Episodes

  • Where the Duck is Minerva McGonagall? by Rogue_Roxy | Chapter 22: Instruction Pamphlets Are Provided For A Reason
    Jan 18 2026

    Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.

    Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.

    Warnings:

    - Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.

    - Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.

    - Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.

    - Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution.


    Originally posted as a written work on AO3:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/65502379⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


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    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AO3

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    58 mins
  • Where the Duck is Minerva McGonagall? by Rogue_Roxy | Chapter 21: Mr. Is-Hard
    Jan 11 2026

    Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.

    Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.

    Warnings:

    - Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.

    - Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.

    - Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.

    - Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution.


    Originally posted as a written work on AO3:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/65502379⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Like the podfic and/or want to check out my other works?

    Follow me on:

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    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AO3

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    51 mins
  • Where the Duck is Minerva McGonagall? by Rogue_Roxy | Chapter 20: I Hope You're Using Protection, Son
    Dec 22 2025

    Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.

    Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.

    Warnings:

    - Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.

    - Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.

    - Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.

    - Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution.


    Originally posted as a written work on AO3:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/65502379⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Like the podfic and/or want to check out my other works?

    Follow me on:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AO3

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    49 mins
  • Where the Duck is Minerva McGonagall? by Rogue_Roxy | Chapter 19: Call Me Daddy
    Dec 15 2025

    Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.

    Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.

    Warnings:

    - Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.

    - Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.

    - Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.

    - Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution.


    Originally posted as a written work on AO3:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/65502379⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Like the podfic and/or want to check out my other works?

    Follow me on:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AO3

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    57 mins
  • Bows on Dicks - A Christmas Crack Reading
    Dec 6 2025

    The title literally says it all...


    Enjoy this short crack fic written by me for Steph's amazing Christmas Crack Collection - A Superfluous Fest.


    Originally posted as a written work on AO3:

    https://archiveofourown.org/works/75317291


    Like the podfic and/or want to check out my other works?

    Follow me on:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AO3

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    6 mins
  • Where the Duck is Minerva McGonagall? by Rogue_Roxy | Chapter 18: We Don't Spank Guests!
    Dec 6 2025

    Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.

    Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.

    Warnings:

    - Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.

    - Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.

    - Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.

    - Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution.


    Originally posted as a written work on AO3:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/65502379⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Like the podfic and/or want to check out my other works?

    Follow me on:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AO3

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    51 mins
  • Where the Duck is Minerva McGonagall? by Rogue_Roxy | Chapter 17: Thatching
    Nov 29 2025

    Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.

    Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.

    Warnings:

    - Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.

    - Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.

    - Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.

    - Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution.


    Originally posted as a written work on AO3:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://archiveofourown.org/works/65502379⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠


    Like the podfic and/or want to check out my other works?

    Follow me on:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AO3

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    50 mins
  • Portrait of a Black Widow by booksandbanter
    Nov 24 2025

    A silver spoon spins to decide Hermione's fate...

    Will she marry Theodore Nott or Draco Malfoy? But the portraits of dead wives whisper ancient secrets, and Hermione learns to turn tradition into poison.

    Theodore calls her his prize. Draco calls her his obsession. The wizarding world will call her the Black Widow of the Sacred Twenty-Eight.

    She'll bury them both before they can bury her.


    Originally posted as a written work on AO3:

    https://archiveofourown.org/works/74370866


    Like the podfic and/or want to check out my other works?

    Follow me on:

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    ⁠⁠⁠AO3

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    28 mins