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Empty Nest Full Banter

Empty Nest Full Banter

Written by: Jo n Stu
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About this listen

Comedy podcast where Jo gets her facts hilariously wrong and Stu roasts her for it. 24 years together, still laughing at each other. New episodes weekly.

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Episodes
  • 🎄 1-STAR REVIEWS: The Buckingham Palace Toilet Crisis & Rod Stewart’s Hair Rage! | Christmas Comedy

    🎄 1-STAR REVIEWS: The Buckingham Palace Toilet Crisis & Rod Stewart’s Hair Rage! | Christmas Comedy
    Dec 26 2025
    Jo challenges Anthony Joshua to a £210 MILLION boxing match (with a ring "a couple of miles wide"), we discover the most OUTRAGEOUS 1-star reviews on the internet, and debate whether AI will force plumbers to become mobile waxers named Dave! 🥊 🎯 IN THIS EPISODE: 🥊 Jo vs. Anthony Joshua: The Fight of the Century £210 million boxing match challenge (officially undefeated record!) Training footage that will terrify... absolutely no one Ring specifications: "a couple of miles wide" Eddie Hearn, your phone should be ringing! ⭐ RIDICULOUS 1-STAR REVIEWS: 🚽 Buckingham Palace Toilet Scandal "Only go with a strong bladder" - the royal bathroom crisis Orange juice + cups of tea = disaster waiting to happen Should they rip out the throne room for urinals? The rose bush conspiracy theory revealed 🎸 Rod Stewart's "Cheesy Bull*cks" Christmas Album Husband's jealous rant about Rod's hair (he's in his 80s!) "She thinks he's the bees knees - about time he had a decent haircut" Couples therapy urgently needed The bullock/bollocks spelling debate 😎 Sunglasses Review Mystery "There was a big time on my face" - WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?! Could be 5-stars in other circumstances... Translation failures that create pure comedy gold 🃏 The Left-Handed Playing Cards Miracle "Finally cards for left handers!" (Wait, what?) How is this even possible? We need left-handers to explain this in the comments! 🕯️ The Candle review "Love this candle - didn't arrive" ⭐ Other reviews: "I have to repaint my walls!" Should've been 5-stars for NOT arriving 🏛️ THE BUDE TUNNEL: Britain's 8th Wonder of the World 1,582 reviews! 4.7 stars! No. 4 attraction in Bude! "A glorious curved corridor of wonders" "Don't be fooled - it's a PORTAL, a cultural experience!" "Forget the Eiffel Tower or Grand Canyon" - THIS is the real deal It's literally a plastic-covered walkway to Sainsbury's The haters: "15 seconds of walking time" (THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND MAJESTY) Britain's answer to the Sydney Opera House Bucket list pilgrimage destination 🤖 When AI Takes Our Jobs Dave the plumber becomes Dave the mobile waxer "What seems to be the trouble with your pipes, madam?" Industrial duct tape and big pliers for beauty treatments The jobs AI definitely CAN'T take 📅 Naming the Days Between Christmas & New Year Twixmas? Noel-tide Eve? Xmas Fest? Stu's revolutionary proposal: Twixmas Eve, Twixmas day, Boxing Twix The days that don't have names FINALLY get justice 🎬 Christmas Content Special Jo's bold red Christmas lip ("very kissable") The mistletoe camera incident Why we're all social media stars now Management team requirements (Off Menu podcast, watch out!) ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 - Christmas Intro & Twixmas Debate 2:41 - Boxing Day: Jo vs Anthony Joshua Challenge 5:03 - The Management Team Situation 6:01 - AI Takes Our Jobs: Dave the Waxer 7:32 - REVIEWS BEGIN: Buckingham Palace Toilet Crisis 9:01 - Rod Stewart's Hair Controversy 11:28 - "Big Time On My Face" Mystery 12:08 - Left-Handed Cards Phenomenon 13:21 - The Candle That Didn't Arrive 14:01 - THE BUDE TUNNEL LEGEND BEGINS 19:38 - Shuffling Papers Like the News 💬 BEST QUOTES: "There was a big time on my face" "Cheesy bollocks!" "A Monument to human ingenuity and perspex" "The 8th wonder of the world" "Some people got no class - they'd show them the Mona Lisa and say 'it's just a bad painting of a grumpy woman!'" 👫 ABOUT US: We're Stu & Jo - married 24 years and still finding reasons to laugh at the internet's most ridiculous reviews! Join us for weekly comedy, chaos, and questionable Christmas content. 📱 CONNECT: 💬 Left-handers: PLEASE explain those playing cards! 🥊 Anthony Joshua: Check your DMs 🏛️ Have you visited the Bude Tunnel? Share your life-changing experience! ⭐ Send us your favorite terrible reviews! #Podcast #BudeTunnel #Christmas #FunnyReviews #1StarReviews #BritishComedy #Twixmas #AnthonyJoshua #MarriedLife #CouplePodcast #ChristmasSpecial ⚠️ WARNING: Contains discussions of royal toilets, follicular jealousy, mysterious face-times, and plastic tunnel worship. May cause uncontrollable laughter and urgent desire to visit Sainsbury's Bude. 👍 LIKE if you've ever left a confusing review 💬 COMMENT your worst 1-star review experience 🔔 SUBSCRIBE for more review madness Thanks for watching! Now go visit the Bude Tunnel - it's only 15 seconds of your life! 🛒
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    20 mins
  • 1-Star Review Madness + Nightmare on Elm Street vs Miracle on 34th Street Mix-Up! 🎄😱

    1-Star Review Madness + Nightmare on Elm Street vs Miracle on 34th Street Mix-Up! 🎄😱
    Dec 19 2025

    Jo confuses NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET with a wholesome Christmas film (perfect for babysitting, right?), and we dive into the most RIDICULOUS 1-star reviews on the internet. Plus: the dumbest inventions ever made, including a solar-powered bikini and ice cream that rotates itself!

    🎯 IN THIS EPISODE:

    🎬 Christmas Film DISASTERS

    Jo suggests "Nightmare on Elm Street" for festive family viewing

    "There's a lovely little girl in it... probably not for long"

    The Miracle on 34th Street vs. Freddy Krueger confusion

    Never let Jo choose the Christmas movies

    ⭐ HILARIOUS 1-Star Reviews: When Stupidity Meets Amazon

    👁️ Eye drops review: "The instructions are only for RIGHT-HANDED people!"

    🏋️ Dumbbells: "No instructions included" (2 people found this helpful!)

    🧻 Toilet roll for Australian guests (they need QUALITY)

    📝 Pritt Stick: "I'm left-handed and turned it the wrong way"

    🪒 The "balding brush" keeper (in case they buy it again!)

    💯 "1-star: Good quality, excellent product" - HUH?!

    🎖️ Military Precision vs. Surgical Strikes

    Jo's Facts: "Surgical strikes only happen in operating theatres!"

    The most ridiculous debate we've ever had

    Welcome to "Jo's Facts" - where knowledge goes to die

    🤦 The WORST Inventions Ever Made

    ☀️ Solar-Powered Bikini (charge your phone while tanning!)

    👟 Metal Detecting Sandals (looks like house arrest)

    🔫 Gun-Shaped Camera (with realistic gunshot sounds!)

    🍦 Ice Cream Cone Rotator (because hands are SO last century)

    🎅 Christmas Updates:

    🥧 Mince Pie Counter: 12 → 6 (where did they go, Jo?)

    🌊 Wreath vs. Storm Bram: THE REMATCH

    🎄 Jo gets attacked by a neighbor's wreath (caught on Ring doorbell!)

    🎁 Christmas card distribution goes hilariously wrong

    ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

    0:00 - Nightmare on Elm Street Christmas Special

    0:50 - Ridiculous Product Reviews Begin

    4:03 - Surgical Strike Debate (Jo's Facts)

    6:50 - The Dumbbells With No Instructions

    8:48 - More Christmas Film Confusion

    10:03 - WORST Inventions: Solar Bikini Edition

    13:54 - Ice Cream Rotator & Science Gone Mad

    15:00 - Mince Pie Investigation

    16:00 - Wreath Attacks Jo (CCTV footage exists!)

    17:00 - Like, Subscribe, Comment!

    💬 BEST QUOTES:

    "There's a lovely little girl... probably not for long!"

    "Surgical strikes only happen in operating theatres"

    "I wasted a load one day before realizing the top was still on"

    "It went straight on my face like your phone does in the night!"

    👫 ABOUT US:

    We're Stu & Jo - married 24 years and still trying to get through Christmas without incident. He's sensible. She confuses horror films with festive classics. We read stupid product reviews, and somehow Jo gets attacked by a Christmas wreath. Join us for weekly chaos!

    📱 CONNECT WITH US:

    Ever left a ridiculous 1-star review? Witnessed a wreath attack? Confused by the difference between Nightmare on Elm Street and Miracle on 34th Street?

    COMMENT BELOW!

    Have you eaten all the mince pies? Us too. 🥧

    #Podcast #Christmas #FunnyReviews #ProductReviews #Amazon #ChristmasMovies #NightmareOnElmStreet #BritishComedy #MarriedLife #CouplePodcast #ChristmasFails #1StarReviews #DumbInventions #ProductFails #HolidayChaos #FestiveFails #ChristmasHumor #AmazonReviews #WeirdProducts #PodcastComedy #UKPodcast #FunnyPodcast #ChristmasContent

    ⚠️ WARNING: Contains: Freddy Krueger babysitting scenarios, people who can't operate Pritt Sticks, Australian toilet paper standards, and a wreath with murderous intent.

    👍 LIKE if you've ever left a ridiculous review

    💬 COMMENT your worst product fail

    🔔 SUBSCRIBE for weekly pre-Christmas meltdowns

    Thanks for watching! Now go read some 1-star reviews for entertainment! ⭐

    P.S. Our wreath is still alive (barely). The mince pies are not. 🎄🥧
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    18 mins
  • Mince Pies in the House: Can Jo Resist? (Plus: Wrong Car Chaos)

    Mince Pies in the House: Can Jo Resist? (Plus: Wrong Car Chaos)
    Dec 12 2025

    👫 Stu & Jo | Married 24 years, empty nesters | Jo gets things confidently wrong, Stu lovingly corrects her

    Jo's mince pie addiction reaches CRITICAL levels (12 pies under one roof!), and we accidentally become your new educators - learning about panettone, leavened bread, and medieval insults. Plus: Why did Stu get into someone else's car? 🚗

    🎯 IN THIS EPISODE:

    📚 The Discovery Channel of Podcasts (not really)

    Learn about panettone (it's LEAVENED, people!)

    Etymology deep dive: Why is Tom the fool?

    The origin of "lovelorn" revealed

    Crampons vs Clamp-ons: Jo's mountain climbing confusion

    You can call yourself a DOCTOR after watching 3 episodes! 🎓

    🎄 Christmas Chaos Begins

    Storm Bram vs the front door wreath

    Chief Elf hands over the tinsel reins (empty nest alert!)

    Jo's mince pie obsession reaches defcon 1

    Current supply: 12 mince pies (place your bets for next episode)

    The great panettone investigation

    🚨 DANGER OF LIFE WARNING

    Not a danger TO life... a danger OF life

    Why September & October are popular birthday months

    Storm Bram's unintended consequences

    Stu comes home "sodden" (word of the episode!)

    🌱 Jo's Gardening Update

    Planting bulbs in a storm (smart gardening!)

    How many of our audience are gardeners? (Hordes, obviously)

    Storm Bram does the watering for free

    🚗 THE WRONG CAR INCIDENT

    Stu's car is suspiciously clean 🤔

    Classic tomfoolery at the supermarket

    Video reaction: Man's dad gets in wrong car

    Link: https://www.instagram.com/reels/DRkP_92Ea2Q/

    The rolling Audi mystery: Did our car move itself?!

    🎭 Life Together: Perky vs Peaky

    Jo's energy levels: From flat to BUZZING

    The "thinking has a satellite delay" phenomenon

    Stu's loving observations about Jo's... unique brain

    Why Jo seems like a fool (but isn't... completely!)

    🍕 Forgotten Pizza & Abandoned Children

    That time Stu forgot to pick up the child from school

    Why being early is NOT our thing

    The red coat ninja entrance at comedy shows

    ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:

    0:00 - Intro & PhD Level Education

    2:00 - Storm Bram & Wreath Drama

    3:00 - Christmas Tree Chief Elf Crisis

    5:45 - MINCE PIE ADDICTION ALERT

    8:00 - The Panettone Investigation

    10:00 - Clamp-ons, Tomfoolery & Lovelorn

    14:00 - The Pizza & Forgotten Child Story

    15:58 - Wrong Car Video Reaction

    17:00 - Stu's Wrong Car Confession

    18:15 - The Rolling Audi Mystery

    💬 BEST QUOTES:

    "Once you've watched three of our episodes, you can call yourself a doctor!"

    "This car is terribly clean..."

    "I instantly knew which child I'd abandoned"

    "Like an addict with some supply in the building"

    "Maybe this is where all the Christmas babies come from"

    👫 ABOUT US:

    We're Stu & Jo - married 24 years (somehow!). He's logical. She speaks at 100mph while her brain catches up later. We're very different people making it work, one sodden episode at a time!

    📱 CONNECT WITH US:

    Got mince pie addiction support? Car park confusion stories? Leave a comment!

    Gardening demographic: Make yourselves known! 🌱

    #EmptyNestFullBanter #BritishComedy #UKPodcast #MarriedLife #EmptyNesters #ChristmasPodcast #MincePies #Panettone #StormBram #Etymology #WordOrigins #ComedyPodcast #WrongCar #MarriageHumor

    ⚠️ WARNING: Contains dangerous levels of mince pie obsession, educational content about leavened bread, and evidence that both hosts probably shouldn't be allowed near car parks.

    👍 LIKE if you've ever gotten into the wrong car

    💬 COMMENT your best car park disaster story

    🔔 SUBSCRIBE for weekly tomfoolery

    Thanks for watching! Stay perky, not peaky! 🎄✨
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    19 mins
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