Today’s episode is my most honest and heaviest yet — a structured trauma dump. This is everything I’ve been carrying, shared gently and openly, so no one has to feel as alone as I once did.

I talk about the weekend our house was broken into, how my grandmother’s jewelry was stolen, and how that moment shaped my first ideas about safety. I share my earliest panic attack at eight years old, my first suicide attempt at ten after smashing my “egg baby” project, and how I started self-harming at the same age — something I still work to manage today.

I open up about being bullied daily, the girl who emailed me telling me to kill myself, the police escorting me to class, and the year I was banned from the bus after panic attacks triggered by relentless bullying.

I talk about becoming hypersexual at a young age due to trauma, smoking weed at 14 to escape, and dating a 21-year-old mechanic when I was 16 — learning to shrink myself to survive.

I share what it was like to become pregnant at 18, to be abandoned by my child’s father before he returned later, and to enter an abusive marriage. I talk about the threats to my pets, the fear that kept me from leaving, and the day I finally found the courage to walk away.

Finally, I share what came after: becoming financially independent, paying my own bills, buying new things for myself and my son, and proving to myself that I could build a life after everything.

This episode is heavy, but it ends with hope. It’s about survival, resilience, and daring to say, “I’m still here.”

If you’ve been through panic attacks, bullying, abuse, or loss — I want you to know you are not too broken and you are not alone. Please take care of yourself after this one. Drink water, breathe, and remind yourself: you survived everything that tried to break you.