I didn’t want sex…
but I wanted to be wanted.

And for a long time, I thought something was wrong with me.

Because nobody talks about this feeling—
wanting attention…
craving desire…
but shutting down the moment it becomes real.

In this episode, Christy opens up about a deeply confusing internal tension:

The desire to be seen…
without feeling safe enough to be touched.

From growing up in an environment where sex was framed as dangerous…
to learning how to perform confidence without actually feeling it…
this is a raw look at what happens when your body and your beliefs don’t agree.

Because sometimes…

you don’t have a desire problem.

You have a safety problem.

This episode walks through the reality of what that looks like in real life—
from relationships that feel disconnected…
to intimacy that feels like performance…
to the quiet question so many people carry:

“Why can’t I feel what I’m supposed to feel?”

But the story doesn’t stop there.

What makes this episode powerful is the unexpected turning point—
a moment of rejection that should have reinforced every insecurity…

but instead did the opposite.

Because for the first time, the thing she feared most actually happened.

And she didn’t break.

She didn’t disappear.

She realized she could survive it.

And in that moment…
something shifted.

Not because someone chose her—

but because someone didn’t.

This episode explores what it really means to feel safe in your own body,
to stop performing for validation,
and to understand the difference between being desired…

and feeling safe enough to receive it.

Because those are not the same thing.

If you’ve ever felt disconnected in moments you thought you were supposed to feel alive…
if you’ve ever questioned yourself for not responding the “right” way…
if you’ve ever thought, “maybe something is wrong with me”—

this conversation will meet you right there.

And maybe…

it will help you realize
that healing doesn’t start
when someone finally chooses you—

but when you stop needing them to.