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Diary of a ADHD Strategist Podcast

Diary of a ADHD Strategist Podcast

Written by: Hosted by Neurodivergent Business Strategist Eli Dervonte
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What if your Neurodiversity was your Greatest Strength? - Join host Eli Dervonte as he interviews successful entrepreneurs who’ve overcome ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, and Trauma. - Discover how to redefine success and thrive on your own terms. - Find me: http://neuro.dervonte.digital/ Buy me a coffee: https://aiwire.link/buy-me-a-coffee

elidervonte.substack.comElie Dervonte
Economics Hygiene & Healthy Living Leadership Management & Leadership Psychology Psychology & Mental Health
Episodes
  • When Everything Falls Apart (And You’re Still Expected to Hold It Together)
    Jan 20 2026
    There’s this thing that happens when you’re neurodivergent and life decides to absolutely demolish whatever fragile systems you’ve built to keep yourself functional.It’s not just that things fall apart—things fall apart for everyone. It’s that when you’re ND, you’ve spent years (decades, really) engineering these incredibly sophisticated scaffolding systems just to do what other people seem to manage automatically. And when crisis hits? That scaffolding doesn’t just wobble. It disintegrates.Last year taught me this in ways I’m still processing.💭 And by “processing,” I mean “occasionally lying awake at 3 AM wondering how I’m still upright.”The Morning Everything ChangedIt started ordinary enough. My partner was taking the dog out—just another morning routine in our carefully constructed life. Except she mentioned her eyesight wasn’t quite right.💬 “But I’m still going to take the dog out.”Ten minutes later, there’s a knock on the door. Which is weird for that time of morning. Strange enough that my brain flagged it immediately—that’s not right, that’s not the pattern—before I even opened it.She fell through the doorway.I caught her. Called emergency services. Watched as the life we’d been building got loaded into an ambulance.Stroke.She was in hospital for weeks. I stayed with her for two months while she recovered, watching someone I love struggle with tasks that used to be automatic. Watching her face the same kind of cognitive challenges I’ve been navigating my whole life, except hers appeared suddenly, traumatically, without the decades of coping mechanisms I’ve had to develop.💭 There’s something particularly cruel about watching someone you love experience a fraction of what you deal with daily and seeing how hard it is for them. It makes you realize how hard it’s been for you all along. And also how resilient you’ve had to become without even noticing.The Impossible EquationHere’s where the neurodivergent experience gets especially fun during crisis:I’m in London because that’s where work is. My partner and daughter are elsewhere. My daughter is three years old and needs her dad. My partner is recovering from a stroke and needs support. I have ADHD and dyslexia, which means sustained separation from my family while maintaining work responsibilities while managing crisis is...Let me put this mathematically, because sometimes numbers help:Executive Function Required = (Work demands × Physical distance) + (Family crisis × Emotional load) ÷ (Support systems - Geographic isolation) × (Neurodivergent processing challenges)The answer? Does not compute.And yet. Here I am. Computing it anyway. Because what’s the alternative?What Isolation Looks Like When Your Brain Already Feels IsolatedThere’s the regular isolation that everyone talks about—being physically separated from people you love, missing important moments, feeling disconnected.Then there’s neurodivergent isolation during crisis, which is... different.It’s not just being alone. It’s being alone while your brain is screaming for dopamine, for routine, for the exact structures that have just been obliterated. It’s needing to talk through your thoughts to process them (hello, ADHD verbal processing) but being physically separated from your people. It’s needing familiar environments to function optimally but being split between two locations because life demanded it.It’s watching yourself struggle with things you “should” be handling better while simultaneously knowing that of course you’re struggling—your entire support infrastructure just collapsed.💭 The cruel irony: I’ve spent years building systems to support other neurodivergent people, teaching them how to construct sustainable structures for their lives. And then life said “lol no” and knocked mine over like a toddler with blocks.The Mythology of ResiliencePeople love to talk about resilience. Especially when talking about neurodivergent people or people facing challenges. “You’re so resilient!” they say, like it’s a compliment.But here’s what resilience actually looks like in practice:It’s trying to be consistent for the people who’ve asked for your help while your brain is doing backflips trying to remember what day it is.It’s showing up for work calls while calculating whether you have enough executive function left to also remember to eat lunch.It’s being present for your three-year-old daughter during precious video calls while part of your brain is spiraling about all the moments you’re missing.It’s holding space for your partner’s recovery while your own mental health is doing that thing where it pretends everything’s fine until it absolutely isn’t.Resilience isn’t strength. It’s the exhausting mathematics of rationing a finite resource (your cognitive capacity) across infinite demands.And sometimes—most times—the equation doesn’t ...
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    1 min
  • S5 EP17: ADHD as an Entrepreneurial Superpower - Conversation with Stephanie Hayes
    May 7 2025

    This episode tells the compelling story of Stephanie Hayes, a seasoned business strategist who has spent years immersed in the world of startups and small businesses.

    She's known for helping entrepreneurs navigate the complexities of growth and plan for their future, including exit strategies. But there's another crucial layer to Stephanie's journey: her experience with ADHD.

    For much of her life, Stephanie was a high performer, excelling in various fields, even while navigating certain types of work that felt like a "slog" or presented difficulties with initiation.

    It wasn't until later, in 2021, that she received her ADHD diagnosis. This understanding brought a profound shift in perspective.

    Today, Stephanie doesn't view her ADHD as a deficit, but rather as her superpower. She sees that the very traits often associated with ADHD – a need for stimulation and a love for solving problems – are powerful drivers in the entrepreneurial landscape.

    The constant learning and overcoming challenges inherent in building a business resonate deeply with her. She has developed specific systems and found tools, like medication and even AI, that enable her to function effectively and channel this energy into productive work.

    This episode delves into how embracing neurodivergence – understanding and leveraging how your unique brain works – can be a powerful business strategy. Stephanie highlights that for neurodivergent individuals, aligning their business with who they are is not just personally beneficial, but strategically smart.

    Many of her clients also live with ADHD, finding common ground and shared understanding in this approach.

    Join us for a down-to-earth and insightful conversation with Stephanie Hayes as she shares her personal journey, practical strategies, and the powerful belief that ADHD can indeed be an entrepreneurial superpower, unlocking potential when you learn to work with your brain, not against it, and truly embrace neurodivergence for success.

    Diary of a ADHD Strategist | ♉ +📣 =👂🏽 is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.



    Get full access to Diary of a ADHD Strategist | ♉ +📣 =👂🏽 at elidervonte.substack.com/subscribe
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    54 mins
  • S5 EP16: ADHD and Narcissistic Patterns with Mariana Martinez Vampiew
    Apr 29 2025

    Well, listeners, what a conversation! I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with Mariana Martinez Vampiew, a strategist whose energy really caught my eye recently.

    Mariana's got this incredible blend of deep academic background – she's studied psychological studies, history, and education – coupled with powerful, real-world lived experience.

    As she shared, she's even got a past in cabaret, which was fascinating to hear how it connects to talking to a camera.

    I was curious about what drives her work. Mariana partnered with Fahim at narcissismexposed.com because they're both fellow survivors, and they're focused on helping people heal from all sorts of toxic relationships – not just romantic ones, but family, bosses, and friends too.

    They're really aware that terms like "NPD" can get overused these days, so their focus is broader, looking at toxic people, relationship dynamics, and attachment disorders.

    Now, the title of the Podcast episode was "ADHD and Narcissistic Patterns", and Mariana drew some really insightful parallels.

    Having been diagnosed with ADHD herself later in life, after years of building coping mechanisms, she knows firsthand how varied the presentation of ADHD can be.

    She explained how, much like ADHD, narcissistic traits aren't always the obvious "grandiose peacocks" you might imagine; there are also more covert, subtle "flavours".

    We got into the heart of spotting those patterns. Mariana made a key distinction: someone with ADHD might share their own story when you share yours because they're genuinely trying to commiserate and show support.

    But someone with narcissistic traits might share to "one up" you, making their story seem more important or using what you shared later. It's about the underlying motivation and the overall pattern.

    She also spoke quite openly about the emotional side of things, sharing her own experience with ADHD and anxious attachment.

    She explained how something like Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), which often comes with ADHD, can tie into those anxious attachment dynamics, especially when navigating potentially challenging relationship patterns.

    It really is a "stew" sometimes, as she put it, but something you can work on.

    One of the most practical takeaways was her advice on setting small, healthy boundaries early on in any relationship – work, friendship, or romantic.

    It's not about testing people; it's just part of healthy interaction. But how they react – with guilt-tripping, anger, or dismissal versus simple disappointment – can be a huge indicator of potential unhealthy dynamics and whether it might be part of a pattern like love bombing.

    She gave some clear examples, like needing to leave by a certain time or setting boundaries around uncomfortable topics.

    Mariana's passion for this work is clear; she wants to use her experience and knowledge to help people heal and protect themselves.

    They offer resources at different price points, from free content to one-on-one sessions, because they know toxic relationships can be financially draining too.

    It was a conversation filled with insights, emphasizing the importance of recognizing those behaviour patterns, trusting your gut, but also allowing yourself to remain open to healthy connections.

    If you want to learn more and find support, you can find Mariana and Fahim at narcissismexposed.com, or check out their YouTube and TikTok channels under the same name. They welcome feedback and ideas, too.

    Diary of a ADHD Strategist | ♉ +📣 =👂🏽 is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

    Mariana Details

    Website: NarcissismExposed.com Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@narcissism.exposed?_t=ZN-8vYVHTP1PT4&_r=1 Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@NarcissismExposed-w9p Buy me a coffee: buymeacoffee.com/doads



    Get full access to Diary of a ADHD Strategist | ♉ +📣 =👂🏽 at elidervonte.substack.com/subscribe
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    52 mins
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