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Even though I Grieve

Even though I grieve

I can smile at your photo

Even though I cry

I can feel grateful

Even though I am broken

I can limp along today

Even though I miss you

I can create new memories now

Even though you were always here

I know that you are gone

Even though my house is quiet

I can still feel, and hear you

Even though I grieve you son

My love spans all time and space.

I will always be your Mom.

You will always be my Daniel.

Even though I grieve and hurt

I am healed by memories of you.

Dear listeners and friends,

This is the idea behind this episode .... I AM 213 DAYS INTO THIS GRIEF....

So, I say to myself, each day. “Wake up. Breathe. Be grateful. Check in with yourself. What should I do next?” Here I am. Back in the comfort of my own words and hoping that somehow, I can find others who are learning to live with loss, and grief. Are you there? How can I help? How can we help each other? And I stop, make myself a coffee from my Nespresso machine, take the dog out, and hug my husband. Then I wonder if I am having attention deficit because I forgot what I originally intended to do before I started making my coffee. Ever have that happen to you?

OK. Keep going Julie. BREATHE!! Grief is like a getting a new skin. A transformation into a new human being whose heart has been broken beyond repair. The pain just becomes part of everything. By osmosis grief enters every cell of your physical human existence and forms a new person. It is this new you, that supports how you cope. It is the new way you interpret the world. It is you transformed in how you exist in relationships.

As I have taken minute by minute, stepping along with this new " me " in my life after Daniel, figuring out what to do now has been really hard. I feel like a tree with no trunk and just a lot of branches floating in the wind. Nothing is grounded. Nothing is landing.

But here I am, and this is now episode 30 of a podcast project that I had hoped would help people who are caregivers, that has turned into "People who are caregivers whose person died".

Please let me know if there is anything I say that connects with you, or make suggestions to help me. I am so grateful to be here now. And I hope you are too!!!

Much Love,
Julie A. Hasselberger

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