In this epidsode, I give a quick introduction of how Despite The Odds came about, what it is, and what I hope it accomplishes for people going through any type of challenge in life.

My interview with Alvin Law is packed full of wisdom from one of the most confident people I've spoken to despite the fact that he was born with no arms and given up for adoption at birth.  Not only did he overcome being born with no arms, we talk in depth about the lessons he has learned in life overcoming various adversities in his life.

When people spend all of their time blaming someone or something for what happened to them, they give up the positive energy it takes to heal.

No matter your circumstance…..Find your tribe!!!!! 

You will never be attractive to others if you aren’t attractive to yourself.

If you are in an abusive relationship….YOU DON’T NEED TO STAY!!!

Most human being's problems are based in their own lack of confidence in themselves.

It takes courage….not weakness, to ask for help.

It is what it is.  I didn’t ask to be born this way.  It is what it is.  It’s all about accepting your circumstance with class….dignity….and respect.

Mike Arce got himself into debt with collector's calling in his mid 20's.  No matter where you are in life, it is never to late to make a massive change.  He went on to start a 7 figure digital advertising agency in the fitness space with only $500 in the bank in the middle of the great recession.

"The Ripple Effect of Great People"

Everything in life is a gift.  You either treat it as a gift or you treat it as an obstacle depending on how you look at it.

Take responsibility for your own life and your own actions.

Everything is a sign. You will find what you are looking for.

Reality is merely your intention and your attention multiplied.

You don’t have to do extraordinary things to change the world.  You can change the world by doing ordinary things in an extraordinary way.

When you really know what you want, the world is your library.

Whatever struggles you are facing, it could always be worse and it helps to gain perspective from someone like Mike Schlappi who was accidentally shot in the chest at the age of 15 which put him in a wheelchair.  Despite the odds, Mike went on to live a very happy and fulfilling life, raising a beautiful family, winning a gold medal, and becoming a motivational speaker to share his story.

When we face adversity, it’s going to make you weaker or it’s going to make you stronger and you can find purpose in your adversity if that is what you choose.

Sometimes when you have pain, if you can attach a meaning or a purpose to that pain it makes all the difference. 

It’s important to love yourself from the inside out and not the outside in.

When you feel pain, you change and when you change, you grow, and when you grow you see the beauty that is inside of us.  We don’t get our esteem and self-worth from what we are, we get it from who we are.

Importance of positive attitude therapy.  So often we seek for change in our situation, when all we really need to do is change our attitude or our perspective.

It’s ok to have a bad day.  But don’t let a bad day, turn into a bad week, a bad month and then bad years. 

One of the biggest antidotes to any negative thought is gratitude. The other is get to work.  When we are busy, we don’t have time to sit around and get depressed. 

If you resist change you will fail.  If you accept change you will survive.  If you create change you will succeed. 

Find your north star.  Find your anchor.  It might be your family.  If you don’t have that, it might be in a book…..it might be in a podcast. It might be in a friend. (Mark’s input: it could be in a tribe, at a church, in any type of community or volunteer group.)  But we need some place in our lives that we can feel safe. 

We can’t always control what happens to us in life.  But we always have by far the most important choice, how will we respond. How will we react?  If We respond and react properly, we empower ourselves to succeed or fail on or terms

Libby Christenson overcame a chaotic childhood and years of alcohol abuse to go on to become a life coach to help teach others how to live their best lives. 

When you grow up in a chaotic household with any kind of abuse, it stunts your ability to develop important coping mechanisms that are necessary to have as a healthy adult.  The first step to repair the damage done is to recognize and believe that you are deserving of healing and you are deserving of learning better tools for living.

If you need help, don’t try to do it alone. Talk to a therapist or find a community of people who have faced similar struggles as you.  The community piece is so important because you need to see other people that have overcome similar adversities.  When we see other people succeeding at overcoming what you are struggling with, it helps us believe it is possible for ourselves.

If you are struggling with alcohol or drug abuse and you are seeing signs that you need help, listen to your intuition.  You don’t need to wait until it gets as bad as it can get to reach out for help in the form of a 12 step program or a professional, or a family member….or a friend.

Leaning into other people and getting out of yourself and learning how to help others is the healing medicine.

After quitting drinking she was able to see dreams for herself that she was never able to see before. After quitting drinking, she can’t imagine trading the serenity and the peace and the self love that she has today for a night of being drunk.

In this episode, I get some amazing insight on the importance of having a support network for any struggles you are facing from Corrie who overcame a divorce which left her homeless and walking on a partner who had committed suicide in her own home. 

Red flag to realize you are in a toxic/abusive relationship. If you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells.

If you are are in a toxic relationship…..get support. Reach out to friends, family, or a domestic abuse hotline. Outside perspectives help you gain clarity on what you need to get out of it.

Building a network of people who support you when you are in hard seasons in your life in particular is very important.

When people bail on you when you need them, it has nothing to do with you.  That has everything to do with something in them internally, but you still deserve to have somebody there to support you. It’s up to you to lovingly detach from people whose friendships are no longer able to serve you in that capacity that you needed in this new chapter in your life.  It is your responsibility to find people that will be there for you. The alternative is to keep those people in your life and having resentment against them for not being able to deliver what you need at this point in your life. 

Losing someone to suicide is unlike anything else.  You are having to deal with the anger at someone you love that killed themself.  It’s a paradox of love and anger and a whole bunch of different emotions mixed up at once. It’s hard for people that haven’t gone through it to understand and its incredibly important and therapeutic to find a support group that is specific to people who have gone through the same thing. (This applies to any challenge you are going through.  Find a support group of people who have gone through what you are going through to connect with and support you)

In times of tragedy, when you release the people who aren’t there to support you, it frees up so much space and time to allow people who are there to support you to come into your life. 

It’s nobody else’s responsibility to build your confidence other than your own. To build confidence…..get comfortable making yourself uncomfortable. 

Final Send Off:

Try not to resist the changes coming your way. Instead, let life live through you and do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side that you are use to is the better than the one that is to come. 

Books Recommendations: 

Power of Now

Option B

Corrielo.com

Dave Stevens has a remarkable story of being born with no legs, being given up for adoption at birth and overcoming poverty to going on to achieve things that most of us "leggies" will never have the opportunity to do like pinch hitting for Darryl Strawberry and trying out for the Dallas Cowboys. 

Shilpa talks about overcoming sexual abuse at a very young age at the hands of her uncle that was swept under the rug by her family to save the family embarrassment from a very culturally repressive Indian American culture.  She talks about the lessons that she learned after overcoming a suicide attempt and her path to finally finding peace and happiness. 

Molested by her uncle at 8 years old almost committed suicide. 

Important principals of raising kids:

Importance of teaching how to express emotions. Communication is the key to everything.  If kids aren’t finding out from you, they are finding out from somewhere. 

You will never find happiness by trying to be being something that somebody else wants you to be if it’s not what you want to be as well. 

You can build confidence by doing and by surrounding yourself with people that lift you up.  Even if you fail at something, they aren’t truly failures if you are able to frame your failures as lessons. 

There is zero correlation between confidence and what you see when you look in the mirror.  Confidence has to be built from the inside out.  

Whatever struggle you are facing, don’t try to do it alone.  Reach out to family, reach out to friends, find a therapist, or find a community of people who have faced or are currently facing the same struggle you are going through. 

Book Recommendation

Love Without Condition by Paul Freeny

If you can heal the relationship with yourself you can heal your relationship with others and really change your life.

In times of adversity, it can be hard to see past it, but if you can reframe the adversity as a lesson, life will get better but it totally up to you to choose how you perceive it.