Welcome back to Drunk By Noon! In this milestone Episode 50, we’re joined by friend of the pod, George, for a chaotic deep dive into everything from secret PMC startups and AI drone training to post traumatic JFL disorder.We're all tier one operator F1 billionaires and we kill at Wendy's after our moms drop us off except for Peter whose mom threw him into a wood chipper at age six so he took the bus. Homeless people want to be friends with us.In this episode, we cover:The JFL Conspiracy: Our hot takes on the Jerry Seinfeld headlining announcement and why Montreal bookers might be looking for a protest.The Hand Reveal: A 5-year-long mystery finally comes to light—we discuss Peter’s "character" and God’s blind spot.Military Dreams & Regrets: Why we all wish we joined the reserves at 18 for that sweet pension and the reality of Nigerian roommates in winter survival training.The Philosophy of Porn: A high-level comedic analysis of search histories, Teletubbies, and why some content is "straighter" than you think.Childhood Pranks & Psychosis: Hallucinating cyclopses in a synagogue and the time George scared a random kid at camp for his own personal thrill.Whether we're talking about the "Garlic Kings of Comedy" or the "Lebanese Weight Watchers," this episode is packed with the kind of unfiltered stories that only happen after a few drinks.Follow the Guest: Check out George Assily on the Lebanese Weight Watchers podcast and catch him live at the Garlic Kings of Comedy.Subscribe to Drunk By Noon for more weekly chaos, comedy, and questionable life choices.Timestamps:

00:00 – Episode 50 Kickoff: Friend of the Pod, George!00:17 – Debating "The List" & The Big Jay Epstein Files02:02 – Pre-Show Rituals: Green Room Chaos & The Guardian Interview04:00 – Classic Gaming Nostalgia: Call of Duty & Medal of Honour Rants05:54 – SS Soldier Cosplay06:38 – What is an F1 Billionaire? Tier Three Operator Talk07:09 – Jerry Seinfeld at JFL08:20 – Hot Takes on JFL Booking & The Montreal Latino Population12:13 – George’s Secret Career: Life as a Military Startup Contractor13:14 – THE HAND REVEAL: A 5-Year Mystery Finally Explained15:08 – God’s Blind Spot17:08 – Wendy’s Breakthroughs18:32 – Psychotic Breaks & The Orthodox Jews21:12 – Explaining Middle Eastern Affairs23:18 – The Katt Williams Impression Marathon27:26 – Lebanese Weight Watchers30:30 – Corporate Comedy Disasters34:08 – The "Philosophy" of Corn: Teletubby Gbangs?39:52 – George Floyd’s Secret Film Career? (Floyd the Landlord)42:20 – Discord Billions: How George Got a Job via Discord46:02 – Military Regrets: Why We Should Have Joined at 1850:12 – The Science of Pranks: The 4 AM Devil Mask Incident52:51 – Plugs: Lebanese Weight Watchers & Garlic Kings of Comedy#DrunkByNoon #ComedyPodcast #JFL #JustForLaughs #MilitaryHumour #MontrealComedy #PodcastLife #Episode50

Is the world collectively hallucinating, or is it just another episode of Drunk By Noon? 🍻

In Episode 49, we’re diving deep into the weirdest corners of modern reality. We kick things off with the news of Trump and Joe Rogan discussing the potential legalization of psychedelics. Will mushrooms actually become the new frontier for medical research, or are we just risking a collective case of schizophrenia?

We debate the "modern-day wizard" look and whether conventional rehab paths are still the way to go.Things get even more surreal as we explore the "insider trading" of reality on Poly Market, the mystery of the first evolved eyeball 👁️, and a theory that God might just be a very small fish at the bottom of the ocean. 🐟

Finally, we take a trip (metaphorically) to New York City to figure out why it’s a magnet for both the ultra-rich and the "abjectly poor," before ranting about the true villains of Montreal: incompetent leasing agents.

Topics covered in this episode:

The legalization of psychedelics & mushroom companies.Trump, Joe Rogan, and the "fast track" for drug research.

Poly Market, betting on reality, and market manipulation.

Evolution: Did meat or mushrooms make us human?

The mystery of the first eyeball and God-as-a-fish theories.

Why New York City feels like it’s on the brink of destruction.

The nightmare of Montreal rental applications and drunk leasing agents.

Timestamps:00:00 - Welcome to Episode00:57 - Trump & Joe Rogan’s Psychedelic Legalization Laws02:11 - Conventional Rehab vs. The "Modern-Day Wizard" Look 03:54 - Jordan Peterson, Matt Dillahunty, and Nicotine Cures05:05 - Why you shouldn't do Mushrooms with your Therapist 06:26 - Stoned Ape Theory: Did Monkeys Evolve on Mushrooms? 07:46 - Brain Development: The Real Reason Humans Cook Meat 08:06 - Evolution Mystery: Where did the first Eyeball come from? 11:07 - Betting on Reality with Poly Market 12:28 - Insider Trading & Trump’s influence on the Market 15:58 - Trump’s comedic tweets & "The End is Near" 18:20 - Montreal Legend: The "Hollywood" Homeless Guy 20:56 - Why NYC feels like it’s on the brink of destruction 22:40 - The Magnetism of Poverty vs. Success in New York25:52 - Is New York actually crazier than other cities? 27:50 - The "Logic" of being homeless in a warm climate 29:43 - Navigating the system: Comfort in the cesspool 32:04 - Rant: The nightmare of Montreal Rental Applications

Don't forget to follow us to join the noon-time chaos!

The guys return for an episode fuelled by Tinder fails, botched dental work, and international fugitives. Pecker attempts to coach the crew through a Persian Tinder match, while the table discusses why Brazil is the ultimate destination for global hide-and-seek.

The highlight of the episode comes when the group finally notices a physical detail about Peter that has been right in front of them for an entire year. From Rodrigo Duterte’s wild presidency in the Philippines to the chemistry of extracting gold from electronics in India, this episode covers the high-brow and the low-brow with equal irreverence.

Timestamps:

00:00 - The Gym & Hidden History

02:15 - Tinder Advice

04:05 - The 500km Dating Distance Problem

05:10 - The "Not Sponsored" Instagram Nose Strip Review

06:00 - Dental Dramas & Doctor Mentors

08:20 - The Big Reveal: Addressing Peter's Hand

11:10 - Family Secrets & "Mind Your Business"

13:40 - Survival Stories: The Combine Harvester Incident

18:40 - The "Useless Wizard" & Pickle Ball

23:15 - Fred Durst & The Worst Movie Ever Made

27:40 - Philippine Bounty Hunters & Global News

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In this episode:

• The Dating Game: "Rooftop adventures" and Tinder hookers.

• Health & Beauty: Why nasal strips fall off if you have a personality.

• Medical Horror: Mentors who cover for their friends' botched surgeries.

• The Big Reveal: Peter's three-fingered hand and his father's "mind your business" parenting style.

• Cinema Corner: Defending 'House of a 1000 Corpses' and roasting Fred Durst’s directorial debut.

• Global Economics: 24% interest rates in Iran and why everyone is buying gold.