. I mean, he was (and is!) a force! And that's what people saw on the outside: 40 years in business, two homes, active in ministry, a wife of 3o years, two grown children. Everything looked perfect. But it wasn't the full picture. "On Paper, We Had Everything… But We Were Just Roommates" The full picture was that Charles was in pain. His marriage was suffering. He felt like they had become roommates and the intimacy and connection wasn't there. His daughter, after watching her parents fight yet again, brought up to him that "all you and mom do is fight". She didn't feel safe and their relationship was strained, so much so that she even mentioned she would prefer he not be the one to solely walk her down the aisle when the day came. There was pain, true pain. That moment with his daughter became a turning point. He cried out to God. And God answered. Finding the Delight Your Marriage Podcast Charles found the Delight Your Marriage podcast—and after only two episodes, he booked a Clarity Call and jumped in. What followed wasn't easy. It required humility. Repentance. Unlearning cultural "norms" that were never biblical to begin with. But what he discovered was sobering and freeing all at once: Being a provider is not the same as being present Strength without gentleness hardens the heart Leadership without humility blocks intimacy—with your spouse and with God And slowly—steadily—everything began to change. When a Daughter Finally Feels Safe One of the most profound transformations wasn't just in Charles' marriage—it was in his relationship with his daughter. Years earlier, she had told him, "Why can't you be like my friend's dad?" Instead of defending himself, Charles did something radically different. He listened. He apologized and owned the pain he had caused. And he stayed emotionally present instead of shutting down, like he had done in the past. That conversation marked the beginning of healing. Fast forward to this past Christmas, two years after starting this program, his daughter handed him a card. Inside, she wrote: "Every day you bless me so abundantly with peace and security of knowing you have me… I hope my future husband is even half of what you are to me." That card became the most valuable gift Charles has ever received, and he saw, even more, how the changes he had made changed the trajectory of his family. A Marriage Built on The Rock Charles often says something that shocks people: "I would give it all away for a shack on a rock if it meant having what we have now." Why? Because before, his marriage was built on cardboard and duct tape, as he says. Cultural assumptions, pride, and survival mode. Now, it's built on the Rock. Biblical wisdom. Daily repentance. Practical tools. Accountability. Peace. Life Now as a Clarity Advisor Charles' story doesn't end with his own marriage. Today, he serves as a Clarity Advisor, walking alongside other men and women who feel stuck, hopeless, or unsure where to begin. He's seen: Wives move back into homes after separation Pornography addictions broken Years-long intimacy restored Homes transformed by peace And now, pastors are bringing Delight Your Marriage Academy into their churches—because the need is everywhere, including globally. Final Encouragement Now, two years later, Charles' marriage is completely transformed, his relationship with his daughter is completely transformed, and he, himself, is completely transformed. God has truly turned mourning into dancing. This is not a one-off event. This is the God we serve–who heals marriages and changes lives, who heals hearts and minds, who redeems families and generations. He cares. He cares deeply about Charles and answered his cry. And He cares about you. If you are waiting for an answer from God, maybe this is the answer. Maybe calling and taking that next step is the answer. We are rooting for you and we love you. God bless you! Blessings, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - If you want to take the next step and chat with our incredible Clarity Advisors, like Charles, schedule a free Clarity Call here. We would love to talk with you. PPS - Here is a quote from a recent DYM Academy graduate: "I thought this was well presented and very comprehensive. The clarity of what women need to be safe, known and wholeheartedly cherished was spot on. I understood the basics but seeing it formalized was really beneficial to me. The listening skills and the way they were presented cannot be overstated."
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    47 mins
  • 516-A Pastor with a "Prostitute" Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry's Story

    516-A Pastor with a "Prostitute" Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry's Story
    Jan 10 2026
    516-A Pastor with a "Prostitute" Mindset Changed His Ways: Jerry's Story There's a quiet frustration many good men carry. You've tried to talk. You've tried to suggest counseling, books, podcasts—something. You've even tried explaining your heart. And still… she doesn't seem to listen. Doesn't engage. Doesn't change. If that's you, let me say this gently but clearly: God may be asking you to go first. And yes—that can feel unfair. But it is also where real transformation begins. When You Find Yourself Becoming Someone You Didn't Want to Be One husband recently shared that after nearly three decades of marriage and years of faithful ministry, he found himself in a place he never expected. Not because his marriage had been bad. But because it was changing—and he wasn't prepared. His wife's body was changing. Their season of life was shifting. Transitions piled up. And slowly, something in him hardened. He was becoming "grouchy" and "crusty". He said it plainly: "I just didn't like how I was becoming… and I didn't like how I was treating my wife." That awareness matters. Because most men don't wake up one day intending to pressure, resent, or withdraw. It happens subtly—when expectations go unmet and entitlement slowly but surely begins to creep in. A Marriage That Became Transactional Instead of Sacrifical Many men come to this work believing, "If my wife would just listen… if she would just change… then we'd be okay." But here's the truth that was exposed in this man's life: he was living transactionally. "I didn't realize I was living in a transactional relationship until those transactions weren't happening." In other words: I give love → I expect intimacy. I serve → I expect responsiveness. This man had never thought of himself as transactional—until intimacy slowed and frustration surged. That's when God began to do the deeper work. Take the Focus Off Intimacy to Heal Intimacy One of the most countercultural invitations men hear in this process is simple—and deeply uncomfortable: Take your foot off the gas. Not forever. But for now. Because a woman cannot open her body when her heart doesn't feel safe. She needs to feel safe, known, and wholeheartedly cherished—especially in seasons of vulnerability like menopause, grief, exhaustion, or long-term transition. This husband learned that before asking anything of his wife, God was asking him to rebuild safety. And that required humility. The "Prostitute" Mindset Going through the Masculinity Reclaimed process, this man shared something that he learned that changed everything for him: "[Belah said] you guys are treating your wives like prostitutes. And the fact that you are not making them feel safe. You are not making them feel fully known...and you are not wholeheartedly cherishing your wives. Yet, you know, you flip the switch at...10 o'clock, 11 o'clock at night, and you want intimacy, and you're getting grouchy or whatever when that doesn't happen." He had never seen it this way before, and it changed everything for him. It was painful to hear. And necessary. Because intimacy without safety and care doesn't feel like love to a woman—it feels like obligation. Doing the Work Made a Change in Their Marriage This man didn't tell his wife he was doing the work at first. But she noticed anyway. She noticed the listening. The gentleness. The apologies for things that happened years ago. And eventually, she asked. Change preached is often resisted. Change embodied is felt. Yes, intimacy improved. But that's not what this husband points to as the greatest win. He says the real transformation was internal: Healthier expectations A reordered life A clearer understanding of his responsibility as a man Final Encouragement If you're waiting for your wife to change before you soften… If you're tempted to push, convince, or withdraw… If you're tired of feeling unseen… Hear this: God honors the man who goes first. Not the man who wins the argument. You are not alone. And this is not the end of your story. It may be the beginning of the truest work God has ever done in you. You can do this, sir. God bless you! With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS – Ready to take the next step in renewing your heart and your marriage? We would love to chat with you. Schedule a free Clarity Call with one of our Clarity Advisors, who have all been through the program and have been where you have been. It's time to take the leap. PPS – Wondering just exactly how healthy your own marriage is? Are you also surviving instead of thriving? Take our free Marital Health Assessment and see what your marital score is–and how we can help. PPPS – Here is a quote from (another) recent graduate: "We argued a lot. Said hurtful things to each other. Raised voices in front of the kids. Less emotional connection generally. Sex felt merely physical and not emotionally connected...not fulfilling. Usually felt like duty. And I have always ...
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    47 mins
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